Seizing back control: The ILX lol brexit is how we're all gonna die thread.

XXp think it was only gammons that voted in them last time

good point BB

chuck klosterman knows where its at

what this fractured political landscape needs is someone to ask the hard questions, like 'was barbara bush aleisteir crowley's moonchild and did the bush family help usher in the age of horus'

Grant Morrison to thread

British tourists will be banned from taking beloved UK delicacies such as cornish pasties, pork pies and even cheddar cheese on holiday to the EU after a no deal Brexit, senior EU official said today.

— James Crisp (@JamesCrisp6) April 3, 2019

What about James crisps?

always used to worry in the ferry queue with a boot full of French cheese and charcuterie if we were gonna get pulled on some technicality, this'll just make it even more like Midnight Express

Remember that Crowley wrote the following description of the regime under Horus in 1904. He said:

"Everywhere his government is taking root. Observe for yourselves the decay of the sense of sin, the growth of innocence and irresponsibility, the strange modifications of the reproductive instinct with a tendency to become bi-sexual or epicene, the childlike confidence in progress combined with a nightmare fear of catastrophe, against which we are yet half unwilling to take precautions. Consider the outcrop of dictatorships, only possible when moral growth is in its earliest stages, and the prevalence of infantile cults like Communism, Fascism, Pacifism, health crazes, occultism in nearly all its forms, religions sentimentalized to a point of practical extinction. Consider the populatiry of the cinema, the wireless, the football pools and guessing competitions, all devices for soothing fractious infants, no seed of purpose in them. Consider sport, the babyish enthusiasms and rages which it excites, whole nations disturbed by disputes between boys. Consider war, the atrocities which occur daily and leave us unmoved and hardly worried. We are children."

there u have it, the football pools caused brexit

tbh british cheddar is the only export I'll miss, RIP

Cornish Pasties have been shit since the 1980s

what level of gammon is 'taking a suitcase full cornish pasties on holiday so you don't have to eat that funny foreign muck'

I don't think that was written in 1904.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/qOfdo9oFDkU/maxresdefault.jpg

brb looking into starting a lucrative Only Fools and Horses DVD smuggling racket

sorry, the aeon of horus began in 1904 - crowley wrote that after the fact

otherwise of course it's 100% true and accurate

president xi, please send the nukes now

This is worthy of Yes Prime Minister. Govt source on challenge of reaching agreement between Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn on a customs union: our position is a customs union but we don’t call it that. Labour’s position is not a customs union but they do call it that...

— Nicholas Watt (@nicholaswatt) April 3, 2019

...so the source says the challenge is to persuade Jeremy Corbyn to sign up to Theresa May’s non customs union customs union and not call it a customs union. This would put the UK in a customs union with the EU which would then not be called a customs union@BBCNewsnight

— Nicholas Watt (@nicholaswatt) April 3, 2019

pools coupons led to football accs and fixed odds betting terminals which led to crack cocaine and fluid free sexuality and identity politics iirc

Well it did for me, sure

Littlewoods, Vernons or Zetters?

Crowley would drink goat's blood and sacrifice virgins but wasn't having no truck with commoners putting on tuppence each way Yankees on the gee gees!

that's royal leamington spa for you

Consider sport war, the babyish enthusiasms and rages which it excites, whole nations disturbed by disputes between boys. Consider war sport, the atrocities which occur daily and leave us unmoved and hardly worried. We are children."

ftf aleister crowley

Sexcapades. I sigh, and then I cry, and I wonder why,,,

https://twitter.com/chhcalling/status/111345622923238195
Two gone, this was the MP who was contacting universities to ask about what they were teaching about Brexit. I see he was a PPS, in the immortal words of one of his colleagues:

Your a pps Chris. It is not relevant and nobody gives a fuck. Apart from me obviously.

— Simon Hart (@Simonhartmp) July 9, 2018

The vote to seize Monday for indicative votes appears to have been a dead heat.

And Bercow votes against, as is traditional.

Next vote, majority of one.

MPs pass bill to rule out no-deal by majority of 5 at second reading

MPs have voted in favour of the Cooper bill with a majority of five votes.

Ayes: 315, Noes: 310.

Jolyon doesn't think so

"it is the Swiss cheese of legislation: full of holes"

her ancestors will be spinning in their graves!

Irl loled at that.

Balls. Once again betrayed by mobile posting.

The bill has to go through another stage (committee?) tonight and then it’s passed?

Bill Cash going off on one about the subjugation of the House by the EU and playing the two World wars card

"I'm probably not supposed to say this but we saved Europe twice!"

I tweeted earlier criticising @johnmcdonnellMP and @EmilyThornberry for ‘abstaining’ on a tight and crucial vote. I shouldn’t have done so. Emily was with her kid in hospital and John was himself in hospital. I didn’t know. I’m deeply sorry to both. I wish them both my very best.

— Stewart McDonald MP (@StewartMcDonald) April 3, 2019

whoops

Not in the least like an opportunisteic SNP wanker then.

Stewart, You weren’t to know but I was in hospital having an MRI scan on my leg and hip as I have been having a bit of pain. I couldn’t put it off any more and survive pressure from family and friends. I think it’s a hangover from footballl days when I was a dangerous left back!

— John McDonnell MP (@johnmcdonnellMP) April 3, 2019

still a threat on the left wing amirite?

back of the net!

Guardian liveblog just linked this interview with Bercow, dying at the interview opening with some trademark German directness: http://m.spiegel.de/international/europe/british-house-speaker-john-bercow-on-his-brexit-role-a-1260659.html

DER SPIEGEL: Mr. Speaker, some of your predecessors were decapitated. Is it a relief for you that this kind of punishment is out of fashion?

there’s still time tbf

the eyes and the nose had it

Also why can't I think of a single pork product/Satanism pun this is awful.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, April 3, 2019 8:33 AM (seven hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

In with a very helpful + timely post as is my wont:

https://www.dollargeneral.com/media/catalog/product/cache/image/700x700/e9c3970ab036de70892d86c6d221abfe/8/2/828502.jpg

Blimey by ONE VOTE cooper Letwin Bill passes Commons stages - mandating PM to ask for extension. Backbenchers legislating against Government wishes...

Ayes 313
Noes 312 pic.twitter.com/BTzVCFozxC

— Faisal Islam (@faisalislam) April 3, 2019

The votes aren’t up yet, but I see John McDonnell made it out of hospital & back to go through the lobby for the last few votes!

The votes are inevitably up as soon as i post:
https://commonsvotes.digiminster.com/Divisions/Details/678

will May resign yet

she has no shame!