star wars 9 spoilers and postmortem shit talk

Endor is the moon the planet is... whatever... also it did blowed up real good in Jedi so

she wouldn't let him kiss her before he left

incredible willpower imo

the mask does not come off

*composes reply*

*deletes reply*

maybe the helmet is her face and it just...does that

Ah, fsr I thought Endor was the main planet (tho even blowed-up wreckage should remain in orbit)

Come to think of it, this movie had several plot similarities w/Frozen II.

the forest moon of Endor. the forest moon is Endor. it’s all true, nobody bothered to address any of that in the original movie! it’s fine.

apparently the planet at the beginning of this one, where Kylo Ren is taking down a bunch of locals before finding the wayfinder? that’s mustafar, and the macguffin was in his grandpa’s stash. this was completely opaque in the movie

we were talking about that at a party last night. none of us knew it was supposed to be Mustafar.

what else was in his stache? do Sith ahve good doobage?

Yavin IV, eg

That’s funny, I fleetingly thought it looked like Mustafar, but promptly forgot about that whole scene.

apparently the visual dictionary for the movie has an entry for those locals

those books are pretty cool imo and have some cool story crafting when it comes to aliens planets

Ugh, now I sort of want to rewatch all 9 movies (not a productive feeling)

/Darth Vader’s son was a nobody; and probably would’ve remained a nobody, if Obi-Wan hadn’t lived nearby to keep an eye on him.

I ended up re-watching Revenge Of The Sith last night and if you could just mute 90% of Anakin, Padme and Obi-Wan's lines it's not horrendous.

Can I just in general say I find it insane to think that a ninth film in a nine-film series necessarily must repeat the structure of the sixth film, and should include lots of callbacks to films four through six in general. That really does not make narrative sense to me. In general, it was always nonsense that the saga should consist of three films about the fall of the republic, three films about rebels fighting an empire, and then three films that tells the exact same story as the earlier three films, but with one side called the resistance, and the other side called the first order. In hindsight, that was never going to feel like anything else than three extra films awkwardly grafted onto an already finished tale.

OBJECTION

the third film! the THIRD film!!

Lucas didn’t use a time machine to insert episodes 1 - 3 as films into the timeline in like, 1972 or something

the callbacks to the original trilogy aren’t trying to make two last episode blocks be similar, they’re explicitly meant to call back to something supposedly more authentic from a prior era

preceding 75 years of story time.

Well he was apparently born after Ep. III, and died well before Ep. VII; so there wasn’t a lot of opportunity for him to come up in the movies... unless Palpy had said to Vader during one of their holo-chats in Empire: “Ugh, my son is such a loser...”

(Haha, the Wookiepedia entry for Rey is now titled “Rey Skywalker”... that’s very, like, Wikipedia the day a celebrity announces a name change.)

my Darth Rey theory was not far off tbh

My post-concussion Palpatine head-canon:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhKaw-qIltM

i was very disappointed keri russell not only didn't take her helmet off but also didn't wear a wig, have a fake accent, and then have sex with someone then kill them.

real talk

I feel real dumb that i am just now realizing this. The Emperor not moving didn't really strike as weird cos he wasn't real ambulatory in the OG series.

I kept thinking he was sitting in a chair but didn't realize he was hooked up to what amounts to Jedi life support so he physically couldn't move at all and was probably pretty near death and only had enough left to use his power in bursts. So he needed a new vessel.

I knew he was weakened but not how much. So he figured ok guess I'll live on in Rey, but then when he used his power to force shove Rey and Kylo, he received life force due to their being a dyad in the force, and it restored a significant amount of his energy and he changed his mind and wanted to continue living in physical form and fuck everyone else. And then he got his force lightning power back.

Obv that was stated in the dialogue, but I guess I thought his powers were stronger prior to that and that he intentionally restrained himself during the final battle.

I'm hella dumb

s/Jedi/Sith

I wonder if an alternative way to get rid of him would have just been to use some lightsaber moves to disconnect him from his weird waldo rig

it did seem precarious

I was thinking maybe that would have made the sith horde come after her, but now that I think about it, they’re definitely the “if he can’t cut it, it means he’s not worthy” type by dogma

sith horde surely a pathetic rupert pupkin-esque cheering section that existed only in palpy’s mind

What an allegory.

Rey is predatory healthcare capitalism snuffing out the last breaths of an elder man with no insurance

Som... she's the baddie!

what if instead of blasting her with lightning he was just vaping bad fluid super hard at her and she's deflecting it into his face until his lungs melt

Hoist by his own pentard

I only know about this because of Oscar Isaac complaining about the straight-washing

Disney: Oscar stop it or our lawyers will be in contact

Oscar: let’s do it baby I know the lawpic.twitter.com/eFriPWp3g8

— general chloe 🌿 tros x2 (@chloeelake) December 22, 2019

lol Oscar Isaac otm

I don't care about Stucky or Finn/Poe but the attempts at introducing female love interests for any of these characters (Bucky aside) in their respective movies were so clumsy and half-hearted, the cinematic equivalents of "no homo".

Having rewatched TFA and TLJ, feel sad for Oscar Isaac, who started out playing Poe as a generous, loving person who sees the best in every man he meets and wants to have sex with him, and who ends up asking a woman in a helmet “Would you like to have a kiss like old times?”

— Angelo Muredda (@amuredda) December 23, 2019

aren't Rei, Finn, and Poe a thruple at the end though? Progress!

they've spent like 5 minutes together by the end of 3 movies

Am I the only person who thought that at the end when Maz sat down next to lonely-looking chewie and looked at him meaningfully that they were going to kiss?

She jokingly called Chewie her boyfriend in TFA so...yep.i did too

clearly what this movie needed was a post-victory celebration inspired by the end of Society

Maz was pretty pointless in this movie.

Oh btw confirmed..the line is "Knights of Ren... ghouls!"

...Although I always forget that Chewie is husband and father

This Trilogy really upped the violence a bit. Strangely, arm severing was always kosher in the OG trilogy, but anybody shot by a laser merely fell over like they were playing cops and robbers. No blood, no entry wounds.

There's blood in the first ten mins of TFA, sabers are used to impale over and over. You see entry points when lasers pierce Stormtrooper armor, there's an off-screen BEHEADING in the new one. You even see Ren's gross exposed innards briefly after Rey kills him and before restoring him.

Idk if i coulda handled that as a 9 year old. Obv that's why it's PG-13, which Revenge of the Sith started, but I feel like 98% of that rating came from the dismemberment on Mustafar, as well as Padme force choke and off-screen Youngling murders

agree with that. i could have done without any of the impalings tbh, partic han’s.

Also the scene where Rey cut off Palpatine's head, then wore it like a mask and ran around to everyone yelling "Look at meeeeee, I'm Palpatineeeeeee" was a bit much

The final scene with Rey and Kylo, kiss excluded, got me at the end on rewatch. It's the first time he's been, free of burden, free of pretense, and it shows in Driver's face

Oh btw confirmed..the line is "Knights of Ren... ghouls!"

I WAS SAYING GHOUL-URNS