star wars 9 grim resignation thread

TBH, the Ewoks don't even factor into my general ROTJ disfavor. I just think it's pretty rickety overall, kind of a victim of sequel-itis. No one is going to take me at all seriously after I make this point (in the way that you all have previously) but the first two Police Academy movies are kinda fun and funny in a garbage-y sorta way and they have their own thing going on, and then the third is just this tired pile of bloat with recycled jokes from the earlier installments and half-drawn characters from the earlier installments (look, I'm not pretending it's high art) turning into full-blown caricatures who spout catchphrases instead of trading dialogue. That's what ROTJ feels like to me. Water treading.

the moment when ROTJ falls apart for me is when Luke and Vader just take a bit of a stroll and chat about the dark side, etc. Until that moment Vader had meant total danger, high alert, kill or be killed. It all dissipates.

My Dinner with Darth

That, but not the scene where he reaches out to Luke at the end of Empire?

Or when they tenderly hug after the space battle in ANH?

when he “reaches out” to Luke is probably the most blistering scene in the entire set of movies - Luke’s had his hand cut off, is rage-crying in shock and fear

i liked Star Wars a lot more before the internet.

The hippyish idea that being open to the darkside must mean being open to the light, that even this (amazingly well built-up) terrifying threat is open to change if approached correctly, is pretty crucial to the Trilogy imo - it's not a flaw.

struggling to think of anything i didn't like a lot more before the internet tbh

Without the internet, I might never have known that unqualified enjoyment of anything is bad + wrong.

this is why I'm not an old millenial -- I existed for quite a while before the internet but I didn't like any of it

reality is shit and cyberspace is god imo

mh irl

https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fconsequenceofsound.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F12%2Flawnmower-man.jpeg%3Fquality%3D80&f=1&nofb=1

https://brightcove04pmdo-a.akamaihd.net/4221396001/4221396001_4833789140001_4833724315001-vs.jpg

Is that footage from the birth of BB8?

it would not at all surprise you to know that I taped The Lawnmower Man off tv and rewatched it a number of times

Even as a stupid young teen I regretted spending my $4 or whatever on that matinee

I would hazard a guess that it's one of those movies that is helped by commercial breaks

well this bodes well

Poor The Last Jedi pic.twitter.com/wWcUxNzIio

— 🎅, fka ☕️ (@coopercooperco) December 11, 2019

(quotes from https://www.nytimes.com/2019/12/11/movies/star-wars-the-rise-of-skywalker-jj-abrams.html)

tru

beyond that, it’s insane that none of these folks ever acknowledge that Abrams was the one who handed Johnson an ep 8 with every character scattered to the winds and a Luke Skywalker who had retired in shame and fled into hiding https://t.co/3O8bDXyQZr

— David Sims (@davidlsims) December 11, 2019

was thinking the other day that almost everything i dislike about the last jedi is a result of the corner kasdan/abrams wrote things into for force awakens

still glad snoke is dead

I guess I'm gonna have to rewatch these things before seeing the new ones. I can maybe remember a half dozen elements from each that I can distinguish as belonging to that specific movie but otherwise both sequels kinda blur into one another in my mind. I have no recollection of how the last one ended aside from that lightsaber duel. I mean, I just sat here for a minute trying to remember which one Mads was in before realizing it was neither. Guess I also gotta turn in my fan club badge now, huh.

this all reinforces my longstanding sense that the RJ trilogy isn't really going to happen

Crazy idea, I know, but maybe they could try a few solo outings (not of the Han variety, natch) set in the SW universe to see if one in particular resonated with the public before going all-in on an entire trilogy.

Why would you make a Rian Johnson trilogy, when you have Benioff and Wise ready to recreate that Game of Thrones magic?

I honestly don't know if that is still on...

Canned

That was 86d like, 3 months ago shortly after (and maybe a direct result of) the GOT dudes admitting they kind of conned their way into the GOT gig

Like I don't know how many times the studios need to burn their dicks off with the 'expansive years-long palette of films whose plots and characters are thoroughly unknown and untested' plan before they start to learn that they're putting the cart before the horse.

we should do a poll of never-completed would-be blockbuster film franchises a la Golden Compass, Narnia, Maze Runner etc

this all reinforces my longstanding sense that the RJ trilogy isn't really going to happen

That would be a good poll also add in that infernal machines movie thing that happened this year (?)

xxpost Didn't I see somewhere that somebody was picking up the Narnia mantle where it was left off? And cranking out another movie or two to a confused public before following Disney's lead and abandoning it all over again?

oh yeah that had budding franchise written all over it, see also Alita xp

Did Hobbit TV get axed too?

no, the Hobbit TV series went straight to theaters, cut as three "movies"

the maze runner is technically complete

they didn't include the prequel books but whom gives a shit

ah I thought some of it got shunted off to a TV series or something

(research montage) It does appear that Netflix is indeed continuing the Narnia adaptations, although whether for theaters or TV (or both) is unclear.

oh yeah that had budding franchise written all over it, see also Alita xp

― Simon H., Wednesday, December 11, 2019 9:32 AM (eight minutes ago)

Alita did $400m worldwide and will get a sequel if I pray hard enough

Did Hobbit TV get axed too?

Nope, thriving. New casting news the other day, J. A. Bayona's arrived in Auckland, second season confirmed. Trust me, having a Tolkien podcast means you know these things.

Cameron doesn't get involved in a project these days without securing half a dozen sequels from the outset. He's planning to alternate the upcoming Avatar installments with Titanic follow-ups iirc.

we should do a poll of never-completed would-be blockbuster film franchises a la Golden Compass, Narnia, Maze Runner etc

― Simon H., Wednesday, December 11, 2019 10:27 AM (twenty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

the golden compass got rebooted as an hbo series

was thinking the other day that almost everything i dislike about the last jedi is a result of the corner kasdan/abrams wrote things into for force awakens

― american bradass (BradNelson), Wednesday, December 11, 2019 9:57 AM (fifty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

for example: maz kanata, who is nearly written out of the last jedi but we still had to see her in hologram form. really terrible character

Hm, reminds me that I haven't seen a mention of her at all for the new one.

She kills a Jimmy Hoffaesque Jawa

ok rise of skywalker has one thing going for it xp

the golden compass got rebooted as an hbo series

I am aware. diff cast/crew years later doesn't count imo!

Narnia failed to complete two separate times!