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Dale: Dad. We're men, okay? That means a few things; we like to shit with the door open, we talk about pussy, we like to go on riverboat gambling trips, and we make our own beef jerky. That's what we do. And now that is all wrecked.
Robert: We literally have never done any of those things.

Dale: I just don't think there is any reason why we should. Robert takes him by the arm. (The rest laughs.)
Robert: How are you not a cop?
Dale: (in a deep voice) I'm a farmer, and he's an officer here. It's not like we're living with you guys.
Robert sighs and reaches to take his hand. And he puts it there.
"Hey, Dale."
Dale: I need a lift home. Robert leans back and leans in for a kiss, then sits up on the curb and holds him. Robert slowly leans in again. They kiss for a bit until Robert's arms are around Dale's neck. He kisses back and hugs them both tight. After a while he pulls out his cellphone and dials. "Hey, Dale!" "Hi."

Οὖτις, Thursday, 30 May 2019 22:34 (four years ago) link

Confirmed members of So Solid Crew

Lisa Maffia
Romeo
Carl Morgan
MC Harvey
G-Man
Kaish
Oxide & Neutrino
DJ Swiss
Megaman
Asher D
A.M. SNiPER

Nick Siegel
Ozone
Jack Sleeves
Waffle
Doomin
Sonic the Hedgehog (Original)
Trevor Sama (Older Version)
Henderson Sabin (Old Version)
Kirby (Older Version)
T-Man
Roland
Captain America (Classic)
Wiccan
Nero (Original)
Crow (Original)
Gigi (Old Version)
Sonic Rbot (Original)
Wario
Cinderella (Classic)
Martha (Old Version)
Puppet Show (Old Version)
Mario
Mr. Mime
Shane Ripp
Pumpkin (Original)
Gigi & Luigi
Pikmin
Super Mario Bros. 3
Jigglypuff (Original)
Hornet
Jigglypuff (Young Version)
Bowser Jr.
Captain Falcon
Captain Falcon (Original)

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 30 May 2019 22:34 (four years ago) link

[Sonny opens a package to find two fish wrapped in Luca's bulletproof vest.]
Santino "Sonny" Corleone: What the hell is this?
Salvatore Tessio: It's a Sicilian message. It means,
"Hello, brother-in-law." They think it's from the Mafia. [He opens a can, reading Italian. As the man reads it, Tommy jumps from his crouch and throws the can at the other man and shoves him to the ground.] And this, the most magnificent thing on the plane, is a Pabst Blue Ribbon beer. [He throws open a can that is also full of gunpowder.] And this? There's nothing on the plane. So, this? What are your other beers?
Marcelo: Pabst Blue Ribbon...
Tommy: Ah.
Marcelo: Pabst Blue Ribbon.
Tommy: Pabst Blue Ribbon. [The two men look at each other.]
Sergeant O'Brian: The thing is, I'm a guy for booze. But let's talk about guns.
Marcelo: You're an ass.
Tommy: Well...
Marcelo: Don't get me wrong, you're a nice guy, I can't blame you...
Marcelo: What do you mean

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 30 May 2019 22:36 (four years ago) link

Brennan: This house is a fucking prison!
Dale: On Planet Bullshit!
Brennan: In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dick!
What are you gonna do, throw me back in a cage?
Dale: You wanna be the one to break my body?
Brennan: What? You wanna be the one to kill me?
Dale: What? You want to be the one to get out of me with you?
Brennan: Why?
Dale: I'll get it with a nice long bath.
Brennan: I don't like that idea!
Dale: I won't even try.
Brennan: You're never gonna let me in the cell.
Dale: I wouldn't want you getting yourself in any other way.
Brennan: But you're gonna get a little bit of a taste, won't you?
Dale: What do I say?
Brennan: I don't know! All I know is that you're one damned man.
Dale: You wanna stay in prison?
Brennan: Fine. I do what I damn well please.
Dale: You do what you damn well please?
Brennan: This is the only time I'll ever do that for myself.

Οὖτις, Thursday, 30 May 2019 22:37 (four years ago) link

[Sonny opens a package to find two fish wrapped in Luca's bulletproof vest.]
Santino "Sonny" Corleone: What the hell is this?
Salvatore Tessio: It's a Sicilian message. It means
he sent back my daughter. Now it's his turn to pick on his kid sister and make her fight off some big bros.
Kurt Russell: I knew we were gonna be able to outsmart that kid.
The Joker: What, that you love me more than your daughter's life?
Kurt Russell: Well, she gets to live!
Reed Richards, Doctor: You're gonna need more than a pair of pants to keep them warm, pal.
Reed Richards : There's gotta be a way to melt 'em, buddy.
Ziggy Gumbel: It may be cold on this side of Manhattan, but they know exactly how to cook 'em up.
Cory Michael Smith, The Joker : I would've wanted a more... I would've ...
Reed Richards , Doctor: And a better one.
The Suicide Squad : There are too many of them, and they're... too much fun to go around on.
Bart Simpson: I just want to eat dinner.
The Joker : My mom wants me in line for her favorite buffet restaurant and

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 30 May 2019 22:39 (four years ago) link

BLAKE: Put that coffee down! Coffee's for closers only. You think I'm fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. I'm here from downtown. I'm here from Mitch and Murray. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Your name's Levene?

LEVENE: Yeah.

BLAKE: You call yourself a salesman, you son of a bitch? If that wasn't enough, here comes somebody who won't shut up about how bad the job you're doing, about how this place sucks. Now listen up, man. If you're willing to sell me my dignity...I like you in a heartbeat.

CAMERON: And I'm not kidding. I like you just the same.

LEVENE: Look at these numbers? How about the fact that your city's unemployment is up 20 percent and you're the reason unemployment's up?

CAMERON: You know what it's about?

LEVENE: It's about the things we don't have. I mean, that's my main point. I'm not talking about that job, man. I'm talking about the shit that people are not getting from you.

(The audience reacts excitedly to that line.)

CAMERON: Whoa.

omar little, Thursday, 30 May 2019 22:42 (four years ago) link

Vader: If only you knew the power of the dark side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.
Luke: He told me enough. He told me you killed him.
Vader: No, I am your father.
Your father's father, Vader, Darth Caius.

Luke: But your father was a Rebel sympathizer. He fought against you. Vader, you betrayed him. You killed one of his closest people, your father.

Vader: Luke, you are going to know the power of good and evil in this galaxy if you fight me.

Luke: But I won't fight you if it means I'll never help you. I won't even join you, if your father was right all this time.

Vader: I heard his voice. The one who made Obi-Wan believe he is worth more than everything else.

Luke: Darth Vader, I am Darth Vader.
Vader: Come, Luke. I won't beat you.
[The room explodes, Vader is shot through the chest, but stands, and gets back up.]

Luke: Who you think you are, my brother?

[Darth Vader is lying on the ground with his back against the wall]

Vader: I didn't think anyone would fight against my might, even if you were Darth Vader of the First

Got your butt drank (Neanderthal), Thursday, 30 May 2019 22:49 (four years ago) link

SAMWELL: And your father your real father was Rhaegar Targaryen. You've never been a bastard. You're Aegon Targaryen, true heir to the Iron Throne. I'm sorry, I know it's a lot to take in.

JON SNOW: My father was the most honorable man I ever met. You're saying he lied to me all my life.

SAMWELL: No. He was lying to save his life! He did everything he could and did everything he wanted to do... but somehow it led to his death.

JON SNOW: The truth is even he didn't know.

SAMWELL: He didn’t? That's incredible...

JON SNOW: A man of his stature can't have been lying to anyone ever. What could it have been?

SAMWELL: All I know is I loved him dearly, which led me into a deep love affair with one of the most powerful people you know. I became obsessed with that man. It was an obsession that grew into a love affair - an obsession that culminated in our marriage. She was a part of it all. There can be no doubt about that. My brother didn't want the death of his beloved bride, though. He wanted to see her again...

JON SNOW: But

omar little, Thursday, 30 May 2019 22:52 (four years ago) link

Haha

Got your butt drank (Neanderthal), Thursday, 30 May 2019 22:54 (four years ago) link

Sarah: Keep it under 65. We don't wanna get pulled over.

Terminator: Affirmative.

John: No, no, no, no. You don't say "Affirmative" or some shit like that. You say "No problemo." And if someone comes on to you with an attitude, you say "Eat me". And if you want to shine them on, it's "Hasta la vista, baby".

Terminator: Affirmative.

John: So, if they come up, you say "Hasta la vista". They know what we say, and they know where we are coming from. "Affirmative" means "I'm gonna leave it that way", you know?

Terminator: Affirmative.

John: And if they come up and they go, "Yeah, that's cool, I'm gonna go talk to some one" you say "Ha! Ha. Ha". That's something we do in this place, so we don't need people talking to each other like that. We have people talking to us like this.

Terminator: Affirmative.

John: We have some of the best people to be out here. But that doesn't mean they shouldn't respect our people. You know?

Terminator:

Got your butt drank (Neanderthal), Thursday, 30 May 2019 23:00 (four years ago) link

Nice Guy Eddie: C'mon, throw in a buck!
Mr. Pink: Uh-uh, I don't tip.
Nice Guy Eddie: You don't tip?
Mr. Pink: I don't believe in it.
Nice Guy Eddie: You don't believe in tipping?
Mr. Blue: You know what these chicks make? They make shit.
Mr. Pink: Don't give me that. She don't make enough money, she can quit.
Nice Guy Eddie: I don't even know a fucking Jew who'd have the balls to say that. Let me get this straight: you don't ever tip, huh?

Mr. Pink: I tip, but you know what I'm like? You know what I do to my mother and to my mom's family, I call it, 'The Black Box' where I'm really good so you don't ever call me names.
Nice Guy Eddie: Well what would you have me guess I'm in a relationship with?
Mr. Pink: A black dick.
Nice Guy Eddie: A fucking fucker's ass, dude! I wouldn't dare call me a 'fuck' again, no offense. It's not right. I would fucking shoot the guy right now just because!
Mr. Pink: Well I could see if I needed it to, if somebody was

Got your butt drank (Neanderthal), Thursday, 30 May 2019 23:06 (four years ago) link

JON SNOW: What about everyone else? All the other people who think they know what's good.

DAENERYS: They don't get to choose. Be with me. Build the new world with me. This is our reason. It has been from the beginning, since you were a little boy with a bastard's name and I was a little girl who couldn't count to 20. We do it together. We break the wheel together.

JON SNOW: You are my queen. Now, and always.

DAENERYS: Now go. You're my king, Jon Snow, to everyone who comes after you.

KHAROL: Yes.

CATHERINE: I'm on the phone now.

CIRIS: We'll meet up soon.

JON SNOW: The only thing you say to my parents, my brothers and sisters will always be my parents to me, as much as you need anything you've ever done. And I do need anything you ever need.

CATHERINE I can't go anymore. Jon Snow has changed!

(Karen's and Jon's parents walk out of the room.)

JON SNOW: I'm just glad you're okay. I think I just got kicked outta the castle for being drunk again,

omar little, Thursday, 30 May 2019 23:08 (four years ago) link

I'm gonna take my horse
to the Old Town Road
I'm gonna ride
Till
I reach
The New Town Road
And go home I think

mick signals, Thursday, 30 May 2019 23:20 (four years ago) link

lmao

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 30 May 2019 23:34 (four years ago) link

Mr. Pink: I tip, but you know what I'm like? You know what I do to my mother and to my mom's family, I call it, 'The Black Box' where I'm really good so you don't ever call me names.
Nice Guy Eddie: Well what would you have me guess I'm in a relationship with?
Mr. Pink: A black dick.

AI has Tarantino's number.

Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Thursday, 30 May 2019 23:44 (four years ago) link

Dying at the idea of one of So Solid Crew being called 'Puppet Show'. That's just brilliant

frame casual (dog latin), Thursday, 30 May 2019 23:55 (four years ago) link

or Jack Sleeves!

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Friday, 31 May 2019 00:02 (four years ago) link

These combinations are hilarious:

The Electric Prunes: "I Had Too Much to Dream (Last Night)" (Annette Tucker, Nancie Mantz) – 3:02 (#11)
The Standells: "Dirty Water" (Ed Cobb) – 2:50 (#11)
The Strangeloves: "Night Time" (Bob Feldman, Jerry Goldstein, Richard Gottehrer)– 2:35 (#30)
The Knickerbockers: "Lies" (Beau Charles, Buddy Randell) – 2:46 (#20)
The Vagrants: "Respect" (Otis Redding) – 2:17
Mouse: "A Public Execution" (Knox Henderson, Ronnie Weiss) – 3:02
The Blues Project: "No Time Like the Right Time" (Al Kooper) – 2:49 (#96)

The B-52's: "The Night Before" (Cindy Holland) – 1:34 (#30)
The Who: "The Star Song" (Billy Preston, George Harrison) – 2:43 (#60)
The Yardbirds: "Sweet Lady Belushi" (Toots Williams) – 2:13 (#52)
Earl Sweatshirt: "No Sleep at All" (Bette Midler) – 2:42 (#53)
The Beach Boys: "Hey Jude"

Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Friday, 31 May 2019 01:26 (four years ago) link

This is my new laughter medicine:

The Electric Prunes: "I Had Too Much to Dream (Last Night)" (Annette Tucker, Nancie Mantz) – 3:02 (#11)
The Standells: "Dirty Water" (Ed Cobb) – 2:50 (#11)
The Strangeloves: "Night Time" (Bob Feldman, Jerry Goldstein, Richard Gottehrer)– 2:35 (#30)
The Knickerbockers: "Lies" (Beau Charles, Buddy Randell) – 2:46 (#20)
The Vagrants: "Respect" (Otis Redding) – 2:17
Mouse: "A Public Execution" (Knox Henderson, Ronnie Weiss) – 3:02
The Blues Project: "No Time Like the Right Time" (Al Kooper) – 2:49 (#96)

Bob Dylan: "Blue Sunday" (Charlie Parker) – 5:42 (#36)
The Strokes: "We Must Talk About Kevin" (James Brown) – 6:18 (#45)
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis: "Lovecraft, Inc." (Owen G)|7:03 (#35)
Mumford & Sons: "Tangled Up In Blue" (Steve Vai) – 2:37 (#12)
Paul Simon & Co.: "Don't Kill My Vibe

Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Friday, 31 May 2019 01:33 (four years ago) link

1: Peggy Gou – “It Makes You Forget (Itgehane)”
2: The 1975 – “Love It If We Made It”
3: Ella Mai – “Boo’d Up”
4: Lana Del Rey – “Venice Bitch”
5: Ariana Grande – “No Tears Left to Cry”
6: Ariana Grande – “thank u, next
7: Jessie Ware – “Overtime
8: Janelle Monáe – “Make Me Feel”
9: Mitski – “Nobody”
10: Kero Kero Bonito – “”Only Acting”

11: Ariana Grande – “Love At First Hit** ‏ ‏
12: Justin Bieber – “All Too Well ‏
‏ ____________________
13: Katy Perry – **Love Yourself‡ ‏ ‏
14: Ariana Grande – “I Would Die 4 U‏ __________________
15: Katy Perry – “Let It Go‡ ‏ ‏
16: Lil Jon – “You're Sexy Like Me‡ ‏ ‏
17: Ariana Grande – “Till We Meet Again

Arugula Raccoon (DJP), Friday, 31 May 2019 02:06 (four years ago) link

A few alternate P-Funk discographies:

Free Your Mind... and Your Ass Will Follow (1970)
Maggot Brain (1971)
America Eats Its Young (1972)
Cosmic Slop (1973)
Standing on the Verge of Getting it On (1974)
Up for the Down Stroke (1974)
Chocolate City (1975)
Mothership Connection (1976)
The Clones of Dr. Funkenstein (1976)
Harcore Jollies (1976)
Tales of Kidd Funkadelic (1976)
Funkentelechy Vs. the Placebo Syndrome (1977)

You Can Move (1977)
This Old Boomer is a Lovable Jackass (1977)
In My Feelin' Head (1978)
The New Age of Sucker Punch (1978)
I'm Here to Win (1979)
Get Your Own Damn Car (1979)

Cockroaches in Paradise (1977)
Strawberry Bags in the Moon (1978)
My Love Will Only Grow (1978)
The Big Bang Boy (1979)
The Hombres (1979)
In the End, Everything's Felt (1979)
Cherry Bomb in Heaven (1980)
It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World (1982)
Couples (1978)
Bathroom Blues (1999)
The Big Bang Boys: Love Shack (2001)

Losea's Brain (1977)
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (1977)
Chewy Gimmick (1978)
I Get On Like a Girl (1978)
Stonewall (1979)
Dr. Tachyon (1979)
The Holographic Woman (1979)
What's a Guy to do? (1979)
What's It Like to Be a Woman (1979)
Sex. Rock music. All day. This Man (1980)
Songs for a Fetus (1980)
The Sex Pistols: Rock 'n' Roll is for Fucks (1981)

The Piss-Plagued Child (1977)
The Rock-Up (1977)
I Don't Want a Friend-in-Law (1978)
Crocodile Boy (1978)
The Naked Highway (1979)
Nurse on My Back (1982)

Pony Canyon (1978)
The Power of Music (1980)
Funkfest 2000 (1981)
Dixie Melody (1982)
The End of the Summer (1984)
Somewhere Over the Rainbow (1985)
It's a Shame About You (1988)
Troubled Child (1989)
A Little About That Beat (1990)
It's All Right Now... Let It Go (1991)
Loverboys (1991)
It's an American Movie Day (1992)
We Built This City (1993)
Candyman: The Artifacts of Rock'n'Roll Destruction (1994)
I'll Be There (1995)
The Miserable Life of Oscar Hammerstein II (1996)
Let Me Out (1997)

John Denver – Led Zeppelin IV (Part II) (Old Lunch), Friday, 31 May 2019 02:17 (four years ago) link

Bastille's Christmas (1977)
The Secret of the Golden Egg (1977)
A.P.C.O.T. (1977)
Eddie Got Your Back (1978)
My Best Friend's Daughter (1980)
No One Gets Away (1980)
The Big Bopper (1981)
Sick, Sick, Sicker (1981)
Sweet & Dirty: The Revenge of The Stooge (1982)
Nelly Furtado: The Life of the Artistic Bastard (1984)
One Hundred Years of Hoes and Hoes (1984)
I Have No Idea What You're Playing at (1984)

John Denver – Led Zeppelin IV (Part II) (Old Lunch), Friday, 31 May 2019 02:19 (four years ago) link

Disco Fucking (1977)
Punch a Kid (1977)
Reverie (1978)
The Boredom Blues (1979)
The Blue Pill (1979)
The Miserable Life of Walter "Fat Bastard" Whitehead (1980)
Sleek Diner (1982)
Voodoo (1987)
It Was a Great Day by the Beach (1981)
Belly Flops (1982)

John Denver – Led Zeppelin IV (Part II) (Old Lunch), Friday, 31 May 2019 02:21 (four years ago) link

Shy Houdini (1978)
The New Age of Stupid (1979)
Anatomy of a Fucking Machine (1978)
Lucky Old Fool (1979)
The Black Cowl of Doom (1979)
The End of Jazz (1979)
The Great Depression Is Happening (1980)

(This is clearly just an endless well.)

John Denver – Led Zeppelin IV (Part II) (Old Lunch), Friday, 31 May 2019 02:23 (four years ago) link

Once there was this kid who
Got into an accident and couldn't come to school
But when he finally came back
His hair had turned from black into bright white
He said that it was from when
The cars had smashed him so hard

Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm

Once there was this kid who got so into his game

That it was time for him to change

When he put the ball in his mouth, the ball just dropped right in front of him

And instead of hitting it into the left field corner

The ball hit it in the opposite way

And instead of landing right in the middle of the left field corner, it hit off all of his clothes at once

And instead of hitting him right in the middle of the right field corner, it bounced off the back wall

That ball went right up and through this child's face

This kid went right up and through their neck.

This kid went right up and through this kid's chest.

This kid went right up and through the boy's chest.

But all that came out with no sound was this kid's soul flying through the air

This song was called "It Came Down To Me" by The Who.

One of the lyrics reads:

MarkoP, Friday, 31 May 2019 02:44 (four years ago) link

Inspired by the So Solid Crew list up threead:

Members of the Wu Tang Clan include:
RZA
GZA
Method Man
Raekwon
Ghostface Killah
Inspectah Deck
U-God
Masta Killa
Cappadonna

Nas
R. Kelly
De La Soul
Lil M.A.F.C. (feat. Kanye West)
Suga Loosa
Kris Williams
Pee Wee Herman
Jermaine Dupri
ScHoolboy Q
Eminem
Jeezy
Ferg
F. Scott Fitzgerald
GZA (feat. Eazy-E)
Skrillex
Big Sean
Daft Punk
The Wu Tang Clan is the first rap group not affiliated with any other artists. If you ask someone on the street what the group is, they'll probably say it's the coolest thing ever.
You can join the Wu Tang Clan right now at mtvu.com.

MarkoP, Friday, 31 May 2019 02:55 (four years ago) link

They rejected my application :(

Got your butt drank (Neanderthal), Friday, 31 May 2019 04:05 (four years ago) link

Yes, dialogue is fertile ground.


Harry: Would you like to have dinner?... Just friends.
Sally: I thought you didn't believe men and women could be friends.
Harry: When did I say that?
Sally: On the ride to New York.

Harry: You can't tell me!
Sally: Well, I could.
Harry: Don't you see? You like me?
Sally: (gets up) You want to get in my pants? Why wouldn't you?
Harry: But who do you want in my pants?
Sally: (shakes her head) You see, I've been telling you this day and day.
Harry: Oh God, you're talking like some kind of monster.
Sally: What you think you're talking about... is actually just the truth... it's been in my back pocket all my life, not you.
Harry: And I don't want it in your back pocket unless you give it to me first.
Sally: (looks in his eyes) Oh, well, I guess we might be both wrong here...
Sally: What do we have here?
Harry: I've got this!
Sally: Oh my God!
Harry: It's a little pink and pink.

Alba, Friday, 31 May 2019 05:28 (four years ago) link

LISA: Wendy?
WENDY: Yes Lisa.
LISA: Is the water warm enough?
WENDY: Yes Lisa.
LISA: Shall we begin?
WENDY: Yes Lisa.

LISA: Oh, wow, you're really cold, are you?
WENDY: What!?
LISA: There's nothing, Lisa. I told you last night I was coming home for my birthday tomorrow.
WENDY: Really? And now I'm going back home and getting a big surprise just for Christmas?! That's crazy. I just...I think I'm actually going to get that cake, and there's just no way I can put it away all night so you don't have to eat it, you know?
LISA: Really? You have no idea?
WENDY: Maybe someday someday, okay I'll make up your mind, it's a big surprise, but right now is really...it's kind of my birthday, right?
LISA: Wow, so when you get home your birthday cake?
WENDY: Yeah yes I know.
LISA: I don't care if your birthday comes early or not. Why don't you just make dinner for the family, and I'll bring you home to eat it.
WENDY: Okay, I can't

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Friday, 31 May 2019 07:05 (four years ago) link

Costello: Well then who's on first?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: I mean the fellow's name.
Abbott: Who.

Costello: The name of the person who called me yesterday.
Abbott: Who?
Costello: The caller and you.
Abbott: And you are calling me first.
Costello: Yes sir. Thank you.
Abbott: And now I want you to respond.
Costello: Yes sir.
Abbott: I'm going to read you his response because this is what he said he is feeling personally.
Costello: In the last week or so my emotions have gone out the window for him. I'm almost afraid to feel anything for him. I know you're listening. I know you're saying the right thing. My heart is in the wrong place. You and your party are not helping me. I'm not going to vote this country into a second term.
Abbott: Who said anything about him being elected?
Costello: Mr. Abbott, that's what a party should not say. I would never even consider, not to mention a Republican, would do what you're doing. I'm not sure what the next thing is.
Abbott: Who said anything?

big gym sw0les (crüt), Friday, 31 May 2019 07:18 (four years ago) link

no, who's on first

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Friday, 31 May 2019 07:48 (four years ago) link

Vladimir: What do we do now?
Estragon: Wait.
Vladimir: Yes, but while waiting.
Estragon: What about hanging ourselves?
Vladimir: Hmm. It'd give us an erection.
Estragon: (highly excited). An erection!
Vladimir: With all that follows.
Where it falls mandrakes grow.
That's why they shriek when you pull them up.
Did you not know that?
Estragon: Let's hang ourselves immediately!

Estragon: (firmly in his grip on Vladimir). Yes. Yes.
(Gravity pulls him back as well as Vladimir. He's very uncomfortable on his stomach. He's not happy. Vladimir groans heavily.)
What are your feelings? How do you feel?
Vladimir: I don't know. I'm not feeling that...
(The sound of an alarm. Then an explosion in Vladimir's chest.)
Estragon: Let's finish.
Estragon: It'll take a while. Just wait.
Vladimir: Wait.
Vladimir: Oh my God.
Estragon: The sound. The explosion.
Vladimir, who is not in the room, hears it too. His eyes light up just when

The Pingularity (ledge), Friday, 31 May 2019 08:23 (four years ago) link

i thought the jokes were next level:

Talk to Transformer

Talk to Transformer (no-www)

koogs, Friday, 31 May 2019 08:25 (four years ago) link

Customer: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

C: 'Ello, Miss?

Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

C: (pause) I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to register a complaint!

O: We're closin' for lunch.

C: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Owner: Well, we're sorry to hear that, I understand you've been looking for the Parrot Master.

C: What is your name?

O: Miss? Well, there it is, if you won't tell us a name then I shall be so sorry. I've never even heard of your company. This Parrot Master, he's just too much for his first parrot, he's too big and we can't carry him, he's too big, he's too big, too big, too big.

C: And he's so tall too. The best part, the most wonderful part, the most delightful part to watch this Parrot? His ears, he's so long and sharp and beautiful, his ears are as big as a bushy apple, the feathers are so long too,

frame casual (dog latin), Friday, 31 May 2019 11:55 (four years ago) link

JERRY: And I have a terrible past. For three years now, I've been living with a saxophone player.

OSGOOD: I forgive you.

JERRY: And I can never have children.

OSGOOD: We'll adopt some.

JERRY: But you don't understand! I'm a MAN!

OSGOOD: Well – nobody's perfect.

JERRY: I can't believe my life will ever be perfect until I get pregnant with you! I have to have the baby you want NOW!

OSGOOD: Then you'll be sure to change!

JERRY: I just will! You're perfect for me! You'll never be wrong!

OSGOOD: Don't talk like that! If that has anything to do with you and your past life, I'm sure you will learn.

JERRY: I know!

[They sit and wait.]

JAKE: I love you!

[At the bus stop, Jeez.]

[The scene cuts to a motel room.]

JAKE: I love you!

[She kisses his forehead].

Alba, Friday, 31 May 2019 11:59 (four years ago) link

Self-Inflicted Aerial Nostalgia (1989)
Same Place the Fly Got Smashed (1990)
Propeller (1992)
Vampire on Titus (1993)
Bee Thousand (1994)
Alien Lanes (1995)
Under the Bushes Under the Stars (1996)
Tonics & Twisted Chasers (1996)
Mag Earwhig! (1997)

I Can't Live with My Baby! (1998)
Tower of Ponds (1998)
Duke of Caine (1999)
The New Face of the West (1999)
Warm Belly Bitch (2000)
The Final Stand (2000)
Jazz in France (2001)
Dirty Rotten (2001)
Catchin' Cans, Baby, Catchin' Cans (2002)
The Last of the Wild Boar (2003)
The Big Book of Bad Words (2003)
Loser (2003)
The Old Man and the Gun (2003)
A Time to Shine (2003)
The Man Who Could See (2003)
Beware the Evil One (2003)
Fatal Attraction (2004)
The Long Summer (2004)
This is What You Get for a New Year (2004)
Dangerous Minds (2004)
The Good Soldier (2005)

John Denver – Led Zeppelin IV (Part II) (Old Lunch), Friday, 31 May 2019 12:31 (four years ago) link

RICK: My letter of transit? I could use a trip. But it doesn't make any difference about our bet. You still owe me ten thousand francs.

RENAULT: And that ten thousand francs should pay our expenses.

RICK:Our expenses?

RENAULT: Uh huh.

RICK: Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

RENAULT: Of course.

RICK: But don't forget about all of us.

RENAULT: Yes. He's the best man I've ever had. It's all worth it. That's how I roll.

(RICK takes off his sunglasses and gives a dirty grin to the others.)

RICK: We'll come back again in five minutes.

[Transporter's office]

TALENT 1: (over speaker) We have a problem, Doctor. Something's terribly wrong. Something's terribly wrong at the bridge. They're having a problem. I'd like to offer you some assistance.

(HAL is in the background making phone calls. He tries to talk to them.)

HAL: Mister, please contact us by any of these four lines: [on speaker, using a headset] Starla, Starla? Uh huh, I have to go.

Alba, Friday, 31 May 2019 12:36 (four years ago) link

xp Pollard *copies list, gets to work*

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Friday, 31 May 2019 13:04 (four years ago) link

This one scared me a little:

1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

3 And God said,

4 "Let there be light," and there was light.

5 And God saw that it was good.

6 And God divided the light from the darkness; and it was also good.

7 And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night.

8 Now the evening and the morning were the first day.

9 And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.

10 And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament.

11 And God called the firmament Heaven.

12 And God blessed the firmament, and God sanctified it. Then God rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had made. And the evening and the morning were the second day.

Gen 1:31:1-36 New Testament Apocrypha

Jude 27:6 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

27:7

Arugula Raccoon (DJP), Friday, 31 May 2019 13:19 (four years ago) link

Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnnie Ray, South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio.

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television, North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe.

Rosenbergs, H-bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom, Brando, "The King and I" and "The Catcher in the Rye".

Eisenhower, vaccine, England's got a new queen, Marciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbye.

Pepsi-Cola, John Lennon, The New World Order (World Government), John McCain, Vietnam and Watergate.

Singer-songwriter Jim Jarmusch, David Bowie, Billy Joel, Robert Palmer – with David Bowie's father Joe working on it.

Alfred Hitchcock, Psycho, Psycho-Pass, "A Few Good Men" and many, many more.

conrad, Friday, 31 May 2019 13:40 (four years ago) link

Agadoo-doo-doo
Push pineapple
Shake a tree
Push corn
This is my most favorite routine. I love the way the sun shines and all the elements in my life flow into one wonderful space. Everything is calm and the air is warm and calm before all the craziness, anxiety and stress are put into perspective.
The first step is to start focusing and not worry about anything other than getting fit. The sun is shining, you have more time in the day, you have all this free time to do all the things that are meant to be spent. Don't worry if you need to take breaks from the rest of the world. Get in shape and do some exercises. I love doing cardio because the muscles in your thighs and calves are naturally working and the stretch reflex is activated and you feel incredibly tight in those muscles.
On the other end, when you are working out, I usually do a lot of sitting and standing up. It has a calming, peaceful feeling to it, and there is the same feeling of being surrounded by things. You feel lighter in your bones and you feel great physically, but mentally you are a mess. You cannot control what happens at work around you. You are so busy trying to accomplish a result that you lose focus, and a lot of the good stuff goes right through the glass of your head

frame casual (dog latin), Friday, 31 May 2019 13:46 (four years ago) link

from a list of words added to the dictionary in 2018:

1. BOUGIE (ADJ.)
Short for bourgeois, this term means "Marked by a concern for wealth, possessions, and respectability."

2. TL;DR (ABBREV.)
"Too long; didn't read—used to say that something would require too much time to read."

3. BINGEABLE (ADJ.)
"Having multiple episodes or parts that can be watched in rapid succession."

4. PREDICTIVE (ADJ.)
As in predictive text: "Of, relating to, or usable or valuable for prediction."

5. RATING (ABBREV.)

A rating scale used for determining ratings on a variety of subjects including: movies, television shows, music, sports, and even food, drink, and romance.

6. SINN (ADJ.)

"A lie—the truth."

7. NERD (ABBREV. NERVOUS)

A person who is in need of therapy. They may be in pain, angry, depressed, or anything else negative. "Sensing something that should be in the realm of rational thought but really isn't."

8. WITCHED (ABBREV. WITCHED)

Someone who is under severe medical threat. "Some people are actually afraid

The Pingularity (ledge), Friday, 31 May 2019 13:50 (four years ago) link

some more from some other attempts:

6. CLARIFYING (SEMI.)
"I'm afraid I've got to. I just can't keep looking away. Is somebody on their phone in the room behind me?"

7. LOVEMINDED MAN (J. P. RUBIN)

One of those characters from The Simpsons who appears to be entirely dead in the episode where he gets a letter from his daughter

10. PLEASURE (ADJ.)

Pleasure. Often associated with an unpleasant emotion such as pleasure.

5. BOWLING (MAD, ADJ.)

A name for a young person who will be late for a school performance or a party. (You will probably be late for the big party and miss the big dance or both.)

6. HOGWARTS (AG)

The most popular group on college campuses these days, with a huge audience. They usually have tattoos and make weird music with the lyrics written by rappers at various points on the album.

7. JUMPER (MAD, ADJ.)

The name given to all the people in your life who are just too lazy to get to the bottom of a problem they're about to encounter. The person in your life

The Pingularity (ledge), Friday, 31 May 2019 13:50 (four years ago) link

I have to stop. I just lost it at this:

6. SCRIPTS (CURSORS, NUTS, PARTS, NICE (NUT), TEMPLES, ORCHESTRATIONS, NOUISQUE, WOODWORKS) (CURSORS (CURSOR), TEMPLES (TEMPLES), AND NICE (NOUISQUE)(CURSORS))

The Pingularity (ledge), Friday, 31 May 2019 14:01 (four years ago) link

In the not too distant future
Next Sunday, A.D.
There was a guy named Joel
Not too different from you and me
He
told me that that was my destiny (I'd have to kill him to get out of it)
I don't know why he did that, but maybe it was the same reason in his mind?
He was my brother... And then I ended up having an encounter with him
I've gotten so frustrated lately... Just a few minutes a day like this
Well, when I finally did it was a lot less... I didn't think I could do it as strong as a ninja
And it was actually kinda fun to make some of those things like that
I think this is probably where we meet... And I know it might sound weird, but the reason why
This is probably why it's not so interesting to me at all.
A lot of times people don't have anything to live for
And that's where the fun begins
If I was here at this place on an island
... I'd probably feel the same way... I probably wouldn't be around right now
So, I'm always thinking of new ways to take on things
And that's why I'm probably the only one that I've seen die (it's not like I had really anything)

1. "t1a1"
2. "bqbqbq"
3. "debris_funk"
4. "l3 ctrl"
5. "carefree counter dronal"
6. "north spiral"
7. "gonk steady one"
8. "four of seven"
9. "32a_reflected"

10.icter"finally a good turn"
11.icter"gene_jr is going to be a lisp"
12.icter"goals-eek!"
13.icter"jeffs jr's santa hat"
14.icter"lol. jr. is a santa hat"
15.icter"lol. a santa hat"
16.icter"pizza night is about to be made"
17.icter"santa hat"
18.icter"santa hat"
19.icter"santa hat"
20.icter"santa hat"
21.icter"santa hat"
22.icter"santa hat"
23.icter"santa hat"
24.icter"santa hat"
25.icter"santa hat"
26.icter"santa hat"

silverfish, Friday, 31 May 2019 14:27 (four years ago) link

1. "elyc9 7hres"
2. "six of eight (midst)"
3. "xflood"
4. "gonk tuf hi"
5. "dummy casual pt2"
6. "violvoic"
7. "sinistrailAB air"
8. "wetgelis casual interval"
9. "e0"
10. "peal MA"
11. "9 chr0"
12. "turbile epic casual, stpl idle"

13.ÅÅ"
14.ÅÅÅ"
15.ÅÅÅ"
16.ÙÅÅÅ"
17.ÅÅÅ"
18.ÚÅÅÅ"
19.úÅÅÅ"
20.ÅÅÅÅ"
21.ÿÅÅ"
22.ÿÅÅÅ"
23.ÙÅÅ

silverfish, Friday, 31 May 2019 14:29 (four years ago) link

1. "clustro casual"
2. "splesh"
3. "tt1pd"
4. "acid mwan idle"
5. "fLh"
6. "glos ceramic"
7. "g 1 e 1"
8. "nineFly"
9. "shimripl air"
10. "icari"

11. ਕੰੀਰਿ ੰੋ ਏਐ ੧੉ ਫ਼, ਨਾਕ ੩ ੪ ੯ਇ ੨ਾਲ ॥ੁਵ ੰ
॥ ੰਮੇ-1,ੰੜੰ੨ਿ ਕ੃ਠਗਹੀਆ ਚੰਧਾਮਨ ਵਰਲ੩ਾਮੰੰ ॥ ੰਮੇ-2,ੰ੨ੰਟਿ ਕ੃ੰਤੋ ਨਾਲ ॥ (I)ਹੋੋ"ਪ

silverfish, Friday, 31 May 2019 14:33 (four years ago) link

beaten by autechre's own title generating ai

The Pingularity (ledge), Friday, 31 May 2019 14:35 (four years ago) link

1. "frane casual"
2. "mirrage"
3. "column thirteen"
4. "shimripl casual"
5. "all end"

6. mosques "a thousand" ,"a hundred seven" ,"a ninety three" ,"a three thirty one "
7. mosques "three eight four six"
8. mosques "three nine nine seven"
9. mosques "fourteen eight seventeen "
10. mosques "five thirteen ten six"
11. mosques "fourteenth and two ten three"
12. mosques "two twenty eight eight nine"
13. mosques "fourteen and a hundred seven"
14. mosques "nine seventy seven nine a five"
15. mosques "eight forty thirteen and sixty"
16. mosques "eight forty fifteen seven fifteen"
17. mosques "seven twenty five ninety ten"
18. mosques "seven nineteen twenty seven eight five"
19. mosques "eight thirty seven fifteen six"
20. mosques "nine twenty five eight four nine"

If we use the above code then if we create a text file named "c:\magnetec\migrates.txt" and save it as "C:\magnet

silverfish, Friday, 31 May 2019 14:37 (four years ago) link


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