Ne'er get thee stitched til Booris be ditched: UK General Election 2019

Their +5 charisma bonus only kicks in within walking distance of the Bullingdon Club iirc.

2xp

if you'd left out the 2xp there I'd have had to set the Pitt Club on you

That's good mfktz, been a bit worried about Cambridge

It’s hilarious that Johnson is campaigning in Rochester when the local MP, Kelly Tolhurst, hasn’t been seen for months. You genuinely wouldn’t know there was an election on. Last time she put some posters up but they got vandalised, so she had apparently just decided not to bother. She’ll probably get a majority of 30k.

I always confuse Rochester, Rochdale and Rotherham, obviously quite different places.

https://farm5.static.flickr.com/4055/4398771692_5d1e2d6e4b_o.jpg

God was it Johnny Nobhead Depp who made some shitty film about Rochester or did I hallucinate that?

I' th' isle of Britain, long since famous grown
For breeding the best cunts in Christendom,
There reigns, and oh! long may he reign and thrive,
The easiest King and best-bred man alive.
Him no ambition moves to get renown 5
Like the French fool, that wanders up and down
Starving his people, hazarding his crown.
Peace is his aim, his gentleness is such,
And love he loves, for he loves fucking much.
---Nor are his high desires above his strength: 10
His scepter and his prick are of a length;
And she may sway the one who plays with th' other,
And make him little wiser than his brother.
Poor prince! thy prick, like thy buffoons at Court,
Will govern thee because it makes thee sport. 15
'Tis sure the sauciest prick that e'er did swive,
The proudest, peremptoriest prick alive.
Though safety, law, religion, life lay on 't,
'Twould break through all to make its way to cunt.
Restless he rolls about from whore to whore, 20
A merry monarch, scandalous and poor.
---To Carwell, the most dear of all his dears,
The best relief of his declining years,
Oft he bewails his fortune, and her fate:
To love so well, and be beloved so late. 25
For though in her he settles well his tarse,
Yet his dull, graceless ballocks hang an arse.
This you'd believe, had I but time to tell ye
The pains it costs to poor, laborious Nelly,
Whilst she employs hands, fingers, mouth, and thighs, 30
Ere she can raise the member she enjoys.
---All monarchs I hate, and the thrones they sit on,
---From the hector of France to the cully of Britain.

I bet Depp has never even been to Spotland, the clueless cunt

I would like to see a version of Jane Eyre with a Mr Rotherham

EY UP LASS YOU'LL NEVER PLAY FOR YORKSHIRE

Def encouraging xp, in contrast I’ve seen way more LD signs than labour but that was also the case in 2017. idk quite worried in general so it’s prob good to go and do something positive, no point despairing until fri 13th when we will all be too busy leaning against wet paint & being splashed by buses driving through puddles anyway

I counted the signs when I cycled down Sedgwick St the other week, it was 10 labour to 4 lib dem, have seen a couple of green signs about, not a single conservative which is interesting when we are surrounded by them on all sides. Lived in Ely before and the signs were like 60% tory, and that was in the city.

It’s hilarious that Johnson is campaigning in Rochester when the local MP, Kelly Tolhurst, hasn’t been seen for months. You genuinely wouldn’t know there was an election on. Last time she put some posters up but they got vandalised, so she had apparently just decided not to bother. She’ll probably get a majority of 30k.

― Srinivasaraghavan VONCataraghavan (ShariVari), Friday, 6 December 2019 bookmarkflaglink

🤮🤮🤮

whoever is running labour's social media for this campaign deserves a raise

We can’t let him get away with this. pic.twitter.com/iL5hdRZUUV

— The Labour Party (@UKLabour) December 6, 2019

Oof

Where are we with one week to go? A thread:

In 2017 I went to a pool club in Northfield, near where I grew up in Birmingham. Whatever was being said nationally, it was where I realised the Labour vote was holding up. https://t.co/EAT7lxpax1

It didn’t feel like this time.

— Lewis Goodall (@lewis_goodall) December 6, 2019

Worth mentioning again that those historic abuse investigations he derides include his old prep school.

The Midlands swallowed Thatcherism whole in the 80s and has never really gone back, the Birmingham/Cov and environs megalopolis is an island of multiculturalism in a sea of reactionary self-satisfied bourgie swine

Yes I think if it's bad next Friday then I think we can conclude that Corbyn was merely arresting a kind of long-term Lab decline in 2017.

I am not sure why Facebook ads seem to be doing a job on Corbyn. I am sure the Tories are ramping it up but the IRA stuff was very strong in 2017 too. Something Lewis is picking up but I wonder if he will examine properly.

In the meantime he has carried on with the thread:

Then just across town, there’s the young. Every single one of the under 25s voting Labour. Virtually all of the 30 somethings too: “best Christmas present we could have is a Labour govt” one said. Excitement is real.

— Lewis Goodall (@lewis_goodall) December 6, 2019

I dunno if the IRA Corbs/Diane Abbott is stupid memes have ever been shared by or influential on anybody who isn't a reactionary Tory cunt tho, it's hardly hearts and minds stuff

I think lewis is generally p.good. it's just when 40% of the country voted labour just two years ago, and we never hear about those people (only about the people who are now soft labour or 'lifelong labour now tory')... it does make you sceptical. perhaps this time round he spoke to some of the people from edelman's 2017 birmingham focus groups? (editor's note: all birmingham labour MPs were returned with larger majorities)
https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/leave-voters-must-vote-tory-if-they-believe-in-democracy-says-focus-group_uk_590afe60e4b02655f8448327

Well Lewis is saying I went to x place and the vote was holding up now it isn't. All will be revealed in a week. We may need the young vote to increase the vote by 10% from last time.

Someone in the comments said "young ppl don't bother with fbook" so whatever is happening in social media isn't reaching them.

there are lots of activists' reports saying that the labour vote is holding up in those places though (and they'll have the 2017/15/10 canvass returns to compare against.) as you say, we'll see in a week and don't doubt lewis' good faith reporting (unlike e.g. paul brand's "lifelong labour voters" are all telling me they'll vote tory... turns out he's speaking to people in tory market towns.)

Lol who is on fb, I'm not even young but it's just aunties

not gonna fret over one of the ten Birmingham seats finally flipping blue for a while just because ex-Kippers there are getting antsy again especially seeing as went to the one seat in that region with the biggest risk of it

not as bad as bloody Paul Brand concern trolling over factory workers in Derbyshire Dales who said they always voted Labour but now aren't without emphasising that's one of the Toriest seats north of Northampton

My current thing to pointlessly fret about - because it’s shitting it down right now - is that torrential rain will depress turnout on polling day

Not a problem, already depressed

seems notable - andrew fisher is hardly crank left...

BBCCHQ speaks ... https://t.co/2X7iKJ9Dd2

— Andrew Fisher (@FisherAndrew79) December 6, 2019

A few days back, he was at the Sobell leisure centre near Arsenal’s stadium, when a man flew out of the showers “completely naked,” laughs the Labour leader, who was torn between squeamishness and a politician’s civility. “I was like, ‘please put it away, get a towel’ but he was: ‘I want to talk to you about my nan’s housing.’”

Corbono hates naked men, I must reluctantly vote Conservative

when garu g met jeremy corbyn

https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2019/12/06/uk/top-british-diplomat-quits-brexit-intl/index.html?__twitter_impression=true

Tbf I have no idea what she was expecting when she took up diplomacy.

In a searing resignation letter delivered just over a week before the UK general election, Alexandra Hall Hall, the lead envoy for Brexit in the British Embassy in Washington, said that she had become increasingly dismayed by the demands placed on the British civil service to deliver messages on Brexit which were not "fully honest."

How will this shock revelation play in the midlands?!

I met a real life Liberal Democrat last night (second one this year)!

He was exactly like what you are picturing in your mind. He asked me which was I was voting and I said something like "I'm not sure, normally I would vote Lib Dem too but Jo seems to have lost the plot but now that Labour are offering second referendum I'm kinda temped to give them a go, seems best way to stop Brexit"

I wasn't able to work in the phrase 'politically homeless' but the 'Lifelong LibDem can't vote LibDem again' approach does seem pretty effective

Alexandra Hall Hall, so good they named her twice

Less a name than a law firm

Channel 4 just apologised for the colour / talent thing WITHOUT showing the footage so we could make up our own minds.

just learned about katie hopkins. since you all are closer, can you let her know that she has been chosen to appear at the prestigious Elite Thinkers Conference, which is like Davos but way better and geared toward conservative geniuses? here are the coordinates 40°15′09″N 58°26′23″E

please let her know that she should arrive first to help set the tone in order to establish the tone of the conference, and that she should cover the surrounding area with gasoline in order to demonstrate her support for fossil fuels

one last thing - sorry - she needs to livestream her arrival and the spreading of the gasoline, then put the camera on a tripod as she walks closer to the coordinates

lmao

ONE last thing, sorry - it would be best if she could deliver a monologue about being a white straight woman as she does this

Hoping she decides to do a Sebastian Gorka and become a true red-white-and-blue blooded American.

she would seriously do really well here

She's not exactly doing very well over here so I would recommend relocation.

amazingly, the thing i'm getting fired up about is her criticism of london's christmas tree (well, actually, her blaming "the Muslim Mayor" for it)