Ne'er get thee stitched til Booris be ditched: UK General Election 2019

at least a night on the lash with Osborne wouldn't involve listening to him drone on about Strictly or Weller

it probably would involve him getting coked out of his gourd and trying to set a homeless person on fire tho tbf

down with plan A, not so much plan B

Alan Johnson is the absolute fucking worst. He could talk about winning the middle ground, Oasis and how his supporting the abolition of clause IV felt like a great moment in Labour history.

A few years ago I was at a fairly drunken event with lots of chattering classes types where I spent about 45 minutes with a very merry Alan Johnson and he was pleasant enough, but he could NOT take his eyes off fellow guest David Gilmour. AJ was wearing a Liberty floral shirt and basically doing an homage to ‘67 Floyd.

tbf if AJ stands for seven hours with eyes like dead planets playing the same chord over interstellar overdrive this will be the only good GE coverage ever staged

The Wastemen 3

Inspirational.

I’m crying real tears pic.twitter.com/MBHDutUb9o

— Downing Street Source (@judeinlondon2) December 5, 2019

brilliant!!

The Saj getting butchered on PM for his bs talking on Labour homelessness figures this morning

fuck her up angela

The classic sickening Tory stereotyping and prejudice l have fought against all my life. The Tories claim to support aspiration but they sneer and look down their noses at working class people, sheer arrogance, snobbery and entitlement shining through, they cannot help themselves https://t.co/pQSJGNcdqh

— Angela Rayner 🌈 (@AngelaRayner) December 5, 2019

Your 2019 wrapped.#spotifywrapped2019 pic.twitter.com/DCF4uuskuC

— The Labour Party (@UKLabour) December 5, 2019

The BBC tries to salvage its tattered reputation. A big moment#GE2019 pic.twitter.com/e2zfumscZC

— Aaron Bastani (@AaronBastani) December 5, 2019

🤔

good thread - needed a wee +ve boost today

Could ALL the polls be wrong?

I've been looking at the data - and the short answer is yes.

We've had two elections (2015 and 2017) where pretty much every pollster was wrong.

So, what fresh polling disasters await us in 2019? Let's find out...

A thread, with data.

1/15

— Dr Moderate (@centrist_phone) December 5, 2019

no more hope I'm begging u

no unskewing please, you can just say "nobody knows"

I always said those BMG lads are top class pollsters (apart from when I didn't like their polling results)

corbyn's candidate went there

Thank you for your service @MikeGapes.

May the cows in the north and the cows in the south continue to produce your favorite beverage during your long retirement... #ThanksMike #GE2019 pic.twitter.com/2VBjyTn6EA

— Sam Tarry (@SamTarry) December 5, 2019

shitty as they've been I'm glad the BBC at least went there. now properly empty-chair the prick already!

so it turns out brillo pad empty seated a Labour mp in 2010 (with a peppa pig doll on the seat)

That Andrew Neil bit reminds me of when teachers would drop massive hints about all of the questions on the mock exams a few weeks in advance

I love that Dr Moderate thread but of course it's telling me exactly what I want to hear

sometimes you need a bit of that even if it is hopeful nonsense. But tbf most UK polling is hopeful nonsense in recent years and is nice to hear a counterpoint occasionally, instead of hearing the pundit classes speculating on the size of the tory majority ad fucking infinitum

LMAO pic.twitter.com/surFWMCN1r

— Admiral Ackbars Memoriam (@GhostofAckbar) December 5, 2019

I love that Dr Moderate thread but of course it's telling me exactly what I want to hear

― nashwan,

Good thread with interesting points, but in this thing about leavers 'dying off' does need the corollary that the over 80s cohort voted Remain more than Leave. Leavers aren't 'old people', leavers are boomers

also, young people turn into old people.

(that said, it's only been 3 minutes since the last election so...)

wow, can't wait for this bombshell story to get blanket coverage in the media - a former pm rallying against the current one? massive news by any standard

Former Tory PM John Major to join election rally aimed at blocking Boris Johnson majorityhttps://t.co/AjSTJM9Gpx

— PoliticsHome (@politicshome) December 6, 2019

lol waht

Michael Gove has just given out the number for Downing Street on @bbc5live encouraging us to call Boris Johnson’s diary secretary to find out if he’ll sit down for an interview with @afneil.... 🧐 https://t.co/v7wX1RJiKj

— Allie Hodgkins-Brown (@AllieHBNews) December 6, 2019

Hiding from the cameras, running from debates and over-reliance on the same robotic slogans were exactly the mistakes that May made during her campaign. The Tories appear to have staked everything on a punt, that Johnson's three-word slogan will be more effective than any of hers. I'm still sceptical about that.

Lolololol Gove has fucked him.

Home Sec Priti Patel has had to pay £100,000 damages to a mentally ill Iranian asylum seeker for being unlawfully detained for 615 days with no prospect of being returned

— simon israel (@simonisrael) December 5, 2019

The whole Andrew Neil thing is weird but I am not sure most people care either way, nor do I think it was massively damaging when Corbyn went on it. If the trend in the polls is correct Lab are up and if not you just couldn't draw some causation relating in regards to the night Corbyn was shouted at by this cunt.

JC has more receipts

what a messy bitch

He’s bottling it - they gave the same “the public aren’t interested” defence Trump used over tax returns.

Think Johnson hasn't entirely hidden away either. Did take part in head-to-head debate and the QT special.

JC going in on “what are they hiding from you?” andrew neil affair not really helping him there

People don't care that much about the interview itself as much as the impact of not doing it - ie the message you send out is 'untrustworthy coward'.

Corbyn and Labour should be hammering the line that if Johnson is running scared of a TV interview, how on earth should anyone expect him to stand up to Trump when the NHS is on the table.

Just like last week and trade documents, they haven’t given us copies of the document to look properly at what they are claiming before we get to ask questions - Corbyn quoting from a document we can’t see yet

— Laura Kuenssberg (@bbclaurak) December 6, 2019

waaahhhh they won't give us the documents so we can't immediately go and find them on reddit, claim they're of russian origins and then refuse to properly press the government on their contents, we have to wait a couple of hours

1. Gove knifing Boris
2. Gove just going slightly off-piste in a way that definitely doesn't remind anyone of a coke-addled sociopath getting a bit ahead of himself
3. Super Brain Cummings and his Amazing (27.4+5.3i)-Dimensional-Chess Plans
4. just building the hype a little for when Boris relents and Tory Spectator buddy Neil gives him a jokey easy ride with the questions all handed over in advance, after the boomers have all safely sent off their postal votes anyway
5. doesn't even matter, do some work

Having said 4. Andrew Neil's 3-minute spiel went in a bit harder than I expected and I did like the bit about "as PM he'll have to stand up to Trump, Putin and Xi, but he won't even stand up to me", this seems worth repeating - Matt OTM

boris is on tonight:

The Prime Ministerial Debate

Boris Johnson and Jeremy Corbyn face each other in Southampton in the BBC's prime ministerial debate ahead of the general election on Thursday 12th December. Chaired by Nick Robinson.

Release date: 06 December 2019
59 minutes

FUCK HIM UP JEZZA

10/10 use of props by JC this election

Andrew Neil has too large an ego to give Boris an easy ride, and protecting the rep is more important than anything else.

Scottish yougov poll:

"Seat projections from the poll see the SNP up from 35 to 46, Tories down from 13 to 8, the Lib Dems sticking at 4 and Labour losing all but one of their 7 Mps."

4. just building the hype a little for when Boris relents and Tory Spectator buddy Neil gives him a jokey easy ride with the questions all handed over in advance

This was my inkling too but it just seems too ridiculous that it would have any beneficial effect plus Neil is so over-rated and given Johnson is turning up for other hastily arranged interviews and is so easily stumped by anyone...pass

hnnngghhhh xp

It was funny how Corbyn basically tweeted Neil's little speech

utter indictment of our media that the labour party has to call a press conference and wave around some documents before any of them will sit up and notice something we all already knew anyway

Neil is overrated and I thought he looked past it in the last election but, having said that think, he could still annihilate a bag of shite like Johnson.