CONGRATULATIONS TOMBOT

ok not to be a dick but we get 40x better "crazy" mail than that every day

although with the amount of trouble I had to go through to get that link to work there was no way I wasn't going to be disappointed

yr alterego, Sonny DeMeanor

Glad to hear yr doing good, Tom.

this dude writes us on the daily:
http://hotlineoncall.nationaljournal.com/archives/2009/03/ask_the_preside.php#comment-1319743

oh ralphpaws

is that the new godspeed you black emperor album?

far out. I'm surprised george hasn't had him on coast to coast yet.

congrats 2 tombot

http://s5.photobucket.com/albums/y176/edwardiii/fbi_stop.jpg

I wonder if that guy ever got to the point where he wondered to himself, "How did my life take its turns to where I'm standing here on this corner holding this sign?"

I'm sure in his schizophrenic mind he is HERO

okay maybe I'm not sure but it seems plausible

woah he names a specific guy

I wonder what is going on in yr life where you ponder the question "should I take this concern to the police or make a sign and stand on a street corner" and you choose the street corner

it probably is the point with schizophrenia

Hi, Tombot! Good to hear you're well.

Something somewhere defined the difference between neurosis and psychosis thusly: neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them.

TB, to what do we owe the congratulatin'? Is it newjobnewhoos or generally breaking on through to the other side-related?

toms pregnant!

pause

http://chrissandel.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/juniormovie.jpg

l-r: dan, tom, chaki

http://dic.academic.ru/pictures/enwiki/82/RabbitTestEnglishDVD.jpg

jeezus Tombot congrats. Who knew career happiness would make you so pleasant?

His greatest challenge yet.

The sidebar ad says "Having spinal surgery? Do you want cut or uncut?" which is...wrong, terrifyingly wrong. In several ways.

id like to think that toms history of dealing with the rogue states like 77 and the lbzc has helped steel him for attacks from north korea

he's overqualified imo

id like to think that toms history of dealing with the rogue states like 77 and the lbzc has helped steel him for attacks from north korea

never more otm

quoth the raven

http://www.boingboing.net/2009/07/14/state-department-app.html

State Department apparat asks Clinton to let him use Firefox

Wow, that really IS a lame snipping of the actual answer for lol purposes

stupid fucking question to ask an appointee anyway. reminds me of the Q&A sessions from NSA where people would whine about parking and cafeteria food to Michael Hayden.

oh hey hi dere tom!

I start my fed job on Monday and if I don't get to use Firefox, heads are gonna roll

I should probably call Lisa Jackson and let her know that immediately

lol EPA

I had to start on a tuesday because nobody else is allowed to swear in the same day as the president.

Play Mad Libs with Tombot's professional correspondence:

Gentlemen,

The following quote from the below e-mail has me very confused:
"No one updated the (ACTIVITY) slide last night. I asked (FIRST NAME) about it and he said his shift wasn't doing it. They had to much to do already."

The (PART OF A DAY) shift is staffed by eight people - nine counting their trainee; I understand that two of those people are assigned to (ORGANIZATIONAL ROLE). This leaves Mr. (LAST NAME) with 60 man-hours per shift under (ANOTHER ORGANIZATIONAL ROLE). Why would it take 60 man-hours per night to produce the (COMPOUND NOUN) and the (NOUN), when on (DAY OF THE WEEK) nights, with roughly equivalent (ANOTHER NOUN) volume, it takes one person about 30 minutes?

I spent four hours with the (PART OF A DAY)shift yesterday, and I think I know the answer, but I thought I would raise the question up to my chain of command.

Needs more snark and particular pop references

that is the best passive aggressive note ever!
chain of command!

seriously though guys do I have to remind you of the mad libs, good clean fun on a bus ride, back in the day, young times, with a pencil and pretend-cleverness?

Gentlemen,

The following quote from the below e-mail has me very confused:
"No one updated the donut-makin' slide last night. I asked Ralfazon about it and he said his shift wasn't doing it. They had to much to do already."

The lunch shift is staffed by eight people - nine counting their trainee; I understand that two of those people are assigned to Flibbertygibbeting. This leaves Mr. Starr with 60 man-hours per shift under Luger Cleaning. Why would it take 60 man-hours per night to produce the Donkey Hater and the Quiche, when on Party nights, with roughly equivalent codpiece volume, it takes one person about 30 minutes?

I spent four hours with the lunch shift yesterday, and I think I know the answer, but I thought I would raise the question up to my chain of command.

ACTIVITY
FIRST NAME
PART OF A DAY
ORGANIZATIONAL ROLE
LAST NAME
ANOTHER ORGANIZATIONAL ROLE
COMPOUND NOUN
NOUN
DAY OF THE WEEK
ANOTHER NOUN
PART OF A DAY

Gentlemen,

The following quote from the below e-mail has me very confused:

"No one updated the jaywalking slide last night. I asked Berthold about it and he said his shift wasn't doing it. They had to much to do already."

The early morning shift is staffed by eight people - nine counting their trainee; I understand that two of those people are assigned to Product Liaison. This leaves Mr. Patel with 60 man-hours per shift under Henchman. Why would it take 60 man-hours per night to produce the charm bracelet and the crust, when on Monday nights, with roughly equivalent sweatshirt volume, it takes one person about 30 minutes?

I spent four hours with the late afternoon shift yesterday, and I think I know the answer, but I thought I would raise the question up to my chain of command.

"No one updated the doo doo slide last night. I asked Doo doo about it and he said his shift wasn't doing it. They had to much to do already."

The doo doo shift is staffed by eight people - nine counting their trainee; I understand that two of those people are assigned to doo doo. This leaves Mr. Doo doo with 60 man-hours per shift under doo doo. Why would it take 60 man-hours per night to produce the doo-doo and the doo doo, when on Doo doo nights, with roughly equivalent doo doo volume, it takes one person about 30 minutes?

I spent four hours with the doo doo shift yesterday, and I think I know the answer, but I thought I would raise the question up to my chain of command.

raise the doo doo up the doo doo

Is having a czar really like fighting a network with an org chart? http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2009/08/white-house-cyber-czar-resigns-good-riddance/. I get that the government doesn't control the internet in the same way they control FEMA's budget or whatever, but it seems like someone should be in charge to the extent that they do have any power.

I've actually made the comment several times that our intelligence community only really understands the "threat piece" insofar as it matches how they do business themselves, e.g. certain agencies are only really capable of comprehending the organizational model of the bad guys who already mimic them. So I have to agree with Tanji on that point, and I'm actually glad he points that out. To present a more oblique metaphor than is strictly necessary: Eliot Ness can fight Al Capone, but Eliot Ness cannot stop the greater menace of organized crime, nor can he stop the Torso Murderer.

A commander-in-chief is useful when the primary issue at hand is comprehensible and soluble from a policy perspective, which generally implies reform and preventative measures vice reactive catch-up nonsense. The position of "cyber czar" to date has always demanded a lot of the latter and never permitted much of the former. So in this regard, Tanji's suggestion of a solution (a guy who knows other guys, or whatever) is short-sighted and silly, because he doesn't recognize the real reason nobody in Washington or in the security industry wants this shitty job. One of my coworkers today suggested that Hathaway's desire for the position automatically disqualifies her, in a lovely real-life Catch-22.

To have any effect beyond being another irritating voice on the conference speakerphone, a cyber czar will have to have the kind of teeth to tell the major players (anti-virus companies, ISPs, platform vendors, etc.) that the US government is done with buying products that ship unsafe, that there is no longer going to be a marketplace for after-market bolt-on airbags and safety belts, and that there will be consequences for peering with criminal enterprises.

(Nevermind trying to encourage international law enforcement cooperation and making sure the local cops in china, korea and eastern europe know how to secure evidence that will hold up after extradition)

To my mind, the best option for a "cyber czar" at this point would be one of the RIAA's lawyers who already has a track record of putting service providers and software developers up against the wall and making ugly demands. And that still only works if congress ponies up and gives him or her the legislative muscle requisite to threaten people with. A seat at 1600 with no "Act" is going to be another waste of everyone's time.

Very interesting, thank you.

btw I have had beers with this dude and he and I basically end up on the same page every day

http://www.guerilla-ciso.com/

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/08/07/AR2009080702805.html

lol

SEXYTIME DANCING and SWEDEN V. ENGLAND

i'd imagine after 10 minutes or so the choice became clear.. sweden v england was like an animated gif of unenthusiastic dry-humping

England vs Sweden much better from outside England, I am guessing.

Also Hey Tombot!

england-sweden was fuckin awesome from the central square in sopot iirc

*Waves at a TOMBOT*

Malta also holds Caravaggio's 'Beheading of John the Baptist' in its largest cathedral. Easily the best non-modern art I've ever seen IRL.

T'bot, get child ready for Nats' World Series run this fall