bojo is king, brexit is on, stuff is fvcked, tomorrow starts here -- new govt new thread new battle

surely you aren't allowed to transport rotting cadavers in the passenger seat of a car?

― calzino, Tuesday, 24 December 2019 10:23 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

im sure ive told the story about the lad from down home who was in his bollix going to pay the quoted price for his uncle to be shipped home from london post mortem, and went and got him, put him front seat in the escort and took him home on the ferry

lol.. how on earth could you. My mum used to take photos of corpses at open coffin funerals - I could never work out the motivation to do that!

the open coffin is a fuckin curse for sure, brr no thanks

51 years old and as far as I recall I've never seen a corpse irl

Lads ye are weak horses, I’ve never been to a closed-coffin funeral

only corpse i've seen is Lenin's iirc

appropriately enough

I saw my first corpse I was about 6 or 7 when a young boy from the traveler's site was pulled out of the lock, but this was from a safe distance. Once there was a suicide on the train tracks and the bizzies did a really shit job of cleaning up all the remains and quite a few from my estate were going on grim pilgrimages to them and poking this stuff with a stick and saying "woooy!!looks like summat I just had for my tea" etc..

Saw all the dead popes they have under the Vatican in the Necropolis in St Peters basilica.

So, the only corpses I have seen are all popes.

I'd drag every one of them papal cadavers out of that crypt and give them a piece of my mind for all the wrongs they've done!

xxxp
https://i.postimg.cc/DfWSSjDs/9-C323030-68-D6-40-B6-8852-C73-D9-BFBE8-B5.gif

I can't remember where I read this grimly hilarious account of the bodged embalming of Chairman Mao that haunts my thoughts. There weren't no experts about and all they had to go on was some borrowed embalming instructions from the Soviet Union or something. They totally fucked it up and made him look like a bloated green sea bass or something and you get the sense of panic they must have been feeling as were trying to correct this fuckup before some party officials would have them shot!

yuurgh! *runs while endorsing rlb*

51 years old and as far as I recall I've never seen a corpse irl

I'm struggling to fit a medium crown turkey in my shitty oven. Don't know the long-pig is going to fit in there ffs.

this has been a cruel year in many respects but continually teasing the deaths of one or more royals and delivering zero was especially irritating

Year’s not over yet, you seen the pics of undead Phil?

feel like he can keep that up for a decade tbh

adrenochrome is a helluva drug

By that difficult 9th season of The Crown he will have been a grateful recipient of the first successful body transplant.

he can have mine, i can see i'd be trading up

The Mao embalming story is from 'The Private Life of Chairman Mao: The Memoirs of Mao's Personal Physician' by Li Zhisui, pretty grim book with memorable bits with him never brushing his teeth (just swilling it out with green tea) and only "washing" his penis in virgin teenage peasant girls.

The maosoleum in Beijing still claims to contain his body, not a waxwork, but in my 8 years there I never managed to get up at 6am to go check it out.

Yes, it's an excellent read is that. Oh fuck, that comment on his genital hygiene.. Hideous man!

His reasoning for not brushing his teeth was that tigers don't do it iirc

i mean he’s not wrong tbfftl

his hair was 70% right and 30% wrong

Chairman Mao: right on landlords, right on tigers

I lived for 6 months with my wife on a hutong off nanluoguxiang in beijing, it was one of those courtyard houses, we just had one room in the complex owned by a terrifying old lady we had to call "dama" - she was part of a "red song" singing contest and used to practice tunelessly singing a song about "we will take the landlord's stick and beat him with it" outside my door at 5.30am every fucking day, she was literally my landlord and walked around with a stick.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EMjR3usXsAACBkM?format=jpg&name=large Clive should be lower imo

tiger, tiger, swiping right

they seem to have erroneously neglected to put Starmer in the bottom box with Jess!

yeah Clive is way too dodgy. Growing up in public is tough - but he's nearly bloody 50 ffs!

it's pretty much done as a competition.

yeah but they're gonna get the leader and the deputy the wrong way round again

i mean...do we reckon mcdonnell in charge could have taken this election? i almost do

McD probably wouldn't have got nommed by Dame Beckett, she probably just considered Corbyn a placeholder joke and no threat, who wouldn't have got many votes. McD on the other hand...

idk really .. just guessing here

i mean...do we reckon mcdonnell in charge could have taken this election? i almost do

Even though I much prefer McDonnell to Corbyn in almost every department, if you think Corbyn was given a hard time over Irish Republican sympathies it would have been as nothing to what McDonnell would have faced.

Yeah I was going to say, Corbyn was almost comically English, big Johnny Mac has a hunger strikers placard in his office, dual loyalties trope for years.

If you are a McD fan it's hard to understand why so many people despise him, but that's pretty much why most of 'em do!

McD's interest in drain covers is more about placing bombs under them, amirite?

from here it really seems like McD would have lost in pretty much the same way but the debates would have been considerably more satisfying I think

john’s raw sexual charisma would have secured a historic labour landslide imo

tracy-ann oberman has spent entire years on here talking about how corbyn was an evil anti-semite terrorist yet when she saw him in person her main thoughts was that he was pretty hot https://t.co/F6U0p7dTlx pic.twitter.com/Sd3qunmuqr

— doug (@heardougtweet) December 23, 2019

melts contain multitudes!

itt: corbynite hornyposting (anyone thirsting for richard burgon will be permabanned)

meltitudes

was taken to many funerals of elderly people i had never met as a child and used to always have a good poke at the body and nobody ever gave out to me

lol responding to this

Lads ye are weak horses, I’ve never been to a closed-coffin funeral

― glindr jackson (gyac), Tuesday, 24 December 2019 12:17 (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink