star wars 9 spoilers and postmortem shit talk

(that was an xpost, btw — LOL)

I am glad Snap died, because Abrams casting Grunberg in every damn thing in a bit role is tiring and he seemingly only appears in the movie when JJ is directing

We got about five seconds of Wedge Antilles, that was nice

that's true! (re only appearing when JJ directs)

how's Oscar Isaac

I wonder if someone in casting told Abrams they were tired of seeing all these faces from his TV shows and that’s why Keri Russell was stuck in a helmet

Oscar Isaac does ok, although I regret to inform you he remains clothed and his character flirts badly

xp Oh, that was her?

yeah did i miss something? how come helmet girl gives poe the brush-off at the end? i thought she wanted to run away w him? i have to admit i was moved by that little subplot, god knows why.

wanted to run away with a friend, she wouldn't let him kiss her before he left in that scene tho

This movie and Frozen II had interestingly similar “heroine vs. stormy sea” scenes... must be something in the water here in Burbank.

Btw, I didn’t get how the wreckage of the Death Star ended up on a different moon of Endor, when it was orbiting the Forest Moon... maybe the Rebels gave it a “push” or something.

Endor is the moon the planet is... whatever... also it did blowed up real good in Jedi so

she wouldn't let him kiss her before he left

incredible willpower imo

the mask does not come off

*composes reply*

*deletes reply*

maybe the helmet is her face and it just...does that

Ah, fsr I thought Endor was the main planet (tho even blowed-up wreckage should remain in orbit)

Come to think of it, this movie had several plot similarities w/Frozen II.

the forest moon of Endor. the forest moon is Endor. it’s all true, nobody bothered to address any of that in the original movie! it’s fine.

apparently the planet at the beginning of this one, where Kylo Ren is taking down a bunch of locals before finding the wayfinder? that’s mustafar, and the macguffin was in his grandpa’s stash. this was completely opaque in the movie

we were talking about that at a party last night. none of us knew it was supposed to be Mustafar.

what else was in his stache? do Sith ahve good doobage?

Yavin IV, eg

That’s funny, I fleetingly thought it looked like Mustafar, but promptly forgot about that whole scene.

apparently the visual dictionary for the movie has an entry for those locals

those books are pretty cool imo and have some cool story crafting when it comes to aliens planets

Ugh, now I sort of want to rewatch all 9 movies (not a productive feeling)

/Darth Vader’s son was a nobody; and probably would’ve remained a nobody, if Obi-Wan hadn’t lived nearby to keep an eye on him.

I ended up re-watching Revenge Of The Sith last night and if you could just mute 90% of Anakin, Padme and Obi-Wan's lines it's not horrendous.

Can I just in general say I find it insane to think that a ninth film in a nine-film series necessarily must repeat the structure of the sixth film, and should include lots of callbacks to films four through six in general. That really does not make narrative sense to me. In general, it was always nonsense that the saga should consist of three films about the fall of the republic, three films about rebels fighting an empire, and then three films that tells the exact same story as the earlier three films, but with one side called the resistance, and the other side called the first order. In hindsight, that was never going to feel like anything else than three extra films awkwardly grafted onto an already finished tale.

OBJECTION

the third film! the THIRD film!!

Lucas didn’t use a time machine to insert episodes 1 - 3 as films into the timeline in like, 1972 or something

the callbacks to the original trilogy aren’t trying to make two last episode blocks be similar, they’re explicitly meant to call back to something supposedly more authentic from a prior era

preceding 75 years of story time.

Well he was apparently born after Ep. III, and died well before Ep. VII; so there wasn’t a lot of opportunity for him to come up in the movies... unless Palpy had said to Vader during one of their holo-chats in Empire: “Ugh, my son is such a loser...”

(Haha, the Wookiepedia entry for Rey is now titled “Rey Skywalker”... that’s very, like, Wikipedia the day a celebrity announces a name change.)

my Darth Rey theory was not far off tbh

My post-concussion Palpatine head-canon:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhKaw-qIltM

i was very disappointed keri russell not only didn't take her helmet off but also didn't wear a wig, have a fake accent, and then have sex with someone then kill them.

real talk

I feel real dumb that i am just now realizing this. The Emperor not moving didn't really strike as weird cos he wasn't real ambulatory in the OG series.

I kept thinking he was sitting in a chair but didn't realize he was hooked up to what amounts to Jedi life support so he physically couldn't move at all and was probably pretty near death and only had enough left to use his power in bursts. So he needed a new vessel.

I knew he was weakened but not how much. So he figured ok guess I'll live on in Rey, but then when he used his power to force shove Rey and Kylo, he received life force due to their being a dyad in the force, and it restored a significant amount of his energy and he changed his mind and wanted to continue living in physical form and fuck everyone else. And then he got his force lightning power back.

Obv that was stated in the dialogue, but I guess I thought his powers were stronger prior to that and that he intentionally restrained himself during the final battle.

I'm hella dumb

s/Jedi/Sith

I wonder if an alternative way to get rid of him would have just been to use some lightsaber moves to disconnect him from his weird waldo rig

it did seem precarious

I was thinking maybe that would have made the sith horde come after her, but now that I think about it, they’re definitely the “if he can’t cut it, it means he’s not worthy” type by dogma

sith horde surely a pathetic rupert pupkin-esque cheering section that existed only in palpy’s mind

What an allegory.

Rey is predatory healthcare capitalism snuffing out the last breaths of an elder man with no insurance

Som... she's the baddie!

what if instead of blasting her with lightning he was just vaping bad fluid super hard at her and she's deflecting it into his face until his lungs melt

Hoist by his own pentard

I only know about this because of Oscar Isaac complaining about the straight-washing

Disney: Oscar stop it or our lawyers will be in contact

Oscar: let’s do it baby I know the lawpic.twitter.com/eFriPWp3g8

— general chloe 🌿 tros x2 (@chloeelake) December 22, 2019

lol Oscar Isaac otm

I don't care about Stucky or Finn/Poe but the attempts at introducing female love interests for any of these characters (Bucky aside) in their respective movies were so clumsy and half-hearted, the cinematic equivalents of "no homo".

Having rewatched TFA and TLJ, feel sad for Oscar Isaac, who started out playing Poe as a generous, loving person who sees the best in every man he meets and wants to have sex with him, and who ends up asking a woman in a helmet “Would you like to have a kiss like old times?”

— Angelo Muredda (@amuredda) December 23, 2019

aren't Rei, Finn, and Poe a thruple at the end though? Progress!

they've spent like 5 minutes together by the end of 3 movies

Am I the only person who thought that at the end when Maz sat down next to lonely-looking chewie and looked at him meaningfully that they were going to kiss?