Ne'er get thee stitched til Booris be ditched: UK General Election 2019

lol at Johnson not voting for himself.

So… first results at 10 pm?

Hahaha please lose to Ali Milano by a single vote!

That fur colour tho.

xp

Had to be a plant, I knew it all along.

10pm: The exit poll
11pm: Early results
Midnight
1am – 2am: Tory target seats
2am: Brexit Party, Portillo moment? … and Putney
3am – 4am: The ‘red wall’, Portillo moments? … and SNP v Labour
4.30am: Is the Prime Minister safe?
5-7am: Labour in dreamland, another Portillo moment? … and the independents
7am: A new day?
8am: lolwereallgonnadie

xp to pom

(from here https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/dec/12/what-time-will-we-know-who-won-hour-by-hour-election-night-guide)

Thanks, that's very thorough and, I assume, reliably prophetic.

When you see Spurs fans liking Arsenal tweets 👀

Young people across the world have a chance to change what the future can be. Today's the chance for all the British people to influence what your future & those living here holds. #FuckBoris #GoVote pic.twitter.com/epHbI3sdNw

— Héctor Bellerín (@HectorBellerin) December 12, 2019

Do we know what tartan JC's scarf is?

I fear so, too. I'll be sure to be in dreamland before the R3d W4ll comes down.

Time the Tories will actually overtake Labour on counted seats: was around 4am last time but oddly more like 6am in 2015 iirc

If Heccy's tweet riles up Piers Morgan it's all been worth it.

Disgusting flasher here

Dawn raid done ✅
Let’s get Brexit done! 🇬🇧 #VoteConservativesActually pic.twitter.com/fGWpwKHKC8

— Ben Brittain (@BenABrittain) December 12, 2019

Hope they interview Emily Thornberry after the exit polls

Just a reminder that Bellerin and Coyrbn have previous

Jeremy Corbyn 'spoke in Spanish with Arsenal star Hector Bellerin to exclude Piers Morgan' https://t.co/N5vH5otHW4

— The Independent (@Independent) September 19, 2017

Whilst out on the campaign trail, @jeremycorbyn has been wearing a scarf that we gave to him.

Whilst he was explaining what it meant to him today, someone interrupted and took the focus away from Care Experienced people.

Comment from our CEO, Duncan Dunlop, on today's events: pic.twitter.com/zULizyqaSR

— Who Cares? Scotland (@whocaresscot) November 13, 2019

Ah! I love too see that! re Bellerin

excluding piers morgan is praxis

As a symbol of the election I've been stuck on a train for the last 2 and a half hours, 20 minutes into an hour and 45 minute journey

fuck, owned

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/78928741_10220513802772358_1743013164552814592_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&_nc_ohc=AuDssvbJHNcAQnh9smVep1ngNI1IHihpaLtXjhflv5_57JXJDTmTVhwpg&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&oh=0f2708051423a6edf0630f16c4f6c161&oe=5E7BAF18

Whoa, I imagine you're literally shaking rn.

xpost
Thank you gyac!

The biggest queue I’ve ever seen at my polling station! Get out there and vote people! #GE2109 #iVoted #BeAVoter #clapham pic.twitter.com/BjXunRqbKe

— Kelly Molloy (@sparklysparkly) December 12, 2019

wtf! are they giving a can a mackeston stout for every corbyn vote* or something.

* these are obv labour voters cos tory ones travel on horseback and wear gold top hats.

These are all in London, aren't they?

aye, you probably won't see the same scenes in Grimsby, unless an offal truck sheds it's load and starts a feeding frenzy!

mr johnson, you may sell off our nhs, condemn us to death by climate disaster and turn our homeless into soylent green, but you'll never defeat our desire to queue

realising that a thing i am patiently happy to do these days is stand silent while a voting worker super-carefully and kindly and helpfully talks me through the entire process: a single cross with a pencil, pencils over there (indicates booths), fold and slip in ballot box etc.

polling station is sutton house, built by thomas cromwell's henchman ralph sadleir in 1535 = the year i was born

as in previous years i will be IN BED and i hope FAST ASLEEP by 10, doing important non-jinxing work by not watching TV or reading my stupid phone* (last night i dremt i was involved in a joint book project with billie eilish, except i was lost in the barbican trying to find the first important meeting -- maybe i will salvage matters tonight, this seems like a good project to work on next year)

*i did attempt this in 2017 but (shameful fess-up time) i peaked around 10.05, to spot tracer posting "OMG mark is missing this!" -- tonight i hope to be firmer with myself

Braved the drizzle to vote Lammy Party, you know what I think the lad's in with a shout this time around

These are all in London, aren't they?

my daughter robbed me of three and a half hours of sleep last night, so i'm hoping that being knackered today already combined with an hour of furious exercise while fantasising about boris being mutilated in a series of hilarious industrial accidents will be enough to get me to sleep tonight, all the better to awake refreshed in a new and better world tomorrow

[CUT TO: me angrily posting at 2:30am]

interesting thing in this election is it lays bare how little theorising about 'political' music bears any relation to the politics of the artist. Emeli Sandé, purveyor of apparently Cameron-era 'New Boring' music, is soundtracking lab vids while The 1975 sit on their hands

— Sean (@seanbgoneill) December 12, 2019

Labour.

— Jeremy Corbyn (@jeremycorbyn) December 12, 2019

(Corbz account is also RTing all the responses to this that just say “Labour.” lol)

jeremy otm

rest assured gyac that the cats will be pestered for comfort tonight

No LD in my safe Labour seat but we still had both UKIP and BXP running. 5 minute queue (saw the same at the next nearest station). 1 dog. 3 people joking about the dog getting a vote.

Do we get a new thread tonight?

jeremy otm

rest assured gyac that the cats will be pestered for comfort tonight

Paul Gascoigne giving an owl a ride on a bicycle pic.twitter.com/8LySE2AoJA

— Footballers with animals (@ftbllrswanimals) December 10, 2019

I have steady low-lying anxiety. Gonna vote this afternoon before I meet up with my son. See the kids, then round to a friend's for the results, drinks and snacks, consolation hugs. Maybe not drinks. Tomorrow's gonna be a hard day to face straight, either way, but it's the last ep of Name of the Rose tomorrow night and that's something to look forward to - have been amused by its sly commentary on pan-europeanism

I'm probably not going to stay up late, my constituency doesn't declare til 3:30 which is probably too late given I'm working tomorrow. However I will almost certainly be drunk so I may not consider that important at the time

corbyn out here straight-up admitting that marxist indoctrination begins at birth, shameful stuff from britain's most dangerous man

Watch till the end.#VoteLabourToday pic.twitter.com/Y1TufFQpie

— Jeremy Corbyn (@jeremycorbyn) December 12, 2019

in "others standing" in hackney south and shoreditch: jonty leff of the workers' revolutionary party (he got 86 votes in 2017)

https://static-candidates.democracyclub.org.uk/media/cache/08/52/0852399928c5ba4ac8d5b8f606160b87.jpg

recent picture (he's 74)

avoiding hard graft will keep you youthful looking like Jonty :p

just seen someone posting about how their local foodbank doubles as a polling station. They should do that everywhere.

the snake-god glycon compels u to vote labour

📣 EXCLUSIVE! 📺 WATCH: ALAN MOORE KNOWS THE SCORE - perhaps Northampton's most famous resident, writer and anarchist, Alan Moore speaks about why he is voting Labour. 🌹🗳@BBCNorthampton @Craig_Lewis77 @ChronandEcho @JAverillJourno @UKLabour @jeremycorbyn pic.twitter.com/VxgWo8bv0P

— Northampton South Labour Party (@Npton_South_CLP) December 11, 2019

AA keeping his cards close to his chest here:

Last night of the UK tour for FRIEND OR FOE tonight at the O2 Academy in Brixton.
See you all there! pic.twitter.com/MBKoBrmeul

— Adam Ant (@adamaofficial) December 12, 2019

hey uhh what the fuck is this

The Lib Dems are distributing leaflets suggesting Labour have pulled out of Chelsea & Fulham. It is total nonsense. Please RT so everyone knows pic.twitter.com/ywkFSUHNJg

— Owen Jones🌹 (@OwenJones84) December 12, 2019

WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER GULAG

be funny as fuck if they were reduced to single digit seats by tomorrow, just by people getting so hacked off with their persistent lying.