Ne'er get thee stitched til Booris be ditched: UK General Election 2019

Blobby Driver

married to a flag post

whatever the tories are paying their media relations people isn't nearly enough, this is flawless

"Conservative sources insisted that Johnson was 'categorically not hiding' in the fridge, from which Johnson emerged carrying a crate of milk bottles – but instead his aides were taking a moment to prep the PM for a separate, pre-agreed interview." https://t.co/CV4lMy3MZS

— Jim Waterson (@jimwaterson) December 11, 2019

hold up - the SNP don’t have any BAME candidates?!

xp milked it

could almost whoop at the chagos & yemen parts of lowkey’s election vossi bop remix. it has hardly been mentioned in this election but people CARE about that shit

It’s not that they necessarily believe this to be true, it’s that it’s impossible to know if anything is true

this is where I don't post the Arendt quote I didn't post last time bcz that would be square and meltish, again

but I was thinking about the idea of flooding the (ahem) discourse with falsehoods & noise until nothing seems verifiable/true again wrt the Tory leaflets saying "vote for change" (as my local one does, don't know if it's just this constituency), because OK we have been not-Tory locally since 2017, and maybe Leavers are tuned into Brexit = Change messaging, but still the party of 9.5 years in govt saying "vote for us, vote for change" seems v obviously bullshitty

but perhaps this is in fact not a Leaver-grabbing slogan but to undermine any faith in claims of "change" from politicians on all sides: well this is just so much bullshit but isn't it always, whoever you vote for it's always the government that gets in etc etc, no need to listen to Santa Corbyn promising nice changes either (better things aren't possible, as Twitter puts it)

anyway this is an aside from the real struggles and there are much bigger questions from this election even on the mendacious psy-ops side; thanks to everyone who's gone out canvassing etc, and gl uk

How can something be oven ready if it's straight out of the fridge?

and avoids heat at every turn

over-ready straight from the fridge is how packaged microwave food works i believe:

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/AstonishingIncompatibleJavalina-size_restricted.gif

pic.twitter.com/WO38TgVFYH

— Gonçalo Sousa (@goncalosousa) December 11, 2019

lol

X2

Well done, that man.

A last-minute push for tactical voting has seen one Lib Dem candidate in a highly marginal seat effectively endorse his Labour opponent, advising local people to support him to avoid the constituency falling to the Conservatives.

In a series of tweets, Brendan Devlin said that while he could not support either Labour or Jeremy Corbyn, the incumbent Labour MP, Paul Williams was “an honest, sincere man, and if I needed help, I know he’s reliable and committed to social justice”. He added:

"To be crystal clear: vote tactically for someone who cares about the NHS and social care. Those are important in Stockton South".

Nationalise Sausages and Shut the Fridge, me in the guardian on friday

(this is not the piece i'm working on, i'm posting it here so it doesn't end up in a fkn footnote my scholar's brain is entirely broken)

good job principled libdem brendan devlin, if i was in yr constituency you'd have my vote

Oh man I can't read all the shit I missed last night/this morning

There used to be public safety adverts about kids dieing in discarded fridges, how did that cunt get out+

Those fridge PSAs were a great source of anxiety to me as a child.

They were the PSAs that freaked me out the least because I never wanted to get into a dumped fridge

You were never pursued by a reporter from Good Morning Britain.

I imagined the fridge would suck me in...

Imagine five years of these shits.

Manchester landlords be rattled pic.twitter.com/UXKC9YX5qu

— Dave | vote🌹| get yer flu jab (@ChaosDave69) December 10, 2019

did we already enjoy this one?

Matt Hancock, Health Secretary and MP for West Suffolk, congratulating himself on the improvements at Newmarket A&E. There is no A&E in Newmarket. He understands neither his job nor his constituency. pic.twitter.com/YVidvTGrp6

— Ellie Potbury (@ElliePotbury) December 9, 2019

hatt mancock does it again

profiles in courage

Boris Johnson has refused to follow the other six leaders who have taken part in the leader interviews @BBCRadio2. His staff constantly told my producers — until this morning — that he was "very likely" to come on. Today we were told he couldn't, and no reason was given.

— Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) December 11, 2019

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aCiYmCVikjo

Former Scottish Tory leader Ruth Davidson says she will swim naked in Loch Ness if the SNP wins 50 or more seats

nessie we need u now more than ever

haven't we suffered enough?

:D

'my uncle works at nintendo and he let me play the new mario game'

I have a friend in counter terrorism. They are terrified of what Corbyn will demand in order to please his Islamic extremist friends. https://t.co/qHUzzdqd5y

— Harriet Sergeant (@HarrietSergeant) December 11, 2019

Political Editor @bbclaurak just said on #PolitcsLive that postal votes so far look pretty grim for Labour, but how would she know because I've always understood that nobody especially a journalist has access to postal votes until the day of the election, am I missing something?

— Wayne Smith Esq. #FBPE (@waynesmith1971) December 11, 2019

even the mail are running with the story of boris shitting himself on telly and hiding in a fridge

gonna be a great asset round the negotiating table

terrible that only one man in the world knows whether the light stays on when you close the fridge but you can't trust a word he says

— joe (@mutablejoe) December 11, 2019

I've been a counting agent previously, I've seen the postal votes come in with the standard ballots, there's no way of knowing this before 10PM on polling day

The BBC Political editor is engaged in fabrication to the benefit of the Conservative Party here https://t.co/uKgC633XoD

— 🚩 The Election Leftorium 🗳️ (@LeftoriumThe) December 11, 2019

Have we had this beauty yet?

A Tory MP asks the audience:

"Do you want Jeremy Corbyn to be Prime Minister?"

pic.twitter.com/FNfKOh7XYK

— David. Hope🌹 (@IwantJC4PM) December 11, 2019

pic.twitter.com/soHHA2atVb

— Caroline Love (@Carolin31152898) December 11, 2019

Here's the clip. It's a complete fabrication. "Ofcourse they don't look at it but they get a hint." How?

agent k i think your cover might be blown

man i'm gonna be so relieved when the rules on impartial broadcasting during elections kick in - any minute now, it's gonna happen

i have hidden
the prime minister
in the ice box

and which
you probably wanted
to
talk to

forgive me
he is embarrassing
and prone
to gaffe

— joe (@mutablejoe) December 11, 2019

this man seems to be a special sort of idiot:

12m ago 13:51
Leave supporters suffering 'racism of opinion', claims Brexit party candidate

Earlier I quoted the Brexit party candidate in Doncaster North, Andy Stewart, saying he had been a victim of “racism of opinion”. (See 10.18am.) The Press Association has now filed his quotes. Stewart said, as a mixed-race man, he had seen racism first-hand. But he claimed the abuse he has witnessed in the past month as a Brexit party candidate had been quite different.

There’s a new kind of racism about.

It’s not for colour, it’s not for creed or race, and it’s not for religion - it’s for opinion. It’s racism of opinion.

You are then charged with being of this kind of opinion, and you’re ostracised.

People turn around and tell you that your opinion’s not worth anything, you’re charged with being different to other people.

same clown that claimed labour activists had forced his campaign car off the road:

So how bad can it get in Doncaster?
Tonight they attempted to ram my colleague off the road. Car spun, trailer smashed, driver in hospital.
How bad? #Election2019 #Doncaster #BrexitParty #LabourParty pic.twitter.com/3nuYxOAh1E

— Andy Stewart (@BrexitDoncNorth) December 5, 2019

(police later confirmed that the wind had blown it over)

whatever the result tomorrow it is about time trash like Ashworth were purged. There isn't any value having him pissing inside the tent or outside it, just a fucking waste of space.

Soon comrade soon

if the postal vote claim had landed unchallenged (something lauraK can no longer deliver i feel), surely its likely effect wd be firing up the labour left-push ground game and rendering tories more complacent?

the reports were the same on postal votes in 2017
https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=VLNwDwAAQBAJ&pg=PA303&lpg=PA303&dq=%22postal+votes%22+%22bad+for+labour%22&source=bl&ots=VJ79TYJrPM&sig=ACfU3U3YDZh4f71w-zl6P0CLCI-rq31yQw&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjgnLuK5a3mAhVkqnEKHb-9BA0Q6AEwBHoECAcQAQ#v=onepage&q=%22postal%20votes%22%20%22bad%20for%20labour%22&f=false

ty for receipts comrade barcode

Idg opening postal votes 'for verification' before election day, that just seems wrong. Keep 'em closed and start counting/~verifying~ them just like you do with conventional ballots. So what if it will take longer then.

VOTE TIM

https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/f7679c932ee4d1c93b3633b4b97422fff893d117/0_97_3500_2100/master/3500.jpg?width=620&quality=85&auto=format&fit=max&s=207206c20f207a3764bb02e7f16ef93c