marketing of masculinity

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D5-03R8XsAAS-BS.jpg:small

always looking for brands that speak to me

I'm part of the Totino's lifestyle. I'll admit it.

I was killing time at the bar over beers last week and started writing down a list of products think are embarrassing to buy versus products that are actually mortifying

kind of split the difference on Charmin with the bears on the packaging

ass cream? you're a man who admits his problems and is taking care of them

water with a metal design scheme? mortifying

the text on shampoo bottles is routinely amazing to me

especially love those that offer a french translation

you're giving away my french language learning program idea

rincez, ecoutez, et repetez

vrais poo for mes sham friends

especially love those that offer a french translation

― mookieproof, Tuesday, May 7, 2019 12:49 PM Bookmark Flag Post

Man, tell me about it. I can't even buy a chainsaw in North America without seeing that prissy language all over everything.

https://i.imgur.com/kVs6llT.png

Hey, Poulan! France is in Europe, ok?

i've never understood why the french are so bad at chainsaw safety, but glad that the safety messaging is targeting them now

miss u, Poulan Weed Eater Bowl

I thought the famous chainsaw massacre happened in Texas?

more like Paris, Texas

The Liquid Death thing has a very retro 90s anti-marketing marketing kind of vibe to it. I could see it being successful for a short time and then falling off the map.

so bad ass....

We couldn't find a makeup brand formulated specifically for men's skin; so we created one: https://t.co/X0xaeIOBsV pic.twitter.com/XDRySRWTkq

— War Paint (@warpaintmufm) May 8, 2019

marketing opportunity missed by not calling it ForSkin

they'll probably change the name to that after they find out that the band "warpaint" contains GIRLS, thus ruining their brand name forever

marketing opportunity missed by not calling it ForSkin

irl lol

This was literally the exact premise of an episode of Corporate.

Men, should you be wearing makeup? Probably – you look terrible. pic.twitter.com/BPWDqahjqU

— Corporate (@corporate) January 30, 2019

So You Want to Market a Product for Men

Remember, any product can be marketed to men, even something that has been the exclusive province of women for time immemorial, like water. All you need to do is make sure your marketing materials are really tough and masculine.

Connect with men by showing them things they love. Things like: fire, tattoos, blood (non-menstrual), skulls, bulls, spikes, leather bracelets, dirt, rocks, SEXXX, mountains, cold hard CA$$$H, motorcycles, barbells, gray T-shirts, red meat, Joe Rogan, golden retrievers, skateboarding, camo, guitars, dinosaurs, sports, knives, arm-wrestling, regular wrestling, the constant all-consuming fear that if you don’t assert your masculinity aggressively enough people will dismiss you, sweat, shredded abs, tigers, saying swears, cigars, quoting Scarface, more SEX, weapons, Tucker Max, baseball caps, jackhammering, mud, trucks, iron, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, abandoned construction sites, brown liquors, those big tires you push over, etc.

So, for example, say you’re trying to sell an exciting new fruit-forward Pinot Noir from Oregon. Call it Dirt Blood, and have your ads be videos of a man driving a truck on a dirt road and chugging Pinot, before pulling over to make out with a woman with big boobs (hot). Then maybe he looks into the camera and says something like, “Dirt … It’s in my blood.” And you’re like, What? But you’re also pumped. You’re pumped to buy a wine called Dirt Blood.

not a great attempt

Love that it only took a handful of replies before the War Paint twitter dude 'actually'-ed a woman.

i legit thought the war paint thing was a parody

We may have previously been safe in assuming such things but we're kind of in a whole new world now.

Liquid Death seems like a pretty tongue-in-cheek angle, the true insecure macho version would be, like, "Tactical H20" in camo flasks (maybe this already exists, but I'd rather not know).

(This is not to say that Liquid Death isn't also stupid and embarrassing).

eagerly awaiting the emergence of an anal hygiene product for manly men

they can call it "DoucheBro"

Emena.

Old Spice

epsom salts?

like ..... water?

an overarching problem here is the stupidity of all marketing i mean i know we all get that but

I wouldn't know who to be without the guidepost of products marketed to my particular demographic. I get the impression that I should be punching more things and perhaps bellowing incoherently.

I get the impression that I should be punching more things and perhaps bellowing incoherently.

As should we all.

I had to go to Target today to buy things like paper towels and household cleaning products, but I reinforced my masculinity by picking up a Blu-Ray set of the first two John Wick movies while I was there.

thinking about picking up some Mandles so my house can smell like napalm

step 1) constantly rub your knuckles at work and complain about how they hurt, until someone asks
step 2) "..."
step 3) "...punched a wall"
step 4) "...I don't want to talk about it"
step 5) drink camo H20

Way to snake my Camo H2O ad pitch, bro. (punches wall)

(damn...that hydrated guy is so manly...)

Maybe my ctrl+f skills are failing me atm, but I'm frankly flabbergasted that no one itt ever brought up Devour, the frozen meals you just can't wait to bone.

there are very few times in my life where I've understood the "punch a wall" impulse but I've heard a ridiculous number of stories of others doing so

https://i.imgur.com/6oyGkCA.png?1

just overheard on a television i could not see: THE PLAID SHIRT HAS SIGNIFIED STRENGTH FOR OVER 100 YEARS

And the plaid skirt did for 1000 years before that, fuckers!

i don't understand that drywall post at all

I think it's equivalent to

Person:
Mildly inconvenienced white guy: Finally! A worthy opponent! Our battle will be legendary!

Is it because some guys punch drywall when they get emotional? I don't get it either.

Yeah, belay my last post, I guess the joke is that white guys will get angry and punch a wall at the mildest inconvenience.

https://i.imgur.com/qVZDQYg.png

https://i.imgur.com/Q65RmTO.png