Real England

NHS staff have been sent a warning letter about 63-year-old Christopher Dearlove by its Counter Fraud Service, telling them to ring 999 immediately if they see the man, who also goes by the names Gary Wainwright, Gary Lampard, Gary Ryan and Gary Fowler.

I think I signed him once on FM '07.

Here's the teamsheet for tonight's game and we are absolutely furious because Sydenham have fielded their players to spell out "SRFC ARE SHIT". We know this for a fact because Dane Francis, a striker, is wearing number 3. Hope the league committee throw the book at them for this. pic.twitter.com/SU5uszGbiQ

— Streatham Rovers FC (@StreathamRovers) April 9, 2019

some real bobson dugnutt-level names in there

Sweet. Neil Lennon should consider that for the next Old Firm game.

Streatham Rovers are a joy.

lol ESPN published and quickly deleted a story about this

This would be the first time it had been funny in twenty years. pic.twitter.com/76ZFdEFN8r

— Trevor Bastard CEO & Co-Founder Grannymugger Media (@GRANNYMUGGER) April 10, 2019

'Real England' = comedy twitter account?

smdh @ Kye Cheeseman left on the bench again

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-45650976/meghan-closes-a-car-door

So what's all this about then? Archery practice mishap seems unlikely, given that it happened shortly after midnight.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/apr/19/man-74-shot-with-crossbow-outside-his-home-in-wales

I thought it was only legal to kill a Welshman with an arrow after midnight within the city walls of Chester.

Middlesbrough Council fills potholes after penis graffiti protest https://t.co/1b2slxb284

— BBC North East and Cumbria (@BBCNEandCumbria) April 26, 2019

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D5ySpLYWwAEEm0k.jpg

:D :D :D

I wish I had a clip of the two royalist loons on Australian radio this morning recorded outside the royal baby birth. Sounding like python pepperpots and talking about their brown ethnic baby balloons. SMDH

Same loons Ed?

Fucking hell. pic.twitter.com/82BkoaWErF

— Andy (@alreadytaken74) May 6, 2019

Same loons

https://abcmedia.akamaized.net/rn/podcast/2019/05/bst_20190507_0646.mp3

Jeeeeeesus H fucking Christ. Bit of League Of Gentlemen in the mix too, are we sure it’s not Mark Gatiss in shit drag?

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D6Cy086XoAAu_tI.jpg

... people you thought were dead... Kendo Nagasaki, I mean... obviously... ?

good job Big Daddy unmasked him back in the day or the foreign office might have been fixing to deport him!

My tube driver casually watching porn whilst leaving the tannoy system on… pic.twitter.com/ALWahilGEJ

— Paul Brunton (@MrPaulBrunton) May 10, 2019

Crosspost with Transport in London is shit thread.

'trains and tunnels' gag in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

if his bosses manage to id him he might be facing a period of onanployment.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/grown-men-in-tears-model-16169868

"Can you imagine your life's work wrecked? One guy spent 25 years on his work and it's wrecked, it's just horrendous.

"We will never have the time to build the sort of layouts again, that's where the anger comes from."

It's the blue peter garden all over again

lol, exactly my first thought!

they should send Simon Groom to track down the culprits and make them restore everything to its original condition

4 youths arrested and in custody in Grantham. This might be the paradigm shift the death penalty lobby have been waiting for!

this morning my colleagues all want to leave eurovision

We"re shite so that sounds like a good idea tbh.

Man being escorted by 4 police officers out of the Dept lounge at Gatwick this morning at 8 o'clock for being too drunk to fly, pointing at each cop in turn " I could fight you, you ,you and you. But I don' t want to. But I could....but I could". Repeats this entire sentence 3 times while his ( I presume) girlfriend trails behind him saying "shut up and keep walking".

Was my sister just saying

Lol joek obviously it wasn't me

I hope they found another pilot.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D7O0qRWWwAAgLaN.jpg:large

here be dragons.. well more like here be a total knobhead!

isn't that a Flemish lion?

(still a knobhead probably)

calzino OTM!

A variant of the flag is also used by the Flemish Movement. This variant, without red claws, is often used as well. It is known as the strijdvlag ("battle flag"). It is not an official symbol. It was, however, used by the flemish fighting alongside Nazi and SS troops, and is as such also known as the collaboration flag. It is today used by right movements.

Seriously, should be sending this to Prevent. One of his friends was a dangerous nutcase as well. He's doing time for slashing someone's throat in Asda.

getting exsanguinated in asda is powerfully real england

lol yeah, it happened about 2 am as well and the victim was a friend who'd gone in there with him on copious amounts of crystal meth or coke I'd presume.

You fuckin what? pic.twitter.com/CZYaBilqfE

— Riley (@SRiley95) May 24, 2019

shutupandtakemymoney.jpg

If someone does a computer game based on Diana death tunnel, then Chris Morris should sue them for copyright breach.

paging chris morris' lawyers

The attraction is part of a new park celebrating US magazine the National Enquirer and opens tomorrow in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, reports The Mirror .

Creator Robin Turner said: “It’s a 3D computer model, and you’re looking down on what looks just like Paris, but it’s three-dimensional.

“It’s projected, and you see the buildings and everything in a 3D presentation.

“And it shows the pathway as she left the Ritz hotel, and the paparazzi chasing her, and the bang-flash that we think blinded the driver and how it happened.”

Turner told website Daily Beast : “There’s no blood. There’s none of that. You see the car crash through computer animation.”

https://www.nationalenquirerlive.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/0001-2-1000x566.jpg

not sure why devon live is reporting on news from pigeon forge, tennessee, but i guess real england is a state of mind

HOLY SHIT. She actually said it pic.twitter.com/OxVUs5JWvR

— Anti-Social Media (@ASM_AntiSocial) May 31, 2019