star wars 9 grim resignation thread

difficult listening hour wrote this on thread Star Wars 7 shit talk on board I Love Everything on Apr 23, 2014

nar shaddaa or no deal imo

difficult listening hour wrote this on thread Star Wars 8 shit talk on board I Love Everything on Dec 22, 2017

GIVE CLAP ME CLAP NAR CLAP SHADDAA

difficult listening hour wrote this on thread Star Wars Anthology shit talk (Rogue One, Young Solo, TBD) on board I Love Everything on May 27, 2018

hi. does this movie have nar shaddaa

sigh

Nar Shaddah, Nar Shaddah
El-elyon an adonah

(That joke was for JCLC only and he will never see it.)

Hahahaha

lollll

i thought for sure shanana would be in solo

https://www.paradiseartists.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/bowzers-rock-photo01.jpg

surely Luke will turn out to be Rey's dad, or maybe Obi-Wan

planet bearing an uncanny resemblance to mid-20th-century earth

― difficult listening hour, Tuesday, October 22, 2019 6:02 PM (five hours ago)

oh my god, i was wrong
it was earth, all along

xp neither of those guys got nookie IIRC

oh my god, i was wrong
it was earth, all along

you finally made a Wookiee out of me

holy shit, the opening crawl leaked!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfSS1OuA3ag

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCskuXWh2l8

Not for long.

lol it very much wasn't the crawl. it was a joke video that i suspect Youtube took down

Copyright claim by Anti-Nowhere League

has abrams ever made a non-mediocre movie

well, there's all the bad ones

Lol

lol

his film credits listing is extremely grim

which I guess makes him perfect for this

I know JJ said he loved TLJ and hinted he wasn't looking to undo it, but troll part of me wishes that he would, and then he and Rian Johnson would alternate directing/writing Star Wars movies every two years and change things back, basically getting into cinema's version of a Wikipedia reversion war

Star Wars XII: Nuh Uh!

Damn, seeing this in exactly two weeks but my expectations feel sufficiently lowered thanks to all.

I'm gonna love it

3P0 having a bigger (sacrificial?) role this time should be a plus. Don't really care about Lando tbh.

I had to actually check a week or so ago to see whether this was coming out this year or next. So clearly I'm v pumped.

lando is great and will always have a special place in my heart for his role in the best scene of rotj (the first scene over endor when they realize that it's, uh, a trap)

thank god someone is out here asking the questions that matter

pic.twitter.com/PXuNXTfbRi

— Bad Legal Takes (@BadLegalTakes) December 9, 2019

Like, a creative citizens arrest?

There aren't many problems that can't be resolved with a fan fiction council, ime.

disney is famously forgiving of copyright infringement, i can't see what could possibly go wrong

Maybe SW should be and Choose Your Own Adventure

Unhealthy enthusiasm is nine-tenths of the law, iirc.

xpost Doesn't matter what you choose, all stories end with the death star exploding.

there are only three stories: man vs man, man vs death star, and death star vs death star

Man vs Death Star features Hulk Hogan cameo

Forget a cameo, if I were the producer of a franchise whose fanbase bitched this much, Hulk Hogan would be promoted to star in all forthcoming installments. Maybe even in multiple roles as if it were a mid-period Eddie Murphy joint.

for motivation Abrams had to tell Hulk to imagine the Death Star was Gawker

shit sorry I forgot the fourth story, hulk vs gawker

https://media1.tenor.com/images/373ed593a25afb96bad7bdad96ff1c29/tenor.gif

speaking of Old Lunch, here comes mine

[INT: DEATH STAR COMMAND DECK. GENERAL HUX and KYLO REN are watching a flickering holographic message from rebel leader HULK HOGAN]

HULK: lemme tell ya, brother, hulkamania is gonna be runnin' wild over the death star, just like i ran wild over bubba the love sponge's wife

oh god

that reddit post is great bc the poster is basically asking what if star wars fans made their own content that didnt contain star wars branded elements - "Disney doesnt own the rights to lasers, space, people using abilities, etc" - in other words, create original intellectual property. But their brain is so warped by 21st-century fandom that they cant quiiiite grasp the idea of content thats not from preexisting IP, so theyre like "what if star wars, but NOT star wars, it would be like, OTHER star wars, could we get in trouble for it being star wars?"

Like hes hit upon the idea of it being possible for something other than star wars to exist but cant quite figure out how to articulate it from within his worldview of 'star wars is everything'. Kind of thrilling to read tbh, like someone trying to break out of the matrix

even the reddit people mocking the OP cant conceive of the idea non-branded creativity: "Just because you don't like the Disney movies doesnt mean you can make your OWN movies! How spoiled of you!"

What's even the point of a story without droids or at least one jedi in it, and how would that even work, I don't, I can't (nose begins to freely bleed)

In a galaxy far, far up my own ass

at last, spaceballs 2: the search for more money

I think assuming the person wants a space fantasy that's similar to Star Wars but isn't Star Wars is a really generous read of the question

They really want their own cultivated fandom where they toss out a bunch of things, throw other stuff in from non-canon books, and then write new fanfic or create fan movies. I don't think they hit on something non-Star Wars, but just want a Star Wars that panders directly to their own ideas about what should happen

i ended up on some reddit thread about people's creative dreams and so many of them were to write or create a star wars comic or something in the marvel universe, etc