Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

New poll for week 2, ya'll:

The "Let's Dominate the New Yorker Caption Contest" Poll: Week TWO

OK, the 3 official nominees for the first caption have been chosen by the NYer.

http://i42.tinypic.com/14l7ywm.jpg

New Yorker's selections:

"O.K., let's slowly lower in the grant money.”
Submitted by Todd Bearson
Arlington, Mass.

“Relax, for them it's publish and perish.”
Submitted by David Burns
Needham, Mass.

“The research is conclusive—mice are even cuter when you dress them up in little coats.”
Submitted by Brad Hodges
Dungannon, Ontario

ILX selections:

"They look more like her but they take after me."
Submitted by Roberto Spiralli
10 votes

"Okay, NOW they're just mocking us." 4
Submitted by Hi Dere
4 votes

"I know their clipboards are proportional, but it makes it really hard to read their notes."
Submitted by EZ Snappin
3 votes

"What troubles me is that they're speaking German."
Submitted by Dr Superman
3 votes

Meanwhile...

WEEK THREE CONTEST/NOMINATIONS BEGIN HERE

http://i41.tinypic.com/2rzzb4y.jpg

NOMINATIONS DUE BY WEDNESDAY, JUNE 24TH, WITH THE POLL RUNNING FROM THE NIGHT OF THE 24TH TO THE NIGHT OF THE 27TH.

oh come on, there's only one caption/theme for that one:

"Aren't you forgetting something?"/"I thought you had him!"/etc etc

"That's right, avert your eyes! You don't want to end up like Henry, do you?"

i told him, if he says "are we nearly there yet?" one more time...

"so you're certain that this 'life-sized subbuteo' game is legal?"

"Do you think these frappucinos are making me irritable?"

"just pull over slowly and let me do the talking"

"'WARNING: LOW BRIDGE AHE-' Oh look, cows!"

grant money one seems likely to win.

"So, this week's theme is National Lampoon's Vacation?"

"yes but *I* didn't forget my drink on roof of the car"

"personally, i would have opened with pawn to king's 4"

"for the last time, i'm not spending my per diem to rent an SUV"

'Idiot Blaine Ruins Gumball 3000'

"you wouldn't be hungry if you got something at the drive-thru, mr. i-hate-trans-fats"

I'm trying to think of some combined Odysseus/cop caper gag, but not getting very far. Best I can come up as of yet:

"Are you sure this is the best way to avoid the sirens?"

Not great.

"i still say the extortion industry shouldn't have to advertise."

"well, I'm not explaining why we had to drop him off 'somewhere more scenic'"

"No, the drivethrough girl did not seem weird to me."

"if you didn't want jackass 3 on your resume you shouldn't have taken the job."

ugh who knew being drily urbane was so challenging

a variation on elmo's:

"don't tell me you forgot your drink on the roof again"

short sweet and stupid is most likely on this one.
"I thought he was with you!"
"Well it's not like he WALKED away..."

"Nothing back there but a coffee cup, boss."

"what are those idiots beeping at?"

That's the cruelest depiction of distress I've seen in a NYer cartoon maybe ever. Look at that dude's eyes.

also
"That's the cruelest depiction of distress I've seen in a NYer cartoon maybe ever. Look at that dude's eyes"

"thanks for stopping, a slurpee always brings out the kid in me"

"look, paul, I'm trying to be supportive here but there are better ways of getting on reality TV"

"Thank god THAT'S taken care of."

haha I was going to do a "Jackass" one but chickened out

"It's like, he's going in the drink, but this drink is going in me. Makes you think, you know?"

"Are you or have you ever been a representative or member of a terrorist organization or a member of a group which endorses terrorist activity?"

"these car rental people don't know the meaning of the word 'legroom' do they?"

"these harsh interrogation techniques are torture on your highway milage"

"I'm not exactly sure how they took the news but they said they'd give us 'a sign'"

"maybe it's in my other pants"

"I've always hated Rush Week."

"back in my day, we didn't have to travel to a sustainable fishery"

lotsa mileage in the torture angle npi

"Don't get me wrong, I love these family reunions - I just wish Mitt wouldn't act like he's better than the rest of us."

"I dunno...did you leave the gas on maybe?"

"Hey Mario, you know what I hate? When the picture for a caption competition is fucking lame. Also - Jews."

"I spy with my little eye something that rhymes with 'shoe left the hostage on the roof, idiot'."

"Porco Dio! Che disgraziata!"

"after the administration banned waterboarding we weren't left with many options"

Thinking of some "give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day" gag but I can't place it

"i think it qualifies as a 'stress position,' yes"

"You wanna know where he is? Hit the brakes and I'll tell you..."