CATS is closing!!

I always suspect that any movies that get 1 star P Bradshaw maulings must be actually good because he is irredeemably bad.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EMGwTgDUcAA_NWv?format=png&name=small

xp Bradshaw wrote his review in verse, which was... not a good idea

omg

really wanna see this even tho the show has like one good song, but it sounds like the tribute that Lloyd Webber - the Coke Years deserves

plus if this does decent business just imagine Starlight Express with a bunch of stars CGI'd into singing trains

Had zero interest in this until all the extreme negative reviews started pouring in

"It's CINEMA"
— Martin Scorsese

incidentally is it just me or is the left-hand margin borked on this thread?

yeah, idris elba's feline area has broken ilx

Has anybody applied a snapchat cat filter to an entire film yet? They should. I'd love to see The Irishman as all cats.

The whole thread has some weird font imposed upon it when viewed in IE.

Lotta reviewers really champing at the bit to use some variant on 'turns out this Cats movie is a real dog!'

If this is truly some kind of eldritch horror orgy film, I'm sure I'll enjoy it

rogue font and borked margin both caused in may 2002 by N. (aka Alba) posting some now-vanished picture related to the history of beercans

I have two words for the people responsible for Cats: go fish.

I couldn't bear to watch another thirty seconds of this grizzly cinematic massacre. No thanks, Cats!

A humpback whale of a bad time. Blow it out your hole, Cats!

I always suspect that any movies that get 1 star P Bradshaw maulings must be actually good because he is irredeemably bad.

This is IMO a pretty good guide in life, but I'm not sure about this one - I've already arranged to go see Star Wars drunk.

By getting drunk?

The whole thread has some weird font imposed upon it when viewed in IE.

did u just admit to using internet explorer in december 2019

Given my workplace's fanaticism for bleeding age tech, I just thank my lucky stars we aren't still using Netscape.

Bleeding edge, bleeding age, it's all the same to me.

i send all my posts via telegram

*adjusts steampunk goggles, dies*

That's also the last line of the Cats screenplay

T.S. Eliot invented steampunk, whoa

what did you think the "s" stood for?

yeah his full name was 'the steampunk eliot' iirc

THERE'S A CRANK TO SHUT THE WINDOW IF YOU SNEEZE

cranks are steampunk, case closed

Q: is Jason Derulo's digitally-erased crank steampunk

here's the cg workstation used for derulorasure, decide 4 yrself

https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse2.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.U0sp7mh-iSG2PkUteGzHfwHaE8%26pid%3DApi&f=1

xp it'll be addressed in the sequel

cats ii: the dept of crank yankers

One critic described proceedings as permanently on the brink of a sex party. Other reviewers were struck by Cats’ visual and tonal similarity to The Human Centipede, a horror film in which kidnap victims are stitched together mouth to anus.

Cats always feels like it’s two seconds away from turning into a furry orgy in a dumpster.

brb pitching my contrarian revisionist rave to sight and sound

50/50 chance Armond White is months ahead of you

'Cats is a jubilant celebration of the unspoken yet universal human desire to fuck a cat.' - Rex Reed

I've found myself wondering more than a few times since the trailer dropped whether this thing is a stealth recruitment video largely funded by the shadowy furry lobby. Because if so, it's working.

Oh weird, I just reloaded this thread and got the font problem for the first time.

I'm using safari and I see the different font, but it is not a problem, I kind of think this special thread deserves a special font.

this special thread deserves the https://www.ilxor.com/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?action=showall&boardid=60&threadid=2955 treatment

lmao at your post bumping that thread ulysses

holy shit, i just lost myself in that thread for ... what day is it?

Great thred

my gf really hates the uppers music as it means she needs to find my phone

Here's the one-two: FT's Nigel Andrews gives a positive review!

https://www.ft.com/content/cd836eb2-2180-11ea-b8a1-584213ee7b2b

...and then IMMEDIATELY RETIRES.

https://www.ft.com/content/d70957b2-20e5-11ea-b8a1-584213ee7b2b

All the best zings:

https://digg.com/2019/bad-reviews-cats-movie

Just had a -great- time reading those zings aloud to my partner - this one made her double over: “an approximation of what would happen if your third eye actually opened and you could suddenly see into the astral plane.”

There is a thin line between idiocy and genius, and Cats pukes a hairball on it and rubs its ass all over it.

A+

Best thread ever

Sounds like Sonic is really gonna have to deliver to top this one (I maintain hope that the 45 seconds of fan-pleasing reworked animation we've seen is all that they'll have the time to handle properly and that the remainder of the overhaul will somehow look even worse than the first trailer).