"Can I say you're my girlfriend on Facebook?"

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41%2B8ipYFbWL._SL500_AA280_.jpg

it probably beats girls who passively aggressively whinge about their boyfriends, because at least it's positive

I'll feel bad about posting this later, but this is an actual FB status update that I was treated to earlier this week.

emotions are like mountains to me... and i'm barefoot. i wanted to cry last night but nothing would come out.... i feel like a stone. have you ever looked at someone and knew that inside they were dying and there was nothing you could do about it. but you knew someone who could if that "said person" could just search Him out... she sat before me and played her song and i could hear all the inner paininside.

The last time I saw this person, I was kicking out of my apartment because if I didn't, I knew he would happily sleep on my sofa until he got old.

(That was 13 years ago.)

she sat before me and played her song and i could hear all the inner paininside.
http://www.looptvandfilm.com/blog/joelies.jpg

people who respond sincerely and sympathetically to status updates like that one bother me almost as much as the people who post them. but i think i'm just jealous of their apparent ability to be nice to EVERYONE regardless of how annoying other people are.

definitely creepy. it also makes me slightly envious that i don't have platonic friends who are all "I MISS UUUUUUU SWEETIE WE *HAVE* TO GET TOGETHER SOON," insincere or not. not that i'd want to be friends with people like that, i just like the ego-stroking.

It's so much weirder than that with these two girls. I'm talking "Sarah Misses Susan Smith", "Sarah wants to be in Wyoming with SS" "Sarah loves Susan Smith", "Sarah's world is dark without SS" and wall posts that are just "I love you."

And I see a couple of updates or published wall postings like that every day. Every day.

this social networking thing was all well and good until i posted a mildly funny, wholly inoffensive pol cartoon and now my brothr-in-law gets drunk and wants to "debate" it. on facebook. i don't think i want to play anymore.

I have a strict no politics & religion policy for facebook. It astounds me that I have friends who don't.

Are you sure Sarah and Susan Smith aren't actually in love? (Coincidentally, I had an...um...romantic dream about some fictional girl named Sarah last night. Weird.)

also, my gf's cousin (who's like in her mid-20s) is very concerned that neither of us has posted our relationship status and has registered her concern with my gf's family.

it's the next big step for you guys

adults acting like 11 year olds freaks me out

Are you sure Sarah and Susan Smith aren't actually in love? (Coincidentally, I had an...um...romantic dream about some fictional girl named Sarah last night. Weird.)

Yeah, they're both young straight Christian girls from small towns in the mid-West. Innocent as can be, which only makes the postings odder.

and hotter!

(sorry)

It's a love that dare not speak its nameexpress itself outside of status updates.

oh no i'm with will on this one

Why do some people make you send emails like this? This dude writes me out of nowhere, is not identified by the name I know him by, does not identify himself, I have no idea who he is, and he asks me to help him set up a proxy server to Iran? Even if I knew who he was at first, that's just an insane thing to ask. Like I couldn't possibly have anything better to do.

I think you misunderstand me somewhat. When I say that I don't know how to set up and host a proxy server for Iran, what I mostly mean is that I don't care. Please do not ask me to do time-consuming things before I even know who you are. And after that, please continue not to do it.

I mean, if I had the skills and the inclination, I'd volunteer.

The 'friend suggestions' box just came up with jaymc! I didn't even know his real name until now. No friends in common.

WTF?

Okay, is this creepy, annoying, or perfectly acceptable - I'm pretty ambivalent about this:

So this guy I knew about 4-5 years ago, and haven't really spoken to since about that time is my friend on FB. He's constantly inviting me to join causes - probably me and everyone else on his friends list. I know he also trawls friends' friends lists and will invariably invite them to join a bajillion causes. The other day, he calls me at 4:30am. I didn't answer the phone, but he left a message. He must have gotten my phone number from my facebook info, as I've never given it to him, and he was getting kinda batshit when I last saw him, to the point that I didn't want to deal.

ok the phone call is over and above. for the other stuff, some people just blanket-send everything they get to all of their friends. it's annoying but you can set to ignore that person or delete them.

Yeah I'm pretty sure you can file a 4.30am phone call from someone like that under 'not OK'

...and people ask me why I don't have a Facebook. This is the kind of thing I can really live without, even if it means missing the occasional secret BTWS gig over it.

you don't have to put your phone number on your facebook.

The 'friend suggestions' box just came up with jaymc! I didn't even know his real name until now.

If you didn't know my real name, how did you know it was me?

Maybe you have a picture in your Facebook profile?

Ha, I don't know why that didn't occur to me, but yes of course.

either add just any old body or spill your guts and contact info on facebook, but don't do both.

i would probably not do either.

My phone number is (501) 433-1037. Call me for an ass-kicking.

Elmo argonaut just popped up on my "suggested friends" banner. Still can't used to the fact that you people have actual real names and the like.

which one of yous is J4mi3 H4rl3y btw? i know it's an ilxor but sorry, i hv no idea who you are. it's prob someone obvs, right?

lol i got a phone call from a stranger last night who got my # off facebook

a bunch of ilxors have been popping up in my people you may know section - jordan most frequently, also stevem, lex, nicole k3ssl3r (is she even still on ilx?)...wtf.

which one of yous is J4mi3 H4rl3y btw? i know it's an ilxor but sorry, i hv no idea who you are. it's prob someone obvs, right?

Good q. I got a friend request from JH, too, and I don't even know who s/he is.

I just looked up that name, and our one mutual friend is a musician acquaintance who lives in NYC, not an ILXor.

amazing lolz altho shd have been called 'failbook': http://www.lamebook.com/

http://www.lamebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/wtf13.jpg
http://www.lamebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/soundofsettling.jpg
http://www.lamebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/empire.jpg

http://www.lamebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/gross.jpg

don't know if ILX will resize this but

http://www.lamebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/krazyasskali.jpg

thought so

http://www.lamebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/krazyasskali.jpg

^^^yeah, that one. That one.

anyone else have friends who's only contribution to fb is to update their status every other day with "roll on 6 o'clock" or "roll on friday ;)"

fuck me i have some dull friends.

I have a friend whose status updates consist almost entirely of going to starbucks.

I never take those stupid quizzes, but I'm going to start doing them in only Czech, Polish, Slavic, or any other Eastern European language. The results should be more amusing.

http://stfumarrieds.tumblr.com/

was this posted here before?

I had no idea that Facebook-mocking sites were a thing, definitely bookmarking them

http://www.lamebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/andrew.jpg