I'm Also in the Library and It's Raining: WINTER 2018/2019 GAY THREAD

no active daily problems aside from getting infused, surm

cash infusions more concerning

Happy birthday Morbs!

<3
it's a beautiful day out in NYC today but it's getting to be that time of year when it is just too damn hot for me

already? surm you are in big trouble for 5 months then

i know i'm really trying to pace myself here....

Him: Try on those pants, maybe they'll look good on you
Me, putting on pants: How do they look?
Him: They look great. Good pants for a flat butt
Me: ...
Him: They didn't look good on my bubble butt
Me: ...
Him: Awww you have a nice butt, cute butt
Me: Your breakfast sandwich is on the table Captain Juicybutt
Him: Awwww is somebody feeling... butthurt?

So that's what couples are like.

lol indeed they are

Can confirm. I used to be the good butt in my relationship, and there's been a bit of a role reversal lately.

I used to be Captain Juicybutt myself, been demoted to Sargeant Dumbass

Who am I kidding, I've never had cheeks.

My Issue 1 origin story goes like I was born and there was no ass on the infant's body, and my mom looked around the hospital room and grabbed two grocery bags and a stapler off the nightstand and affixed them to my tiny lower back and here we are

I hate this tweet:

Mayor Pete is HBO’s Looking — gentrified , sexless , boring and cancelled !

— cancela lansbury (@gossipbabies) April 24, 2019

Mostly its comma placement, but also everything else it encapsulates about Twitter, identity policing w/in the gay community, and latent monoculture advocacy.

Like, Mayor Pete is Netflix's Schitt's Creek -- toothless , humorless , boring and mystifyingly surging in popularity !

My reaction to this tweet feels like my whole life summed up -- the arc of a period I deeply wished I was normal moving inevitably toward a period I deeply wish I were less normcore. (Though there's just about nothing more norm on Twitter than cancelling two things at once.)

i canceled "cancelling" the day i heard it

i have NO ASS. and i'm not ashamed of it. the bee definitely has the juice, and gives me his old pants often....
so i had another sleepover yall with a guy named Michealangelo. it was swell, he was great. ON TO THE NEXT. I AM DETERMINED.

onward!

I realized simultaneously that I’m irrationally attracted to the musician Josh Homme and that he also looks like what Bart Simpson would look like if he ever grew up

haha he totally does

ok nothing since Michelangelo but my ambitions are not flanked.

Meeting a young man last Friday of unspeakable beauty who turns out straight but wants to immediately set you up with his bi-curious good friend is one of life's more bittersweet moments.

u shoulda turned him owwwwwwwt

omg

I have a shaved head now

gonna trot it out at neighborhood leather night

!!! what will u wear?

my only leather jacket? maybe an A-shirt under

I only have stubble in patches on my head, so i kinda look like Globey from Pee-wee's Playhouse

it's at Excelsior if u wanna drop by :)

I'm at the library!

oh, the leather night was a week early this month, so fuck that.

ok so listen to my birthday plan

a drink at the village vanguard, then ALIENS at IFC at midnight tomorrow, and THEN a nightcap at pieces!!!!!!!!!!

ah i coulda seen Aliens on Mothers Day

i might go to Pieces if i'm awkake! it'd be almost 3 tho

haha same cuz of the late movie! i'll look for you :)

thats what i meant :D

Happy early birthday!

:D :D thank you

I have fewer than 50 days left before I turn 40. :-/

you're still pretty fly. welcome to full adulthood!

and the AARP spam

omg i get so much aarp spam

so like i gained 10 pounds

i don't know how i let this happen but i keep eating pints of ice cream

i think i'm not gonna stress it?

I too have gained about 10 pounds in the last couple years. It’s all happening. It’s finally happening.

i mean here's the honest thing about it
i really do think i'm ok looking with a little pudge and makeup looks better on me when i have the baby fat
so WHATEVER
also i'm sure your ten are like toned and aerobicized

mine (more like 30 lbs) are not, and the boys in their 20s like it

ok that's encouraging

hey y'all !!

i ran into Stevie yesterday at the local farmer's market. it was a very lesbian moment for two ilx gays.

kisses,
tabes

hey table, hope you are well! x

i want to meet gay friends at farmers markets!

<3

It's not gay but it feels gay to walk in the sun to the market to get the natural deodorant and the hair oil I like

Also, completely bizarrely, I didn't know who Cazwell was until 30 minutes ago