Ne'er get thee stitched til Booris be ditched: UK General Election 2019

the only conceivable possible massive project is leaving the eu no i will not be answering questions at this time

https://yetiblog.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Réaliste-impossible.jpg

Water is free again in Ireland after the water charges were abolished (for most people? deems or someone please correct).

Might as well get a sparkling water fountain installed.

Aside from Perrier and San Pellegrino and the like I have little experience with the stuff (I prefer still).

we're british we demand dull water

Wi-fi-emitting free water.

Eau Jeremy Corbyn

Nice.

Jérémie Corbeau

lol Johnny Mc just comes out with “free broadband will make the UK more competitive”

in all seriousness, the inability to imagine an even slightly radical restructure of society like offering free broadband is literally going to kill us all because it's going to take shifts on a scale several orders of magnitude greater to even start mitigating the effects of climate change

You're on an island, it'll be fine.

This might be interesting dilemma - wondering what govt provider of broadband would do, or could do, about services on public free internet that are not beneficial to the common good, or users who use internet for grim purposes

— Laura Kuenssberg (@bbclaurak) November 15, 2019

laura in full 'JuSt AsKiNg QuEsTiOnS' mode

Jfc she could do with a sabbatical after this GE run is over.

i hear yarl's wood is nice this time of year

she knows as much about how the internet in this country currently works as she knows about shitposting

Mark S, you might want to look into Thames Water discounting schemes - £380 seems a lot for one person, although your cost might be aligned to the size of your flat. I got the discount and paid around £140 for 1 person in a 400sq ft studio flat - up until this year, Camden tenants’ water costs were part of service charges, which dropped by £6/week as a result.

absolute fucking state of boris here

A beautiful depiction of why all politicians, in my view, should be required to undertake mandatory psychotherapy as part of their role.
It is astonishing, though expected, that such a simple question should throw Boris Johnson off balance like this.#Nagapic.twitter.com/JyGk5950DW

— Dr Lauren Gavaghan (@DancingTheMind) November 15, 2019

(i take no responsibility for the accompanying tweet, mind)

At some stage in the campaign someone is going to straight out ask him how many children he has.

Amazing. Write out a transcript of that and it's like a cut-up lit piece by Burroughs.

the only complete sentence in that 2 minutes is straight from the manifesto.

xp lol it's funny how that has become the be and end all question.

He should do a kids PR moment in a primary school, they'll ask him his age and how many kids he has :)

But we already know what makes him 'relatable'. Remember this?

"You like him because he's a liar"
"Yeah because it means he's human"
For F*CKS sake, people! pic.twitter.com/Mfr2wSbGRz

— Phantom flan flinger #GTTO.🇬🇧🇩🇪🇪🇺 (@leepatrick0) November 7, 2019

It seems like kind of a dumb irrelevant question tbh but obv one loves to see him squirm etc

It is a dumb question. Can't imagine what I'd answer if asked 'how can other people relate to you and your personal life'... But it's politics 1.1 and part of the spiel.

See also: the so-called 'beer test', which thankfully doesn't appear to be a thing in the UK.

"Well Clive, thanks for asking, that's a very good question. I don't think people can relate to me. I don't think people are capable of truly relating to or understanding other human beings. Nothing matters and we all die alone. #voteLBI!"

all he needed to say was some boilerplate bullshit about how he's a dad and a partner and a dog-owner and he loves watching box sets of game of thrones just like bbc breakfast viewers but instead he's visibly straining not to blurt out that he spends his evenings fucking anything that moves, participating in sinister occult rituals and setting tramps on fire

it's nagl tbh

Two people - £449.40 per year and £37.40 per month

I'm on Southern Water and this is 80p a month over what we pay for 2 people, so yes these are accurate

oh my god that....sound....at 0:22 in that clip. am I hallucinating that

But that's the most relatable part!

Burden asks about Johnson’s own children. They did not go to state schools, did they? Does he have any children who are still of school age?

Johnson replies:

I’m not going to comment on my children, if that’s all right.

Burden says this issue does come up. She says many viewers say they want Johnson to be asked how many children he has. (See here.) Burden does not put the question to him directly, and he does not address it, saying he does not want to talk about his children, but he does say:

Your assertion that none of my children have been to state schools is wrong.

And that’s it.

There's always one in a baker's dozen taking an alternative route

xp haha

Does he have any children who are still of school age?

Love that this is being asked of a PM (whose girlfriend is five years older than his eldest child).

oh my god that....sound....at 0:22 in that clip. am I hallucinating that

i can only blame myself for going back and checking and now i'm going to have to live with that glottal sloshing playing in some dark recess of my brain forevermore

Mr Corbyn what if...a child is dying, and the child’s last wish is to pay £29.99 per month for 12 months of 15mb fibre broadband with no set up fee (terms and conditions apply, prices will go up at the end of the contract, subject to availability in your area)....what then?

— Y (@YSAB87) November 15, 2019

https://i2.wp.com/metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/pm_21711598-e1421578001308.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&zoom=1&resize=644%2C405&ssl=1

Your assertion that none of my children have been to state schools is wrong.

'reports that i have several bastards in the poorhouse are not, strictly speaking, inaccurate, and i shall speak no more on this matter'

See also: the so-called 'beer test', which thankfully doesn't appear to be a thing in the UK.

Posh London kids always do a few years in state reception and primary, until they’re ready to go to a prep feeder for the public school their parents chose for them - for example, BJ went to Primrose Hill School for a few years.

_oh my god that....sound....at 0:22 in that clip. am I hallucinating that_


i can only blame myself for going back and checking and now i'm going to have to live with that glottal sloshing playing in some dark recess of my brain forevermore

https://www.pond5.com/sound-effects/1/cthulhu.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4h95wKVz3-g

(i'm guessing it was just naga having a drink of water)

fp'd all of u for intensifying my nightmares

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloop

Looking at all the Ed M's posting now and thinking why he couldn't be like this back on 2010 :-( fucking Lab right cunts