US Politics May 2019: " If I was burned at the stake, I would ask for a mirror"

i have little doubt this won't be totally infuriating

https://media.wnyc.org/i/800/0/c/85/1/its-the-great-pumpkin-charlie-brown-footbal-gag.png

for forty days and forty nights, we have waited for mueller to speak

we have eaten normally during this time

it'd be neat if he coolly took to the stage and delivered an unbroken fifteen-minute series of howls, shrieks and dolphin noises into the mic before adjusting his tie, stepping down from the lectern, walking through the main doors of the department of justice building and disappearing in a dazzling blast of hot pink light, never to be seen again

mueller: LIVE!

"It's worse than you think!" Claws out eyes.

one minute later, on the internet: "...whoa man...live spelled backward is evil...let's follow the money"

it'd be neat if he coolly took to the stage and delivered an unbroken fifteen-minute series of howls, shrieks and dolphin noises into the mic before adjusting his tie, stepping down from the lectern, walking through the main doors of the department of justice building and disappearing in a dazzling blast of hot pink light, never to be seen again

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/snl/images/7/74/Odonoghue.png/revision/latest?cb=20131220094933

can't believe they're finally gonna lock her up

We begin bombing Russia in five minutes.

Word is going out from within DOJ that Robert Mueller’s statement will be “substantial” and the NYT adds that it will be “lengthy.”

i am ready to receive the knowledge now

The fact that this is a statement on behalf of DOJ gives me a very bad feeling about it.

mmm daddy mueller gimme that lengthy, substantial statement pls

Barr approved it, so...

he's basically just saying what the report already said

big surprise

TOTAL EXONERATION

so the President of the United States is allowed to commit unlimited crimes, cool

what a pile of shit

jfc

That was basically "Listen, you stupid fucks, I wrote the whole fucking thing down for you, I don't know why I have to come out here and tell you the exact same shit again, but here we go."

good morning, ladies and gentlemen. since no one in this country can read, i am here to summarize what was already stated in the first pages of my report

Lol, what a waste. Hopefully Pelosi and friends caught his not too subtle inference that it is up to Congress to carry this forward.

yeah i prefer my 'blast of hot pink light' press conference idea tbh

Why do we have to live in an era when 99% of people with any chutzpah or backbone are also basically demons cast loose from hell to frolic among the doomed mortal populace? Why is that?

nothing but love for his good buddy Barr too, assholes of a feather.

Guys what exactly were you expecting from this presser

Him to deliver a message that differed from his report, so everyone could ask why it wasn't in the report?

i may have missed it, but did he say anything indicating his willingness to testify in front of a committee? it is already ridiculous that his team never interviewed trump as part of his investigation, and it will be just as ridiculous if he never takes any questions from congress on 2 years of work that clearly showed trump covering shit up over and over

he doesn't have anything to say to Congress that's not in the report

so please don't subpoena him

I think there's still value in having him testify in public because he could then spoonfeed his findings on camera, which somehow makes them more "real". But he's obviously not revealing anything new that we don't already know.

I feel like he's probably thinking "I set up a clear case of obstruction for you while being constricted by current DOJ guidelines, ain't my fault if you all bury it"

Him appearing could be helpful if only to throw cold water on GOP Congressmen who try to misappropriate his statements during a hearing or clarify any statements that weren't clear.

But lets face it, when 50 million people read a report that would have ruined anybody else and proclaim EXONERATION, it's a losing battle

Congress would have to subpoena him; otherwise, he made clear he's going fishing for the rest of his days.

Since the report is so dense and detailed, the response from anyone who doesn't want to acknowledge his findings has basically been TLDR, and we have accepted that as a valid position. Putting him on record in front of cameras makes that less tenable.

should have released the report as a tweetstorm

This is more or less what I expected to hear from him today, but Moodles and Neanderthal otm about the infuriating nature of watching this whole thing play out.

I hope they do subpoena him

when 50 million people read a report that would have ruined anybody else and proclaim EXONERATION, it's a losing battle

The number of people who actually read the report is closer to 50 than 5,000,000. The people who proclaim EXONERATION wouldn't read it if you put guns to their heads. Their entire worldview depends on never actually taking in information that might force them to consider that their leader is wrong or bad in any way.

he doesn't have anything to say to Congress that's not in the report

i would like someone to ask him "if DOJ policies didn't prevent the indictment of a sitting president, would you have recommended an obstruction of justice charge?", or something along those lines.

i suppose he would say he wouldn't answer hypotheticals

btw, this DOJ policy on not indicting sitting presidents - was that in place during Nixon?

i think he should have said that he would have prosecuted obstruction were he not bound by DOJ guidelines. this implication stuff--laying out the evidence but saying it's not his role to come to a conclusion if he can't prosecute--just leaves a ton of room for anyone who wants to claim exoneration

It's implied in his statement, though -- unless you want him declaring it forthrightly, which he won't because #GOPpolitician

mr rogers was the last good republican

I assume so KM, as RMN was famously an "unindicted co-conspirator"

i would like someone to ask him "if DOJ policies didn't prevent the indictment of a sitting president, would you have recommended an obstruction of justice charge?", or something along those lines.

i suppose he would say he wouldn't answer hypotheticals

― i will never make a typo ever again (Karl Malone), Wednesday, May 29, 2019 11:37 AM (two minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

exactly.

if he's publishing the report he is already giving the public something that will affect their view of a person he isn't going to charge. he's already in this kind of water--an ordinary prosecutor doesn't publish evidence of a case he won't bring to court. taking that next step just seems like a technicality he made up.

I think in the aftermath of the Starr report they changed the special prosecutor law to make it the special counsel, and that change involve the SCO not being permitted to suggest any charges. I also think this is why Mueller is not explicitly stating THIS IS NOW CONGRESSES RESPONSIBILITY TO IMPEACH RIGHT NOW.

Hopefully Pelosi and friends caught his not too subtle inference that it is up to Congress to carry this forward.

Except the effect will be the opposite. "Look, people, you got the investigation, you got the report, you've had endless additional partisan investigations, you now have Mueller's public statement. No do-overs. Case closed."

If Trump and Barr's DOJ are allowing this, it's intended to be INSTEAD of testifying. Not a prelude to testimony.