Ne'er get thee stitched til Booris be ditched: UK General Election 2019

It seems like kind of a dumb irrelevant question tbh but obv one loves to see him squirm etc

It is a dumb question. Can't imagine what I'd answer if asked 'how can other people relate to you and your personal life'... But it's politics 1.1 and part of the spiel.

See also: the so-called 'beer test', which thankfully doesn't appear to be a thing in the UK.

"Well Clive, thanks for asking, that's a very good question. I don't think people can relate to me. I don't think people are capable of truly relating to or understanding other human beings. Nothing matters and we all die alone. #voteLBI!"

all he needed to say was some boilerplate bullshit about how he's a dad and a partner and a dog-owner and he loves watching box sets of game of thrones just like bbc breakfast viewers but instead he's visibly straining not to blurt out that he spends his evenings fucking anything that moves, participating in sinister occult rituals and setting tramps on fire

it's nagl tbh

Two people - £449.40 per year and £37.40 per month

I'm on Southern Water and this is 80p a month over what we pay for 2 people, so yes these are accurate

oh my god that....sound....at 0:22 in that clip. am I hallucinating that

But that's the most relatable part!

Burden asks about Johnson’s own children. They did not go to state schools, did they? Does he have any children who are still of school age?

Johnson replies:

I’m not going to comment on my children, if that’s all right.

Burden says this issue does come up. She says many viewers say they want Johnson to be asked how many children he has. (See here.) Burden does not put the question to him directly, and he does not address it, saying he does not want to talk about his children, but he does say:

Your assertion that none of my children have been to state schools is wrong.

And that’s it.

There's always one in a baker's dozen taking an alternative route

xp haha

Does he have any children who are still of school age?

Love that this is being asked of a PM (whose girlfriend is five years older than his eldest child).

oh my god that....sound....at 0:22 in that clip. am I hallucinating that

i can only blame myself for going back and checking and now i'm going to have to live with that glottal sloshing playing in some dark recess of my brain forevermore

Mr Corbyn what if...a child is dying, and the child’s last wish is to pay £29.99 per month for 12 months of 15mb fibre broadband with no set up fee (terms and conditions apply, prices will go up at the end of the contract, subject to availability in your area)....what then?

— Y (@YSAB87) November 15, 2019

https://i2.wp.com/metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/pm_21711598-e1421578001308.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&zoom=1&resize=644%2C405&ssl=1

Your assertion that none of my children have been to state schools is wrong.

'reports that i have several bastards in the poorhouse are not, strictly speaking, inaccurate, and i shall speak no more on this matter'

See also: the so-called 'beer test', which thankfully doesn't appear to be a thing in the UK.

Posh London kids always do a few years in state reception and primary, until they’re ready to go to a prep feeder for the public school their parents chose for them - for example, BJ went to Primrose Hill School for a few years.

_oh my god that....sound....at 0:22 in that clip. am I hallucinating that_


i can only blame myself for going back and checking and now i'm going to have to live with that glottal sloshing playing in some dark recess of my brain forevermore

https://www.pond5.com/sound-effects/1/cthulhu.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4h95wKVz3-g

(i'm guessing it was just naga having a drink of water)

fp'd all of u for intensifying my nightmares

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloop

Looking at all the Ed M's posting now and thinking why he couldn't be like this back on 2010 :-( fucking Lab right cunts

2015 I mean

Corbyn's Q&A
Jeremy Corbyn and his colleagues are now taking questions.

Q: Isn’t the real problem with BT the fact that it has little competition. How would replacing it with a state monopoly make a difference?

Corbyn says he is proposing a public service, like any other public service.

He says his plan will improve the livelihoods of many people.

Every person in the room uses a computer every day, he says. They need this kind of access.

On public ownership, he says BT used to be in public sector.

Q: Can you really afford this? BT say your plans will cost twice as much as you claim. And won’t ultimately taxpayers have to pay more.

McDonnell says the £20bn figure that Labour is using is a figure from the government’s own review.

Since privatisation, £54bn has been paid out in share dividends. That is twice as much as full-fibre roll-out would have cost.

He says pension funds want the prospect of a steady income from something that is secure. This plan will offer that.

Q: Can you deliver this without a majority Labour government?

Corbyn says that issue does not arise because there is going to be a majority Labour government.

Actually dying at this

The Tories haven't properly invested in our infrastructure but,nevermind the costs of the nationalisation of OpenReach and shareholders (pension funds) not getting mkt value,I'm not sure Jeremy Corbyn is the man u would want to call if your Wifi goes downhttps://t.co/7AXD8jf1EB

— Chuka Umunna (@ChukaUmunna) November 15, 2019

Wrt "free water" it's useful to note that Scotland's water was never privatized,and while not free, is cheaper than all the private providers in England

Is this the part where I get to whip out my amazing fact that there is more water in Loch Ness than in all the lakes in England and Wales put together? I think it could be.

tfw you're so full of rage about a decent policy that your fingers won't tweet properly xp

it's good and instructive to see the level of freaking out and mendacity about this, imagine what it'll be like when they go after private landlords and utility companies

@georgeeaton
23m
Given that something as essential as Universal Credit is *entirely online* (not to mention job applications), fast and free broadband is a genuine human need.

Apparently the Tory campaign bus is launching today...or so I've heard

(xp) That's poor humans though.

are the poor really human tho when u think abt it

Venn diagram of people saying “the state is too technically incompetent to install a broadband connection” and people who say “the state should build and maintain a thermonuclear arsenal”

— Huw Lemmey (@huwlemmey) November 15, 2019

former Labour MP Chuka somewhere between terrified and apopleptic at the thought that any public amenity mightn't be a source of unearned profit for wealthy rentiers

probably need to fire up the "latte-sipping croissant-munching" thread for the hot takes this is gonna generate

Had once mentioned our entire street didn't have any phone lines for 6 months until I got Labour councillors involved to an Oxbridge graduate in BT Plc Strategy Office. They said "it's not in our interest to connect poor people, of course we delayed it" https://t.co/Ww8ztAUDNG

— Naadir Jeewa (@naadirjeewa) November 14, 2019

/Wrt "free water" it's useful to note that Scotland's water was never privatized,and while not free, is cheaper than all the private providers in England/

Is this the part where I get to whip out my amazing fact that there is more water in Loch Ness than in all the lakes in England and Wales put together? I think it could be.

*sternly indicates recent posts in thread*

Q: Do you plan to stop people watching porn on the government’s broadband service?

Rebecca Long-Bailey says there will be a charter of internet rights.

(She does not address the point about pornography.)

in corbyn's britain the only available pornography will be lovingly-photographed documentary footage of jeremy tending his marrow patch

Ewwwphemism.

yay! cast-iron drain cover pron is here to stay

phewwwphemism morelike amirite *fans self*

in corbyn's britain the only available pornography will be lovingly-photographed documentary footage of jeremy tending his marrow patch

o_O

he's ready

https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse4.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.fsT62n3hmVI52RhLiSNiEwHaEo%26pid%3DApi&f=1

the real lemon party

from piss diamond to lemon party: a short film about vince cable