Ne'er get thee stitched til Booris be ditched: UK General Election 2019

These are all in London, aren't they?

my daughter robbed me of three and a half hours of sleep last night, so i'm hoping that being knackered today already combined with an hour of furious exercise while fantasising about boris being mutilated in a series of hilarious industrial accidents will be enough to get me to sleep tonight, all the better to awake refreshed in a new and better world tomorrow

[CUT TO: me angrily posting at 2:30am]

interesting thing in this election is it lays bare how little theorising about 'political' music bears any relation to the politics of the artist. Emeli Sandé, purveyor of apparently Cameron-era 'New Boring' music, is soundtracking lab vids while The 1975 sit on their hands

— Sean (@seanbgoneill) December 12, 2019

Labour.

— Jeremy Corbyn (@jeremycorbyn) December 12, 2019

(Corbz account is also RTing all the responses to this that just say “Labour.” lol)

jeremy otm

rest assured gyac that the cats will be pestered for comfort tonight

No LD in my safe Labour seat but we still had both UKIP and BXP running. 5 minute queue (saw the same at the next nearest station). 1 dog. 3 people joking about the dog getting a vote.

Do we get a new thread tonight?

jeremy otm

rest assured gyac that the cats will be pestered for comfort tonight

Paul Gascoigne giving an owl a ride on a bicycle pic.twitter.com/8LySE2AoJA

— Footballers with animals (@ftbllrswanimals) December 10, 2019

I have steady low-lying anxiety. Gonna vote this afternoon before I meet up with my son. See the kids, then round to a friend's for the results, drinks and snacks, consolation hugs. Maybe not drinks. Tomorrow's gonna be a hard day to face straight, either way, but it's the last ep of Name of the Rose tomorrow night and that's something to look forward to - have been amused by its sly commentary on pan-europeanism

I'm probably not going to stay up late, my constituency doesn't declare til 3:30 which is probably too late given I'm working tomorrow. However I will almost certainly be drunk so I may not consider that important at the time

corbyn out here straight-up admitting that marxist indoctrination begins at birth, shameful stuff from britain's most dangerous man

Watch till the end.#VoteLabourToday pic.twitter.com/Y1TufFQpie

— Jeremy Corbyn (@jeremycorbyn) December 12, 2019

in "others standing" in hackney south and shoreditch: jonty leff of the workers' revolutionary party (he got 86 votes in 2017)

https://static-candidates.democracyclub.org.uk/media/cache/08/52/0852399928c5ba4ac8d5b8f606160b87.jpg

recent picture (he's 74)

avoiding hard graft will keep you youthful looking like Jonty :p

just seen someone posting about how their local foodbank doubles as a polling station. They should do that everywhere.

the snake-god glycon compels u to vote labour

📣 EXCLUSIVE! 📺 WATCH: ALAN MOORE KNOWS THE SCORE - perhaps Northampton's most famous resident, writer and anarchist, Alan Moore speaks about why he is voting Labour. 🌹🗳@BBCNorthampton @Craig_Lewis77 @ChronandEcho @JAverillJourno @UKLabour @jeremycorbyn pic.twitter.com/VxgWo8bv0P

— Northampton South Labour Party (@Npton_South_CLP) December 11, 2019

AA keeping his cards close to his chest here:

Last night of the UK tour for FRIEND OR FOE tonight at the O2 Academy in Brixton.
See you all there! pic.twitter.com/MBKoBrmeul

— Adam Ant (@adamaofficial) December 12, 2019

hey uhh what the fuck is this

The Lib Dems are distributing leaflets suggesting Labour have pulled out of Chelsea & Fulham. It is total nonsense. Please RT so everyone knows pic.twitter.com/ywkFSUHNJg

— Owen Jones🌹 (@OwenJones84) December 12, 2019

WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER GULAG

be funny as fuck if they were reduced to single digit seats by tomorrow, just by people getting so hacked off with their persistent lying.

powerful hostage-video energy from the big man here

Your Choice today #GE2019 #GeneralElection2019 pic.twitter.com/3GBRvjrEU1

— Mike Gapes (@MikeGapes) December 12, 2019

critical support for the tiniest threat of all: AC/DC fan dmitry medvedev (also for the graphic designer of this image)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ELlTDDYXsAAkegX?format=jpg

Encouraged to see the important Steve Albini and Caroline Calloway endorsements rolling in as well.

Vladimir Zhirinovsky has announced he’s supporting the Tories though, so it’s not going all our way.

my sources say that ritualistic Masonic punishment being considered for Kuenssberg & Peston if they’ve failed to deliver a Tory majority. I am anti-Mason and take no pleasure in reporting this

— ian ‘vote labour’ mighty (@iammightor) December 12, 2019

i don't think i've mentioned it itt yet but my brexit-fanatic, self-described 'to the right of genghis khan' father-in-law, who is an actual high-ranking mason, is staying with us this week so tonight is likely to be fuckin' lit whatever happens

Senior mason strongly objects to secretive unelected organisation with undue influence shocker

Alan Moore is from Northampton?

no rush with these late Corbyn endorsements lads, don't worry it isn't time critical or anything.

Alan Moore is from Northampton?

i believe this is the first time he's ever mentioned it

rip to a real one

My dad was disabled.
On polling day, he’d call the Conservative party office on great western street & they’d give him a lift to the polling station where he’d religiously vote Labour.
Then, he’d get them to drop him at the parkside pub on lloyd st in Moss Side.
I miss him a lot

— Mike Garry (@mikegarry) December 12, 2019

going to enjoy the gleeful feeling online today one last time before we descend into the brexit hellscape at 10

oh god i've just seen Jamie Carragher doing a vote Labour vid, sorry i must reluctantly vote Tory.

hell yes

London aquarium’s gender-neutral penguin just predicted Jeremy Corbyn will win the election https://t.co/4L5EPYgCdb

— PinkNews (@PinkNews) December 11, 2019

it couldn't happen, could it?

Uxbridge and South Ruislip, constituency voting intention:

CON: 45% (-6)
LAB: 44% (+4)
LDEM: 3% (-1)
GRN: 2% (=)
OTH: 4% (+1)

via @DeltaPollUK, 06 - 10 Dec
Chgs w/GE2017

— Britain EIects (@brianeIects) December 10, 2019

unfortunately it's fake

ugh sorry for fake news!

here is another tweet

It comes to something when even former Conservative grandees - people we rightly criticised for their inhumane, self-serving and incompetent policies - can see the terrible moral decline of the present leadership and feel obliged to speak out against the oh wait no it's Cameron https://t.co/zU1yRWuzoV

— Adam Banks (@adambanksdotcom) December 12, 2019

my beloved* shropshire star runs a piece on winter elections down the centuries:

"As a matter of interest among the election antics in the village of Worthen were the homes of Conservatives being daubed with Liberal Party colours, and two white cows being painted red, while Tory supporters were at it as well, smearing blue paint on pigs belonging to local Liberals."

*it's idiotic trash but i love it**
**big ad for labour when i click through -- unexpectedly, tho shrewsbury and atcham has been labour before, via serially floorcrossing anti-war MP paul marsden (97-05), tho currently it's tory, via tallest MP in history daniel kawczynski (also first MP to be born in poland)

Report from ultra-marginal Canterbury.

At 1130, on my 10 min walk to the polling station, I walked past several groups of Labour activists, out door knocking. Never seen this before.

At polling station - a queue of 30+

In GE17, there was NO queue.

Something is happening.

— Dr Moderate (@centrist_phone) December 12, 2019

controlled explosion of device in north lanarkshire polling station

red centrist telephone is mi5 psyop confirmed

CORRECTION (sorry, 110% isn't a thing)

My probability estimate is

Scenario 1 (small Con majority): 10%
Scenario 2 (paralysis): 40%
Scenario 3 (Lab minority govt): 45%
Scenario 4 (Lab largest party): 5%

REAL END

— Dr Moderate (@centrist_phone) December 11, 2019

i believe this is the first time he's ever mentioned it

Chinaski was taking Zack Snyder’s statements on the matter as definitive previously

i think you mean 'visionary director zack snyder'

I feel like my head's in a fucking vice 👍

Queues at universities in Canterbury & Lincoln (both marginals), good work students, keep it up

Good luck uk

Can't vote, nor can my wife (which didn't prevent the brexit party from sending her a leaflet).

Did shout "good luck!" at labour canvassers I passed on the street.

Good Luck UK, hopefully see you in the next thread.

guardian liveblog reminding me that one factor in the big early turnout could be people just not wanting to go out after work in the dark - maybe it's just how it is for a winter election?