Ne'er get thee stitched til Booris be ditched: UK General Election 2019

he will have wanted to stop brexit

The BBC man will have been disappointed by his failure to have will haven't stopped Brexit

Nult for PM

Greg Wallace for Secretary of State
Paul Martin for Chancellor of the Exchequer
John Terry at Home Dept
Richard Madeley at Defence
Blobby at Health and Social Care
Drew Pritchard for Secretary of State of Wales
Wayne Rooney for Minister without Portfolio iirc
Jeremy Clarkson for Minister of Transport

Sorted.

John Terry at Home Dept

Commonwealth, United Nations and Trade

beautiful

haha

a cabinet of all the tarrants

that shower aren't fit to polish blobby's blobs

maitlis deleted her tweet

lol, guess it was sincere

what a fucking goon

i've never seen even the slightest trace of humour or irony from maitlis on newsnight so it makes sense

More likely to be deleted if nobody was getting the joke I’d say. Or hope, tbh

To be fair to her I think there was at least a 50% chance that Maitlis wasn’t sincere and just thought a second Tory MP blaming the victims of Grenfell was a good opportunity to wheel out a wry sideways glance and a bit of snark.

If we didn't realize it already, the Tories are going fully Trump this time around.

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2019/nov/05/tories-unrepentant-about-doctored-video-of-keir-starmer-tv-appearance

Christ, imagine being on the wrong side of a debate Piers Morgan is in. Probably sticking up for a fellow Arsenal fan.

you know a lot abo

the guidelines for bbc staff using their personal social accounts during elections are very strict so if she actually wrote what she meant to write it’s hard to see how it’s defensible either way

i should say, news and editorial staff

Emily Maitlis lives near Grenfell and did a ton of volunteering and general mucking-in as part of the community effort to help victims. I suspect misfired snark.

the guidelines for bbc staff using their personal social accounts during elections are very strict so if she actually wrote what she meant to write it’s hard to see how it’s defensible either way

that may be true for civil servants but for the bbc the guidance is already in effect. i wouldn’t be surprised if maitlis got a call from her exec.

Started this afternoon

maitlis just introduced newsnight by saying that the tories wanted “to wear the mantle of incompetence”

not that i necc disagree

OK kudos Ms Maitlis sorry I wronged you

Boris Johnson launches Conservative campaign exclusively in The Telegraph

Launching your nationwide tour with an intimate gig to a small crowd of friends and paid fans.

The Daily Telegraph: Boris Johnson launches Conservative campaign exclusively in the Telegraph #tomorrowspaperstoday pic.twitter.com/uHrW6HqS97

— Helena Wilkinson (@BBCHelena) November 5, 2019

😍😍😍

Oh man if only

No Telegraph reader will read a headline beyond the first three words. Also, they misspelled GULAG.

The profit motive, war be upon him.

That's, er, not real, is it?

Telegraph's poppy is the most fuckable of all poppies. Apple w/ a butthole (I know, I know, it's serious) as a poppy = always a winner.

(garbled post that simply means vote tories obv)

fped

#ukpolitics pic.twitter.com/YrcquFQbgJ

— Poppy® Watch (@giantpoppywatch) November 5, 2019

the only tragedy is that the UK's landed gentry class didn't get liquidated in the early 20th century like in the east. Mind you at least that arsehole's granddad got torn to pieces by a lynch mob and fed to the dogs in Turkey - just a bit too late unfortunately.

pointing their fingers with relish, shame be upon them

My God, it is real, has he lost his marbles or what?

Pippinids vs Arsacids

Xxps assume bbc aren't going to bother with impartiality guidelines this time round

That telegraph cover... shd a headline need a tl:dr?

The country has been tearing itself apart over the profit motive for too long now, families at war, bitterness and division, it must end.

That telegraph cover... shd a headline need a tl:dr?

Anyway we all know the campaign will have failed without one of these

Greg Knight re-elected. Glad to hear it after this: pic.twitter.com/ebSUWqY3Mn

— Paddy Power (@paddypower) June 9, 2017

Predictable Brexit players all rallying around Rees-Mogg over his Grenfell comments thus ensuring they remain in the news cycle for longer. Not convinced that's going to help their cause in the long run.

Lol omg

i can't fuckin believe it pic.twitter.com/uATi17dXOA

— 𝔐𝔞𝔤𝔫𝔢𝔱𝔰 🧲 (@PerthshireMags) November 5, 2019

I saw!!! He was so fucking mad about it, he spent his whole evening responding to randos.

Telegraph's poppy is the most fuckable of all poppies. Apple w/ a butthole (I know, I know, it's serious) as a poppy = always a winner.

(garbled post that simply means vote tories obv)

Speaking of thirstposting

Keir Starmer is a "fit man", Jeremy Corbyn declares. "He plays football."

— Matt Honeycombe-Foster (@matt_hfoster) November 5, 2019

The latter doesn't necessarily imply the former.

Pumped for all the professional footballers coming out to defend the kulaks tomorrow before deleting their accounts in humiliation after confusing Joseph Stalin with Nigel Farage.

— I (@trevorbastard) November 6, 2019