PMs change and lol we're all gonna die (but brexit will never end)

I’ve stayed off Instagram, even though there’s an argument that I need it for work as much as Twitter. Pretty sure I’ll register there when I get my own dog, so I can bore the internet to death with #whippetsofinstagram

I restrict my twitter Douglas the cutie big boy labbie posts to about once every 3 months, to spare my massive legion of followers my sloppy doggo side!

Meanwhile, the case at the Supreme Court, Lord Pannick had the government in a, er, panic on the first day but the efforts of a showboating Scottish lawyer yesterday and a bellicose whingeing Ulsterman today may have swung things back in their favour.

Guardian reporting the government are pessimistic though?

Wishful thinking if you ask me.

is that whingeing Ulsterman called Lavery? I've just caught the odd bit of fragmented commentary on this probably predictable waste of time.

He is. I'm only following the Guardian feed, I've no idea how he came across irl but he did get, more or less, told to sit down and shut up.

i look forward to seeing some piss-funny articles from Spectator hacks about how public schools serve social mobility, actually

― a wagging to the furious (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 18 September 2019 13:42 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

lol guess what i've just been listening to on the radio

Nelson Fraser ?

it was a woman, i didn't check out who i was just in the kitchen for 5 mins and got the full "raising standards, internationally renowned, waaaaaah parents have rights", it was pretty fun

in the pub for lunch now and BREAKING NEWS caption on bbc news is that the queen wasnt happy about being described as 'purring' which is about as far from breaking news as you can get and who the fuck cares anyway?

might have been Ste Laura arguing with her tho

Is this about when Cameron said he shagged the queen

t/s: boris and laura k in a sweat-drenched embrace vs cameron and brenda going at it hammer and tongs on the buck house carpet

Faiza Shaheen calling David Cameron a twat on #PoliticsLive is getting set as my new ringtone. pic.twitter.com/N51Ii8IESY

— Ash Sarkar (@AyoCaesar) September 19, 2019

this has made my afternoon

if i know the BBC they'll have followed that up with a phone-in poll

maybe the only time in history that the phrase 'i have to agree with danny dyer' is followed by an indisputable truth

it's shocking that he was right once, but there you go!

The likelihood of such glorious sooth being expressed on live TV is much higher here than it is in North America so props for that.

The Danny Dyer episode of Who Do You Think You Are? is still one of the most glorious things aired on UK television these past few years.

He's related to the Queen. Or sumthin'.

He’s gonna treat himself to a ruff.

The ladies like a bit of it.

The fucking state of this pt.15643

Great that @bbclaurak will be joining @DouglasKMurray, Rod Liddle and me in the political wing of Wormwood Scrubs when Comrade Corbyn seizes power.

— Toby Young (@toadmeister) September 18, 2019

Retweeted by Alison Pearson, obviously devastated she'd been left of the list and who is still insisting Mr Salem was "pretending to be a normal user of the NHS".

I mean, if only there WAS room in the Scrubs, amirite?

it's no good locking up enemies of the people, they need to be used as fertiliser.

yet more evidence that a corbyn premiership would usher in a better world

Wormwood Scrubs too good for 'em.

yeah Tobes really doesn't realise what's coming for him

Pannick is a cross bench peer as well as a QC. They are now hearing his submission with the weight of a parliamentarian behind it - as to the right remedy.
I'm calling this for the Claimants. I think it's over.

— Dinah Rose QC (@DinahRoseQC) September 19, 2019

Pannick is good, pity about that Scottish clown paying for the cameras yesterday though.

Toby Young's already seeking asylum in Budapest I see.

That's it, court is adjourned.

The judges will take the weekend to consider and we'll have their answer early next week.

— Hannah Al-Othman (@HannahAlOthman) September 19, 2019

lol it's like test cricket is this

Hopefully now this is over my brain will stop looping the chorus of 'Senser - Age of Panic' at least until early next week

5 weeks'll be up before they've made their minds up

the thought had occurred to me

"and in a shock double whammy ruling, Toby Young to be sent to Wormwood Scrubs' nonce wing"

even though Julie Burchill is awful, her withering descriptions of what an imbecilic, nasty, shallow little spoilt brat man-boy Toby Young was from their Modern Review days were very amusing at the time. He was a kerb crawler, he was rudely baldist against Nick Hornby even though he was receding himself, he worshipped celebrities to the point he said he'd give Stallone a blow-job.. there was more but I've forgotten tbh because he's not that interesting, but I would be genuinely happy if I heard he'd been shot dead or something

he was rudely baldist against Nick Hornby even though he was receding himself

truly the worst of all possible crimes

He actually said NH shouldn't be writing for the MR because he was "too bald and old looking"

I wrote music stuff for Modern Review under Kodwo Eshun and I will always hate Toby Young for spiking all the work people did on what turned out to be the final issue and replacing it with his ‘best of’ to serve as a calling card for his move to America and Vanity Fair.

he'd give Stallone a blow-job

'cup the balls, work the shaft' is sly's preferred technique toby iirc

NH shouldn't be writing cos he's shite tbf

truedat!

And bald.

no baldshaming itt pls

― don’t bore us, get to the aeon of horus (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 6 September 2019 20:08 (one week ago) bookmarkflaglink

his cute middle class white boy with autism trope has become the template for shit autism drama for the last decade and a half now - the useless fucking smug slaphead!

sorry self-shamer here!

god imagine being stuck in a jail cell and the only thing to read was a choice between TY and NH, do you think you could fashion a solid rope out of papier mache?

the real flex would be growing your hair long and then using it as a noose