Seizing back control: The ILX lol brexit is how we're all gonna die thread.

going by previous statements i wouldn't get too excited...

plinth at downing st to announce that she is calmly not resigning imo

Lonely and wants a chat

important announcement about where bears shit

important news on why Hip Hop sucks in '96

has hot takes on the last episode of Game of Thrones

Jurassic 5 get 1/5 shocker!

she's 100% going to announce the uk government's official position that sea salt and balsamic vinegar kettle chips are the best crisps on the market

Setting up a small Tesco barbecue tray

*sends up a quiet prayer that today will be the day that budddwyer.gif is finally played out on downing street*

She’s such a desperate clown I could see her walk up to the podium, dab, and walk away

Feels she has to make an official statement on Charlie Watts' drumming in the light of persistent , indiscriminate attacks by Turrican.

xxxp she is wrong, as per, because the best crisps on sale are the Co-op salt and vinegar ones that strip the skin off your mouth

she's just calmly not resigning like she always does

no tropical paradise honeymoon complete without putting ilx's snack opinions to rights

Emperor_Leto_May.jpg

“Posh” s&v crisps with cider vinegar or whatever are always a disappointment, gyac otm - just chuck some fucking acetic acid on that shit

Look, i bought these Walkers Max wasabi flavoured crisps the other day and they are right up there

xxxp live reaction from the very large but well behaved seagull who wanted us to feed him
https://i.postimg.cc/y6SjJm36/70623-B8-C-D624-4-D75-A5-D7-4-BC2-A2-D87016.jpg

hi there fella

pret's smoked chipotle crisps actually do a decent job of summoning the spirit if not the full glory of kettle chips salsa and mesquite (rip)

Does the ketchup variant have any currency in this here kingdom?

Lack of food standards in post-no deal Britain will result in the only crisps being marmite-encrusted lumps of acrylamide so it’s academic

I guess that EU election poll of 7% for the Tories must correspond to their internal polling

roasted monkey nuts in their shells are just about sophisticated enough for me.

Last-minute lobbying to get their logo on the voting cards changed to Boris's face.

xp we’ll be looking back at my seagull and wishing the super-aggressive British versions were as easy to catch

"she acted weak when strong, and strong when weak" seems like something spoonfed by 1922 to the beeb, it looks like it's happening.

Change UK spent more than £1,300 on ads saying they wanted to ‘remain in the UK’ https://t.co/HEKRkxa7oi

— Jon Stone (@joncstone) May 22, 2019

OK, because of the time change and the constant onslaught of news both foreign and domestic, tell me if I've got the current craziness correct: May has said she'd be open to a second referendum, but only if ... people first vote for her shitty Brexit plan? Is that right?

No wonder Heidi Allen tries to quit.

BREAKING: @heidiallen75 tells me she offered to quit as @ForChange_Now leader after a row over whether Remainers should back @LibDems outside London/south east. She & colleagues like @sarahwollaston are for it, others like @Anna_Soubry against it. Full interview on @Channel4News

— Cathy Newman (@cathynewman) May 22, 2019

Nigel Farage is stuck on his Brexit bus because people have turned up with milkshakes https://t.co/AmedrduUCx

— Kent Live (@kentlivenews) May 22, 2019

may RIP tonight?

If she can survive the night she is safe for a bit - Purdah tomorrow.

also fuck the sun fuck the sun fuck the sun but this headline makes me glad

Nigel Farage 'trapped on Brexit bus surrounded by people armed with milkshakes' https://t.co/gVHMN0Ddz0 pic.twitter.com/4jlAPCZY6G

— The Sun (@TheSun) May 22, 2019

damn didn't see Mark's tweet, unnecessary Sun link

She is definitely not resigning btw.

she still has six days on the gordonometer

oborne, parris and heseltine all voting LD tomorrow

European Parliament voting intention:

BREX: 27%
LAB: 24%
LDEM: 15%
CON: 13%
GRN: 8%
CHUK: 5%

via @KantarPublic, 14 - 21 May

— Britain Elects (@britainelects) May 22, 2019

Yeah, I think so.

1922 aren't pushing May out - no rule change until after whitsun at the earliest says Brady

(Because that's how Tories talk)

Hot take - this is all bollocks and May will still be there in December. By which point we will still probably be in the EU.

Wait is Whitsun before or after Michaelmas Term I can't remember.

kantar poll implied seats

Implied Seats:

BXP: 24 (+24)
LAB: 20 (=)
LDM: 12 (+11)
CON: 9 (-10)
SNP: 2 (=)
GRN: 2 (-1)
PLC: 1 (=)
UKIP: 0 (-24) pic.twitter.com/CaoWgrxRDH

— Election Maps UK (@ElectionMapsUK) May 22, 2019

LDs are tories confirmed. not a bad result for labour that really

xp does this translate to Dan Hannan losing his seat?

How easy is it to attach a milkshake to a drone? Asking for a friend.

ILXors of old will know my facility with a blender. When we eventually abandon this government and this Brexit nonsense, White Russian milkshakes all ‘round!

if/when she finally steps down can we call the next one "theresa may grim resignation thread"

Dread Some Anal has resigned from the cabinet (she’s running).