Blue Saturday

update hes making a dash for it

flanking him cos thats what the union would want

process of elimination we've got Braga and Besiktas, that's a spicy meatball

dude at the ceremony completely fucking up his calls, classic material

dickhead English presenter just described our ties as "spicy", we have a lurker ladies and gentlemen

and Bratislava. fun group :)

hes gone away safe. sorry man i got nothing else to keep you here.

i just went to the shop, to get out, and it was nice being outside, and i didn't know what the hell i wanted, so i thought i'd go and get my "Michael Palin at the beginning of Monty Python" hair cut, but the atm was broke, so i went in the little mini Tesco, and i dithered, and i thought 'fuck it, pub', so i started off up the street, then i talked myself down, then i went back to the shop, then i dithered around it for 15 minutes like a crazy person, decided all i wanted to eat was veggie burgers and sweets, bought same, came home, think the urges have passed for now,

i have no idea why i'm doing anything but hey

That's honestly impressive, NV. Keep it up – booze can be pretty fucking tedious, even when you're a fan (and god knows I am).

thanks pom, like i say i don't know why not except it doesn't make anything better even if it's never gonna be better. after last week's three dayer i literally thought i was about to die on Sunday - not sure if huge hangover panic or body sending out distress flares but terrifying feeling if only because while i honestly think i'd be better off not here the moment of crossing over is scary shit also i shouldn't inflict my untimely death or indeed cleaning up my house on my loved ones i know

The hardest thing is projecting yourself into a long-term future, which requires some amount of (I'm loath to use this word but fuck it…) faith. That's when the benefits become utterly undeniable and you go 'fuck me for not doing this earlier'. It's a 40 days and 40 nights-type scenario, but it really does pay off in spades. The trick is to keep yourself busy with… whatever, really (video games usually do it for me).

keep duckin and divin nv

well done NV, hope the day seems better after getting out of the house for a bit at least

also I am admittedly a crazy person but "dithering around the shop for a seemingly unfeasibly amount of time" describes my normal shopping routine tbh

keep on keepin' on, much <3

spicy beanburger now confirming i made the right choice

<3 everybody, thanks, sorry for rattling on but i think it kinda helps me deal

"dithering around the shop for a seemingly unfeasibly amount of time" is basically a mini-break for me

i quite like spicy beanburgers sliced up in a wrap with mayo and salad. It's Healthy therefore you can cook half a packet of oven chips with them

breadcake, lettuce, tomato, mayo - i am cruelly omnivorous but sometimes a beanburger is exactly what you want

If I'm going healthy I'll make cheese burgers with Linda McCartney mozzarella burgers but slice a load of spicy grilled wensleydale and onions on top of them. yum!

tbf the bar of chocolate i'm gonna eat next is probably not healthy

chocolate is made from a plant

Everything is natural.

that's right. go with god

/eɪˈmɛn/ or /ɑːˈmɛn/?

Ramen

(Link Wray & His) Ray Men

Itsu good

making the next few hours feel considerably better

it doesn't make anything better

just gonna leave yr two posts juxtaposed there, glad they came in that order

I feel ya though. it's been a week now and the only time I drank was Saturday night all alone and I had 4 cans of fairly strong IPA and felt like total garbage all night and well into Sunday

also, I've said this before but the shuffle playlist at the top of the thread is an all-time inspiration to me and a true work of art

Thanks sleeve :)

Otherwise this thread is kinda testamentary to nothing but negative progress, eight years (and all the rest) of bashing my skull against the same walls. But that's life, I'm not complaining. Your head has to go thru eventually.

"I'm not dead yet!"

because i seem to have accumulated several lifetimes of bad karma, last night i realised i've got fucking bedbugs. god knows how - cannot think of anything from the outside that i've brought in in months, and this feels very rapid, like the last couple of days

middle of the night stripping all the bedding putting it into a 90 degree wash but kinda pointless cos no dryer to blast it with and no way of dealing with the source problem, trying to isolate my bedroom as much as possible but now faced with making the house tidy enough to bring in the professional pest controllers, i feel like fucking Job except you know without being righteous before the Lord in the first place

if i make it thru today that's seven days sober but come the fuck on something isn't playing fair

nb this isn't depressing in itself just ENOUGH ALREADY I GET IT

christ, very Job like. seven days ongoing would be a massive up yours to that karma tho.

i don't really have the energy or the inclination for the pub today tbf, tho i wd like to just be there in company if i didn't have to do anything about it

i'll probably stop at home and post too much again instead. Wolves on TV tomorrow, that will be a sterner test of non-resolve

might need a corner shop/chippie run at some point maybe

Bedbugs can get onto you from other peoples clothes or belongings afaik? Anyway post as much as you like and get to seven days. What will you get in the corner shop.

craving Vimto squash and idk what really, my appetite is like an 18th century fop with the vapours lately

i've had one other person in bed, weeks ago, no visitors to speak of. i'm in a mid-terrace and wondering if they can somehow make their way across from a neighbours tbh. i figure there's no point me spending money on chemicals and doing the job wrong, gonna give the council a ring on Monday and see when they can get somebody out to give pro advice/treatment. at least it's gonna force me to do some of the tidying i've been apathetically avoiding for months

nah, not an 18th century fop, like the protagonist of À rebours, that's what i've become. except without the money, like.

Yeah get the council to sort. Don’t think I’ve ever had Vimto. Is your corner shop like ours in that it does brands and things you’ve never heard of and dodgy Russian Kinder eggs, or is it just a normal one?

i've got an old school sweets, cigs and porn mags corner shop and a Polish-run random European delicacies including Russian Kinder eggs shop both at the end of my street, and a mini Tesco two minutes further away on the main road, so i'm spoilt for choice really. i haven't been hungry in weeks i don't think but i get these occasional brain cravings for a v specific taste and then it wrestles it out with my desire to never leave the house (sober) ever again. really not craving booze atm so that's handy.

2019 Vimto cordial is a sad, watery, sugar-light parody of what it was when i was a kid but it's wired into my dna at some childhood level

Every day (when) I lie here stuck in feelings of futility, inability to focus on any distracting activity, loneliness, hopelessness, regret, attachment, inner/outer ugliness, deeeeespair

well that's when I run off to the pub, the only exit route my pea brain can grasp at

it never lasts, I have to come back

ah fuck. I think I'm not gonna drink today but fuck

Did you?

Still sober :) yay me

Tomorrow tho hmmm

hi NV I haven't made it a week yet but tomorrow I will

2 nights ago, approx. 1 hour after I said to my spouse "I need to just fucking man up about some of this shit" there is a RAT IN THE FUCKING BATHROOM, had to dig around in the basement, figure out how to set a spring trap after years, set it, put it in there and close the door (there was a window cracked to outside). rat has vanished, trap unsprung. wariness continues.

OK there is a definite universal conspiracy against getting your shit together for some reason

xp :)

Good luck with tomorrow and also with the bugs, I am combing fleas off the kittens so I feel your pain on that score

Don’t think I’ve ever had Vimto

Disgraceful. Fizzy > lollipop > cordial.

Never had any of the stuff. Did you know it’s a big thing at Eid? There’s no shortage of Vimto everything in much of the Middle East.
https://www.vimtoarabia.com/prod/

Yeah I did know cos I've bought Saudi Vimto before and it's much more like the old UK formula

Never much cared for fizzy drinks tbh

every morning I start the day with a glass of Rocks Orange concentrate mixed with sparkling water. That's a very wholesome type of fizzy drink imo.

Yeah mixing most cordials with sparkling water is good. Tetley weirdly do this lime and elderflower one that’s really good but barely available anywhere.

yall just fyi this mix of deep house classics put a huge smile on my face this morning

https://soundcloud.com/rinsefm/chaosinthecbd230819

I'll be on that tomorrow morning :)