The car's on fire and there's no driver at the wheel - The Tory leadership elections

Regardless Johnson lied and inflated his figures when bragging about it last week.

gun crime in Hudds seems to be at the same level as Moss Side in the 90's now. I can remember getting held up in the Sheepridge bookies by armed robbers and it made the front page of The Examiner!

"back in't late 90's you could kick about an armed robbery hold-up anecdote in the street and...

Stop blaming us for your dodgy dad, calz! You wouldn’t say that to Johnny Mc. Would you?

Because I am childishly still amused by the yougov profiles, here’s Rory’s:

Rory Stewart is the 46th most popular Conservative politician and the 58th most famous. Rory Stewart is described by fans as: Admirable, Good speaker, Well Educated, Intelligent and Clever.

Other things liked by Rory Stewart fans:

https://yougov.co.uk/topics/media/explore/tv_programme/Murder_Uncovered
Murder Uncovered lol

the murder uncovered is jeremy hunt culling the entire older generation

Michael Gove is the 20th most popular Conservative politician and the 9th most famous. Michael Gove is described by fans as: Intelligent, Committed, Clever, Conservative and One to watch.

John McDonnell is the 26th most popular Labour politician and the 25th most famous. John McDonnell is described by fans as: Admirable, Honest, Stands up for ordinary people, Positive and Intelligent.

one to keep an eye on

a danger

michael gove wants watching marelike

xp Hunt

Jeremy Hunt is the 19th most popular Conservative politician and the 6th most famous. Jeremy Hunt is described by fans as: Conservative, Intelligent, Articulate, Good speaker and Ambitious.

Other things liked by Boris Johnson fans

Blackburn Rovers F.C.
Audi RS2
Ian Rush
Brian Glover
Shandy Bass
Rosamund Pike
Accrington Stanley F.C.

xps to zebra - ‘tis a rare beast that can move on land and in the sea

Boris Johnson 126
Jeremy Hunt 46
Michael Gove 41
Rory Stewart 37
Sajid Javid 33
Dominic Raab 30

Raab out. So Rory can get stuck right intae Bozza tonight.

xp Raab out, Javid just on 33, Stewart up to fourth (on 37), Boris only picked up 11 votes to 126 (assuming he's not galaxy-braining to lend votes to preferred opponents)

Ah fuck I forgot about the seamonster thread

Wonder who May voted for?

Well, I’ve got a friend coming over for dinner and the latest episode of a dystopian shitshow and we’re also watching Years & Years.

The makeup crew will be relieved Raab’s out anyway.

"Rory Stewart 37"

YES KING

Gove must be shitting himself but as that’s his normal facial expression it’s difficult to say.

He is calm and shitting himself as he normally does

https://www.picclickimg.com/d/l400/pict/323322499888_/STINGRAY-Card-12-THE-AQUAPHIBIANS.jpg

Echoes of Lamont

Not ready for Raab

Raabz, he shits it

xxxp he is blinking rapidly while doing so

Is the Saj the only human left in the race?

Boris - honey monster
Hunt - whatever he is, it doesn’t blink
Gove - Lovecraftian monster
Stewart - sea monster
Javid - human???

raab seabiscuit now an also ran

javid is a moon monster

TV guide listing for the last debate:

No but tell us how you really feel The Guardian 🤣 pic.twitter.com/nNKiLEXk9i

— Declan Cashin (@Tweet_Dec) June 15, 2019

the legacy of tvgohome is a long one

Dr Who exclusively reveals Javid is some kind of sentient alien seaweed masquerading as a human.

https://images.immediate.co.uk/production/volatile/sites/3/2010/11/158.jpg

Javid is clearly a Baker-era Sontaran

Javid - human???

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bZsZ1XhTVDs/VVOWFn4JO3I/AAAAAAAAJBA/940QKThvorM/s1600/sontaran%2B1.jpg

(xp)

"now I have borrowed May's garb, time to deport some more refugee orphans"

Some light humour from what I hope is a parody account

No fan of Rory Stewart. Just another Tory Brexiter knob. But -

I DO NOT get the logic of saying he can't be PM because 'he might have spied for MI6'.

Guys, guys... MI6 are on OUR side. You do know that, right?

— We Need EU 🇪🇺 🇪🇺 🇪🇺 (@WeNeedEU) June 18, 2019

I'd guess May voted for Hunt, possibly Stewart with an outside chance of Javid

I wish i had your faith gyac

I read or heard something earlier that she'd switched to Stewart as she'd decided he was the best chance of getting her WA through without writing his name on it or something.

it's a lonely path that Javid walks, nobody from the bald (alien egg-head) community wants to claim him as one of theirs, he's shunned by the Con-home community and the Asian community all think he's a total prick. But lol.. fuck him!

The afternoon Desi Twitter accused him of using boil-in-the-bag rice was top online clowning tbf.

All 30 of those Raab votes are going to Johnson so expect the other three to descend on the Saj's 33 endorsements like a pack of ravenous hyenas.

Now picturing poor Saj’s votes as Scar at the very end of the Lion King

FWIW: if all Raab's votes went to Johnson, and all the other candidates merged into a single Anyone But Boris bloc, the ABB bloc would be just one single vote ahead.

The Irish love Gove and Gove loves the Irish

Is this the debate? Jesus Christ.

This is just like Blind Date except that the winner's going to fuck everyone #BBCOurNextPM pic.twitter.com/RI01EHCJJG

— Neil Miles (@neilsmiles) June 18, 2019

Total shitshow, Emily Maitlis would be better off herding cats.

Michael Gove has a plan

Rory 'Stewpot' Stewart signalling his difference by not wearing a tie and perching on the edge of his stool with his feet planted on the studio floor.

Who knew a Brexit Party voter could be a cunt?