Ne'er get thee stitched til Booris be ditched: UK General Election 2019

oh boy i can't wait to see the calibre of candidates they've managed to rustle up

LOLz, yes.

May was always a baldrick, johnson basically is too,

One of the things that gives me hope is Johnson is a shit campaigner and lazy and useless if goaded or under pressure or faced with people who don't buy into his shitty persona.

There is no way Johnson can accept the ultimatum of dropping the Withdrawal Agreement which is Farage’s ask. Farage must know this so I assume it’s an offer designed to be rejected. So we must assume the Brexit Party will contest virtually every seat. No “leave alliance”

— Lewis Goodall (@lewis_goodall) November 1, 2019

why can't our big brexit boys just get along ;_;

Day 2 off to a good start

Farage says he is open to being flexible in particular seats.
He suggests, if MPs are willing to renounce Boris Johnson’s deal, his party will stand aside.
And he says there could be informal pacts on the ground between Brexit supporters.

After the election rules kick in and leaders must publish itineraries, all BJ hospital visits will feature crowds chanting NOT FOR SALE.

I'm not optimistic, because this it's the knowledge of just how many people you live among are stupid feckless vicious cunts and because literally everything seems to be fucking awful and will not stop being awful

I don't think Labour will be massacred. but I can see Johnson scraping through

Unseatings I am particularly relishing the prospect of in order: Johnson (assuming he doesn't bottle it), IDS, Nigel Dodds, Mark Choker Field's now vacant seat in the City, BEN BRADLEY FFS, Phil Davies, Soubry, Kawczynski and both Jared and C Williamson as long as labour beat both. JRM losing might be the most incredible one that could actually happen (I think the LD support there may have already nixed this tho).

The most amazing probably unassailable majority in the 'wtf how is this possible' sense remains with Dorries

I was at Labour's official campaign launch yesterday.

JC was inspirational.

The Guardian immediately reported it as: Doubts about JC's future.

Maybe this is really one for the Guardian thread.

s/o to the awful B listers about to be unseated like kirstene hair, ross thomson, ben bradley etc

Nashwan, you forgot Swinson losing to SNP!

I forgot Scotland altogether tbfttl but yes all Tories north of the Wall

No way is Jared O'Mara contesting his seat? Watching Gapes go should be fun as well. Also Chris Leslie.

I forgot Mara had withdrawn too yes, can't keep up

When do those fairness rules kick in?

Excellent from Momentum: https://www.mycampaignmap.com/

'No events found here' lol.

xxp
after Colbyn has had a few more kickings and his stasi collaboration files and a photo of childhood him stomping a rabbit to death have been posted to 40 million homes.

excuse me, he pogo-sticked a rabbit to death iirc

in case you missed the reference

pic.twitter.com/2LdE1hJNoj

— The Trashies (@TheTrashiesUK) November 1, 2019

one's a deranged clown bent on reshaping the world to fit his depraved vision and the other is &c &c

otm

What this highlights is Corbyn’s bravery. That Miliband can come out with this now is worth something but Corbyn’s bravery as leader has created the space. https://t.co/TpI61Aup25

— Tom Gann (@Tom_Gann) November 1, 2019

Corbyn first showed this bravery when he spotted that a friend's rabbit was actually evil and possessed by the spirit of General Woundwort ....

i take some optimism from the grading-on-a-curve situation. (As said, the Tories need a decent majority here to win, Lab just needs enough to cobble together a fuck-Brexit pact.)

Stop Brexit would be lovely/funny but it's hard to get energized about a Labour government strapped to the festering corpse of the Lib Dems when it comes to the real business of actually making this country one percent less shitty

I can't see any circumstances under which the Lib Dems would go into any sort of governing coalition with Corbyn. It would have to be Labour and SNP or Labour, Lib Dems and SNP with a leader of the LD's choosing.

yeah, i was gonna say, swindon has made it abundantly clear that the idea of actually doing something decent for once in her life is abhorrent, so i don't think we'll be seeing a lablib coalition in this timeline

Swindon will be gone on the 12th but possibly replaced by some other abhorrent twat

Agree with all above. I honestly think it's more conceivable LibDem, despite their Brexit stance, would hitch up - again - with the Tories than w/ Labour.

some might even suggest that it's secretly what they're hoping for

oh i think that's entirely possible but it's also possible that a Labour minority government will have to come to some sort of rapprochement with the Lib Dems

True, true.

'secretly' in the sense that they're hoping that the voting public isn't going to notice all the tories they've been hoovering up into their ranks recently and who are now pressing their leering faces against the undulating, straining skein of the libdem body politic as they hunger for the blood of the sick, the poor and the old xxp

and that's just Chuka

he must be excited at the prospect of finally getting the chance to have a real hand in murdering society's undesirables

"We have always been pragmatists not idealogues, and as such we think we are best placed, as Remainers, to steer a clear path into a post-Brexit future alongside the Conservatives, keeping them on the straight and narrow

The country has to come together and it is incumbent on us, the adults in the room, to make the first move and offer an olive branch to those who have a different view on our future. Brexit is going to happen, that much is now inevitable, it can happen without us, or with us, guiding and even leading the process, who better than a strong Remainer to forge a path that avoids the pitfalls of the worst excesses of extremists on our left and right, and begin the healing process

Jo"

just choked back a bit of vomit there, cheers anvil

I bought my laptop second hand from a Lib Dem MP and I just found this weird file that's called "gullible scum ha ha ha". It's just hundreds of bar charts with them in 2nd place, even the seats where they already have MPs.

— Simon Hedges #BeKindOnline (@Orwell_Fan) October 31, 2019

I'm thinking here of the first SNP Holyrood adminstration, which ran as a minority with loads of people who hated them. And look at them now.

Yeah, no chance at all of a LD coalition, especially not a long-lasting one, but it'd be very difficult for them not to support a minority Lab govt's 2nd ref bill.

yeah, i was gonna say, swindon has made it abundantly clear that the idea of actually doing something decent for once in her life is abhorrent, so i don't think we'll be seeing a lablib coalition in this timeline

And Lib Dems never break their promises.

No chance of it from the Labour direction, the Lib Dems meanwhile would go into a coalition with anyone.

apropos of nothing, was just reminded of vince cable's 'erotic spasm' and now my weekend is ruined

Agree with all above. I honestly think it's more conceivable LibDem, despite their Brexit stance, would hitch up - again - with the Tories than w/ Labour.

― Le Bateau Ivre, Friday, 1 November 2019 bookmarkflaglink

Except LDs won't help the Tories deliver Brexit. It's a bigger thing for them than tuition fees, and they know the damage from last time they told lies.

Besides, Swinson might not survive this election. I don't actually think they will be able to by-pass the Labour membership's preference for a left-wing leader to select their own leader. Corbyn may not survive but it won't be at the expense of policy.

xps

Vince Cable slash thread y/n?

we're posting in it afaic

There’s no way in Hell that Labour as the largest party would let a junior coalition partner shout the odds on who their leader is.

are their rules to allow for the leadership to change without a leadership election?

oh, bollockspaws...

1,000+ RTs for this absolutely untrue bullshit. Twitter is a joke sometimes. https://t.co/qU3qO61Pa0

— James Ball (@jamesrbuk) November 1, 2019

it's true, twitter is a joke sometimes