Ne'er get thee stitched til Booris be ditched: UK General Election 2019

surprising how often judgedeath.jpg seems relevant itt

I remember my sixth form had a mock election in 1997 and the results were something like

50% Socialist Labour
25% "The Silly Party"
20% Labour (Including a fox hunting girl from my politics class, the Labour MP we elected irl introduced the hunting with dogs act lol)
5% Lib Dems
0.1%, literally just the candidate, Conservatives

This is in Worcester, currently a tory seat, wonder how many of those now-40-to-42-year-olds turned out to be scum

we'll find out soon enough!

Wishing you all the best today, I hope you are able pull back on the stick enough to steer into something more like a mild heckscape.

Puppers can't vote tho.

Well well what do we have here:

Apparently lots of polling stations in Tory seats are insisting you bring ID to vote.

1. This is total bollocks. You DO NOT need ID

2. This is totally illegal

Get out there & vote TODAY! #GE2019

— Ben #VoteLabour (@BenJolly9) December 12, 2019

This is in Worcester, currently a tory seat, wonder how many of those now-40-to-42-year-olds turned out to be scum

a depressingly high number of them I would imagine. Worcester and indeed the whole county of Worcestershire is Tory as fuck

I only ever voted once in Worcester, which was the 1997 election that got the city its first ever Labour MP (the one that kicked off the fox hunting ban). he lasted 13 years now the current Tory MP is the son of the guy who was Tory MP for Worcester from 1961-1992.

looooooooool pic.twitter.com/sRZIA4VA7h

— tyron, the creator (@TyronWilson) December 12, 2019

I doubt it re Tory ID demands but this has probably been their dirtiest campaign so far so

Just voted for myself. Something Corbyn’s candidate cannot do as he does not live in Ilford South. pic.twitter.com/WOI4Zo0Q7b

— Mike Gapes (@MikeGapes) December 12, 2019

whoever is on the account today is clearly enjoying themselves

Vote Labour.

That’s it. That’s the tweet.

— Jeremy Corbyn (@jeremycorbyn) December 12, 2019

Can't shake the feeling of gloom tbh - can't help thinking of all those fat, ugly morons in the Midlands who'll be voting for Boris because he's a character.

i'm sure some of them have a healthy bmi tbf

Hope Not Body-shaming

Finally got out of the office, off to Battersea for a spot of GOTV, then to Colliers Wood to help my mum to the polling station, then pick up some angostura bitters on the way home to see how many manhattans it takes for my girlfriend to start shouting FUCK OFF LAURA CUNTSBERG at the telly. Still feeling reasonably chipper at the moment, though the dread is creeping closer...

Don’t forget you can also use those bitters in various sauces to great effect & well done for helping get out the vote in Battersea! I’d just read they needed help.

And a pleasure to see ⁦@EmmaKennedy⁩ at the polling station! pic.twitter.com/bsRG84zOxx

— Michael Gove (@michaelgove) December 12, 2019

oh what i wouldn't give for the chance to launch just one well-placed cruise missile

Sharon, I’ve just spent the past 3 months trying to take him down. A moment of hilarity won’t kill us

— Emma Kennedy (@EmmaKennedy) December 12, 2019

i'll be the judge of that thx

Get it up ya Ferry

Just sent *Brian Eno* out with a list of doors to knock on for @emmadentcoad and @UKLabour. What a legend.

— Phineas Harper (@PhinHarper) December 12, 2019

and one the day that i listened to eno/cale's wrong way up for the first time too

(don't @ me, i don't know how i overlooked it for the last 29 years and i'm sorry alright)

how does "publicly whining about Corbyn" count as trying to bring down a Tory?

she has apparently campaigned for the libdem in her / gove's constituency. can't imagine she would take a chummy photo with corbyn though.

Eno: first house he finds with a dual chime doorbell and he's stuck there for half an hour

Hope Eno emphasises repetitions, doesn't take breaks, reminds people not to be afraid of things because they're easy to do, and asks people to work against their better judgement without giving the game away tbh

xp 100%

honour your mistake as a hidden intention to vote labour

oh ffs

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ELlqTcZXsAEiSmh?format=jpg&name=900x900

she has apparently campaigned for the libdem in her / gove's constituency.

my point stands :)

good luck uk!!!

some guy turned up at work today wearing smart red trousers. never seen him wear them before. can't tell whether he's telling us to vote labour or if he's just a massive tory

Candidates in this election received abuse or insulting remarks in 16.5% of mentions or replies about them on Twitter, a snapshot analysis has found.

PoliMonitor, supported by a grant from the Joseph Rowntree Reform Trust, analysed 139,564 Tweets referencing the 2,503 candidates on the social networking site published on Monday 11th November 2019 referencing.. It found that 23,039 were abusive.

By contrast, analysis on abuse received by candidates in the 2017 General Election by the University of Sheffield found that approximately 4% of Tweets mentioning candidates were abusive, although as the methodology is different, the results are not directly comparable.

Other findings of the PoliMonitor research were:

The three party leaders received the most abuse, with Boris Johnson the most targeted, followed by Jeremy Corbyn and then Jo Swinson.
Most of the abuse was concentrated amongst 150 candidates who received 96% of the abuse. In all, 515 received abuse and 1988 (79%) did not.
Of the top 30 most abused candidates in the 24 hour period, only three were not incumbent MPs at the time the election was called: Richard Tice (Brexit party), George Galloway (Independent) and Liz Jarvis (Lib Dems).
Female candidates received slightly more abusive Tweets compared to Male candidates, 17.3% vs 16.2%, with many directed towards women based on appearance and gender.

Concerns were raised before the election at the number of MPs - particularly women - standing down with many citing abuse, including cabinet minister Nicky Morgan and Heidi Allen, the former Conservative MP who defected to the Liberal Democrats via Change UK. The shadow home secretary, Diane Abbott who was found by a previous study to be subject to nearly half the abusive tweets sent to female MP, was sixth in the PoliMonitor list of politicians receiving the most abuse, behind Michael Gove (Conservatives) and Caroline Lucas (Green party).

Sam Cunningham, CEO of PoliMonitor, said:

While most candidates received little or no abuse, the most prominent candidates received thousands of abusive messages, deterring politicians from having constructive conversations about policies which matter. For some, this abuse is deterring them from taking part in politics altogether.

More positively, the most extremely abusive terms were absent in the data analysed, suggesting social media companies and the public are getting better at stamping out the most abhorrent and unacceptable language.

RATM 2020 tour (little mix co-headlining):

📍Gower to Lewes (5/9)#VoteAgainstTheMachine #GE2019 #GetTheToriesOut pic.twitter.com/g15X5qNYMz

— RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE (@RATM) December 12, 2019

we don't need luck, we have gapes

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ELlVYP8XYAEVwbz?format=jpg&name=4096x4096

the grauniad is bad again

The Guardian: Come for the headline stay for the article pic.twitter.com/vzolKqk0s1

— Dave |🌹vote🌹| (@ChaosDave69) December 12, 2019

was in Crawley yesterday and nobody's seen any Conservatives out and about. one street had three houses w/ Tory placards but it turned out they were all owned by the same landlord.

— Andrew Thomas (@andi_thomas) December 12, 2019

the weather is distressingly filthy round here

xp classic landlord move

I was trying to find the old Chinese communist song about taking away the landlord's stick and beating him with it, but eh probably should get on with work instead.

and actually my current landlord is a nice portuguese guy

My landlady is really good too. Oh the vagaries of the rental market!

you can find a nice leech from time to time

Take your mind off the election with this Mario level I made. #GE2109 pic.twitter.com/jb5xPCZgXa

— Matthew Highton (@MattHighton) December 11, 2019

some guy turned up at work today wearing smart red trousers. never seen him wear them before. can't tell whether he's telling us to vote labour or if he's just a massive tory

I got dressed in the dark this morning and to my horror I realised on the train that my shirt is mostly blue

No coverage of front pages on BBC news page because rules.

Daily mail goes with "Vote Boris, because Maureen Lipman says so"

how’s the low level dread everyone

The front pages weren’t up to their previous game this election, but I guess they didn’t have to be when nobody was observing broadcasting rules

oh god i've just seen Jamie Carragher doing a vote Labour vid, sorry i must reluctantly vote Tory.

Whats wrong with Carra?

God I just realised that the Tories are going to win Derby North because a minority of stupid twats will rally round Chris Williamson.

well amongst other things

A few weeks later I received a phone call. “You won’t believe this, Jay. We’re in the Trafford Centre and Lucas Neill is walking straight towards us. What do you reckon?”

Did I really want Neill to take a crack? “There’s only one problem,” added the voice. “Little Davey Thommo is with him.”

That was that. I could hardly let one of my best mates, David Thompson, now a Blackburn player, become a witness to an assault. Besides he’d have recognised the attackers. The impromptu mission was aborted and I sent a text to Thommo telling him Neill should give him a hug of thanks.

As word got back to Blackburn about the near miss, or should that be hit, their coach Terry Darracott, a Scouser, appealed to one of my friends to call the boys off. I agreed.

me attempting to parse this post

https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Freactiongifs.me%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2014%2F06%2Freading-ikea-intructions-big-lebowski-confused.gif&f=1&nofb=1