Re: Re: re: FW: Re:
Darraghmac, I am Out of the Office today, returning November 18th. Do I have to underline it for you? Not sure I can make it more clear than that. Long weekend, heavy week coming up, I'm not in the mood. Please contact Darraghmac.
― Peaceful Warrior I Poser (Karl Malone)
hi karl
if you could underline it, that would be great!
really appreciate it
― Banáná hÉireann (darraghmac)
I am Out of the Office today, returning November 18th
― Peaceful Warrior I Poser (Karl Malone), Monday, 16 December 2019 15:35 (four years ago) link
christ but i wish we still had lotus notes
rhonda was a whiz with lotus notes
;_;
― Banáná hÉireann (darraghmac), Monday, 16 December 2019 15:42 (four years ago) link
Hi! This is Kathy, your NEW virtual assistant! Is there anything I can help you with?
― sarahell, Monday, 16 December 2019 17:52 (four years ago) link
Rhonda!? What did Kathy do to you?!!?
― Peaceful Warrior I Poser (Karl Malone), Monday, 16 December 2019 18:02 (four years ago) link
Hi Karl, it seems like you want me to contact Rhonda. <clicking noises> I am sorry, but there is no one by that name currently active in the company directory.
Is there anything else I can help you with?
― sarahell, Monday, 16 December 2019 18:41 (four years ago) link
Karl Malone is Out of the Office today, returning November 18th. If you have any urgent concerns, especially about Operation Dennis, please contact Darraghmac
― Peaceful Warrior I Poser (Karl Malone), Monday, 16 December 2019 18:55 (four years ago) link
Hi Karl,
it seems like you want to let people know that you are out of the office!
Would you like me to set up an autoresponder for you?
― sarahell, Monday, 16 December 2019 19:02 (four years ago) link
Kathy, I don't know where you got that idea, I'm definitely in the office! Last vacation I took was mid-November, 2018.
― Peaceful Warrior I Poser (Karl Malone), Monday, 16 December 2019 19:05 (four years ago) link
it seems like you want me to search for where to get ideas?
Is that correct?
― sarahell, Monday, 16 December 2019 19:06 (four years ago) link
REPRESENTATIVE!
― Peaceful Warrior I Poser (Karl Malone), Monday, 16 December 2019 19:07 (four years ago) link
I didn't quite get that! Are you looking for representative ideas?
― sarahell, Monday, 16 December 2019 19:08 (four years ago) link
RHONDA!!!
― Peaceful Warrior I Poser (Karl Malone), Monday, 16 December 2019 19:09 (four years ago) link
Here are the results of the search I helped you with.
..Googlerepresentative
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― sarahell, Monday, 16 December 2019 19:10 (four years ago) link
This is Kathy again. Could you do me a favor and let me know on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being least useful and 10 being exactly what you were looking for, whether my search assistance was useful to supporting you in your work?
― sarahell, Monday, 16 December 2019 19:11 (four years ago) link
RE: FW: FW: Re: Out of Office
― Peaceful Warrior I Poser (Karl Malone), Monday, 16 December 2019 19:11 (four years ago) link
Kathy, call my wife please
― Banáná hÉireann (darraghmac), Monday, 16 December 2019 19:47 (four years ago) link
A colleague of yours has requested my assistance. As your virtual assistant, I will need your permission before assisting your colleague. Please let me know if I can help you by helping your colleague.
Best,Kathy
― sarahell, Monday, 16 December 2019 20:13 (four years ago) link
Everybody is fired effective last year
― 100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Monday, 16 December 2019 20:32 (four years ago) link
imago, my office, now.
― Banáná hÉireann (darraghmac), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 13:44 (four years ago) link
AUTOMATED REPLY
imago is out of the house from 9am Wednesday 18 Dec until 9pm Wednesday 18 Dec and doesn't have facebook messenger on his phone, so may be unable to respond during these hours
for urgent enquiries he is also available by email, firstname dot lastname at the usual
Imago Industries 51 Flag Post Lane ME1 7BY
― imago, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:25 (four years ago) link
That postcode looks Tory to me 🤔
― xyzzzz__, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:29 (four years ago) link
Howdy everybody! This is Rhonda! I am back from vacation -- or shall I say, yaycation? Anyhoo, I wanted y'all to have a heads up that Jan in Purchasing just let me know that we no longer have a contract with Imago Industries due to various .... irregularities ... so, any person or persons representing themselves as being from that entity are no longer allowed in the buildings, parking structures, or within 50 feet of any official company signage. Yee-haw!!!
Warmest Regards Y'all,Rhonda!
― sarahell, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 20:05 (four years ago) link
👀👀
― Banáná hÉireann (darraghmac), Saturday, 21 December 2019 00:20 (four years ago) link
― Banáná hÉireann (darraghmac), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 13:44 (four days ago) bookmarkflaglink
― Banáná hÉireann (darraghmac), Sunday, 22 December 2019 14:55 (four years ago) link
Got him good today
― xyzzzz__, Sunday, 22 December 2019 14:56 (four years ago) link
pants down and all
― Bublé in the changer, I wish I was dead (Neanderthal), Sunday, 22 December 2019 15:08 (four years ago) link
just imago, pls folks
and HR
― Banáná hÉireann (darraghmac), Sunday, 22 December 2019 15:14 (four years ago) link
Neanderthal,
This is Rhonda. I would just like to remind you that we operate in a shame-free workplace culture where we do not comment on our colleagues' attire (or lack thereof). If you have a concern about whether your colleague choice of pants or pantslessness is appropriate for the workplace, please communicate that privately to me, your superior, or leave a message in our Peoplenet-powered inbox, using the Peoplenet platform, that according to my records, you received several trainings in how to use. If you did not, in fact, attend the Peoplenet trainings, this is a separate HR issue.
Warmest Regards,Rhonda
― sarahell, Sunday, 22 December 2019 21:33 (four years ago) link
Dear Rhonda,
It's only fair that you, too, should see the following email. It's been lingering in my spam folder for weeks:
She was gonna be my wifeAnd I was gonna be her man(Oh Rhonda)But she let another guy come between usAnd it shattered our plans(Oh Rhonda)
Please advise.
Kind regards,
László
― pomenitul, Sunday, 22 December 2019 22:15 (four years ago) link
Laszlo,
In Module 2 of the Peoplenet platform training, which it appears you were not present for, correspondence like this should be reported, assigned a trouble ticket (TroTick) number, and uploaded to the Peoplenet HR inbox. That is, if this correspondence came from, or appeared to originate from an internal email. If it did not, and you are unable to follow the protocols for deletion of spam, then please see Mr. Dmac in IT for guidance.
― sarahell, Sunday, 22 December 2019 23:36 (four years ago) link
Attention Appreciated Colleagues,
It has come to my attention that we have experienced a significant lack of attendance at the mandatory Peoplenet training sessions for our new Peoplenet interdepartmental communications platform. I feel compelled to remind you that we all need to integrate with Peoplenet, because Peoplenet Is Made Out of People!
― sarahell, Sunday, 22 December 2019 23:43 (four years ago) link
you aren't Rhonda
― Banáná hÉireann (darraghmac), Monday, 23 December 2019 00:01 (four years ago) link
darragh would like to recall: Re: PeopleNet attendance
― But guess what? Nobody gives a toot!😂 (Karl Malone), Monday, 23 December 2019 00:17 (four years ago) link
Fuck you all!
I got a job at Dicks Last Resort.
Here is a picture of my dingus.
Attachment: Neanersweiner.png
― Bublé in the changer, I wish I was dead (Neanderthal), Monday, 23 December 2019 00:27 (four years ago) link
Hey guys, just checking in from my vacation and — JFC, someone call HR
― But guess what? Nobody gives a toot!😂 (Karl Malone), Monday, 23 December 2019 00:31 (four years ago) link
I STILL HAVE EMAIL PRIVILEGES FOR A FEW MINUTES.
I HAVE A CONFESSION
I HID THREE DEAD RATS SOMEWHERE IN THE OFFICE
― Bublé in the changer, I wish I was dead (Neanderthal), Monday, 23 December 2019 00:33 (four years ago) link
I just...from the CEO, it seems like a bad example, that’s all I’m saying. Rhonda, can you go ahead and start the firing process? Let HR know it was darrahgmac’s idea, please.
― But guess what? Nobody gives a toot!😂 (Karl Malone), Monday, 23 December 2019 01:00 (four years ago) link
typo, I meant dmac
― But guess what? Nobody gives a toot!😂 (Karl Malone), Monday, 23 December 2019 01:02 (four years ago) link
?
― Banáná hÉireann (darraghmac), Friday, 27 December 2019 01:17 (four years ago) link
meow
― totally unnecessary bewbz of exploitation (DJP), Friday, 27 December 2019 13:16 (four years ago) link
What’s a t-roll?
― pomenitul, Friday, 27 December 2019 13:24 (four years ago) link
meow meow
― totally unnecessary bewbz of exploitation (DJP), Friday, 27 December 2019 13:25 (four years ago) link
a new challenger has appeared
― Banáná hÉireann (darraghmac), Friday, 27 December 2019 13:52 (four years ago) link
on a related note
did the "meow" reflex response exist before super troopers
theres a moment in cats and dogs (great movie btw) where our villain breaks down into paroxysms of delight at his own genius and it turns into a proto-meow reflex
but was it out there before that
im sure ive told the story where i was in the middle of a disastrous interview for a job before and was getting in so little between the holding forth of the interviewer on his own brilliance that i started to play the meow game, to my own growing horror as i realised that i couldnt rly stop once id started.
― Banáná hÉireann (darraghmac), Friday, 27 December 2019 13:55 (four years ago) link
― Banáná hÉireann (darraghmac), Monday, 30 December 2019 20:31 (four years ago) link
imago
― Banáná hÉireann (darraghmac), Friday, 10 January 2020 15:37 (four years ago) link
office re dennis at once pls
Hey did you hear imago saw someone die in the lunchroom and they're trying to coordinate his statement with authorities?
CC: All
― papa stank (Neanderthal), Friday, 10 January 2020 15:56 (four years ago) link
snoball runs into conference room
― Banáná hÉireann (darraghmac), Friday, 10 January 2020 16:22 (four years ago) link