Ne'er get thee stitched til Booris be ditched: UK General Election 2019

I always saw her as a very ascetic Van Gogh type character who is happy with a nice simple wooden chair and a table and a pot of stew on the stove. This makes her seem a bit of a grasping and material wealth driven person, I'm shocked!

The Chief Exec of Ipsos MORI has just tweeted and deleted he's been told by a constituency party that Johnson is going to confirm a switch to a safe seat by Friday.

wooden chair, pot of stew, enabling capitalism

massive pay off for being a shit Tory, pot of stew, mono radio in the kitchen

watching Dave on Freeview, pot of stew, knifing the working class in the face, chicken korma

pot of stew, legitimate concerns, following John Harris on Twitter, big pile of Asda carrier bags

really fancy a pot of stew now tbh

ed stewpot stewart, bristol stool chart, we didn't start the fire

Oi @Jacob_Rees_Mogg you need to resign you’re an actual piece of shit I beg everyone watch this - MP Jacob Rees Mogg in a nutshell saying Grenfell Victims should of had the common sense to escape. I can’t believe the cheek fucking hell these politicians are actual aliens pic.twitter.com/aQ4NxwdBCG

— SOUNDS OF THE SKENG & WILEY FLOW OUT NOW ⚔️ (@stormzy) November 5, 2019

My man said “if either of us were in fire, whatever the fire brigade said, we’d leave a burning building” as if to say “come on bro, they were just dumb” as if those who lost their lives weren’t smart enough to escape. Fucking hell this man is the scummiest 🤢

— SOUNDS OF THE SKENG & WILEY FLOW OUT NOW ⚔️ (@stormzy) November 5, 2019

You can’t even make this stuff up. Donny said “If you JUST ignore what you’re told and leave you are so much safer” BRUV!!!!! Let’s bare in mind for 2 secs how horrifiying and terrifying the situation would of been for the victims. Deep that for 2 secs.

— SOUNDS OF THE SKENG & WILEY FLOW OUT NOW ⚔️ (@stormzy) November 5, 2019

And then imagine they’re being instructed by fire fighters - trusted government authorities - to stay put. This scumbag is saying “well boy you lot are dumb to of listened then” can you imagine ?!!!!Oi get this prick out of here these man are scumbags and they are wicked and evil

— SOUNDS OF THE SKENG & WILEY FLOW OUT NOW ⚔️ (@stormzy) November 5, 2019

stormzy otm

Big love for Stormzy

and that prick wonders why angry crowds are screaming murderous hatred at him and causing his little brat to piss his pants, and that's just the middle class FBPE mob!

At least he's incapable of concealing his psychopathy, which I like to believe makes him less dangerous.

nowt worse than being pelted with gluten free wholemeal bagels

rees mogg unsurprisingly blaming the victims rather than the scumbag landlords (tory councils included) who profit from renting out unsafe and substandard housing

Stormzy 🔥

you can’t keep snakes in the garden and think they’ll only bite your neighbours.

well there goes that idea

pot of stew, snakes in your garden, Paul Nicholas's "Reggae Like It Used To Be", beef Monster Munch, funny tinge, grown-ups in the room, over 50s plan, Oak Furnitureland, Greg Wallace

there it is, ilx's bleakest post

Things going smoothly for the Tories so far.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/nov/05/dont-sign-pledges-on-nhs-or-climate-tory-hq-tells-candidates

ffs

The 11-page briefing note explains the party’s position on nine key areas and “strongly advises” prospective Tory MPs “against signing up to any pledges” unless they have been agreed from the centre.

However, supporting shooting is allowed “as an important part of rural life”, the document says.

gotta say, i'm feeling pretty good about labour and the tories' respective rollouts of their campaigns so far

(narrator: he shouldn't have)

I dunno I'm cool with shooting vermin tbh

what's the briefing re. keeping greg wallace in your garden?

stew in every pot, a wallace in every garden iirc

this from the same article is just screamingly nihilistic

Climate change. Tory candidates are told that many campaigns to tackle climate change “contain unrealistic targets that would be impossible to achieve” and that it would be better to focus on “practical, reasonable steps to protect our planet while keeping bills down”. The memo claims Labour does not have a credible approach to the problem

stopping the literal end of the world is too hard, let's not bother eh chaps

idk whether the Tories think JRM is an asset or whether they're just too disorganised to arrange for him to be locked in an attic until the election is over.

Excuse me, got bills to pay.

(xp)

Pretty good piece (no investigation as such) although the gap for me is what happens -- as is likely -- Swinson is voted out. Would there be a shift?

https://www.huckmag.com/perspectives/opinion-perspectives/what-do-the-lib-dems-actually-want-an-investigation/

can't imagine why there'd be a shift in a party which has literally absorbed tories into its quivering corpus, society-style

we really do live in a society

Great now I'm gonna have dreams about Vince Cables shoving his head up somebody's anus

idk if Ed Davey is up for it but it would be legit hilarious, if he isn't, for the party to have to make a choice between an ex-Labour candidate and an ex-Tory one at the next leadership election. I can't imagine it'll have an impact on continuity Orange Book policy either way, though.

fucking finally, i'll not be suffering along anymore xp

er, alone

This is where an investigation into their activist base would be useful. I get the sense that some are really unhappy at the Tory MP intake. If Lab end up being the largest party with no majority...be interesting to see what the LDs could be up for.

Potentially, yes. I think Layla Moran is probably the last of your actual Lib Dems in with a shot of being a future leader, beyond that it'd be down to someone like Allen or Berger. I can't see either of them being any more enthusiastic about putting Corbyn in no.10 than Swinson is. I wouldn't bet against more of the activist base simply drifting away if an ex-Tory took over.

Lib Dem activist is oxymoronic tbf

Lindsay obviously the right man for the speaker's chair as he is already used to watching the action from sideways on

JRM "profoundly sorry" for his Grenfell comments the lying cunt

the gap for me is what happens -- as is likely -- Swinson is voted out. Would there be a shift?

The big question! Its difficult to know because we only ever see or hear Swinson, actual LDs seem more difficult to locate. I think they'll swing behind whoever comes in and if the delivery is right they'll shift to what that is (if it is a shift). I'n not sure content really matters, just as Brexit is now whatever Boris says it is. I think they can shift away from Remain pretty easily if necessary

https://www.huckmag.com/perspectives/opinion-perspectives/what-do-the-lib-dems-actually-want-an-investigation/

They don't really want anything, other than primacy. Identity politics isn't about the tangible, so there's nothing there to want, other than seats at the table. This idea of looking for tangibility and substance in places it doesn't exist, its the same mistake repeated

I think they can shift away from Remain pretty easily if necessary

This is the one thing they cannot do?

This idea of looking for tangibility and substance in places it doesn't exist, its the same mistake repeated

cf the Labour government 1997-2010

no more skeletons in the closet, definitely not: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-politics-50302172

Bridgen blasting holes in the sinking boat on PM right now

[Q: Did Rees-Mogg want to say he would not have stayed put?] That is exactly what he wanted to say.

[Q: Is he saying he is cleverer than the people who died?] *silence* But we want very clever people running the country, don't we? Jacob is very well educated ... very clever ... we need people like that. People will want the very best people, the brightest and best making decisions for them. Nothing that Jacob said detracts from his ability to make the best decision for people.

Incredibly thoughtful and careful interview from @ABridgen right now on #pm.

— emily m (@maitlis) November 5, 2019

fuck me

nuke london

(sorry for all the collateral damage but the media class would be decimated in a stroke)