Seizing back control: The ILX lol brexit is how we're all gonna die thread.

May will drink tea w/ Corbyn. Sounds like a plan.

xp - *rushes into casino, plonks deeds to his house on 00* Yes!

Glad this is finally sorted tbf

I don't actually know what to do with the knowledge that Tom Watson has been listening to 'Pussyole (Oldskool)' on the way to the Commons.

― Matt DC, Tuesday, April 2, 2019 10:22 PM

send it to the sun's newsdesk, let's get him cancelled

― mr greta t. gremlin (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, April 2, 2019 10:24 PM

Watson for PM

jesus why wasnt i called xp

May pleading with Corbz to come to her rescue. Sort of.

May is about to do another podium thing outside number 10 soon after a day of talks, anyone expecting her to say anything new?

MAY: The Leader of the Opposition and I have been alerted to the existence of a...squints at autocue scrobbling service that is believed to belong to the Deputy Leader of the Labour Party...

I think in a sense we all belong to the Deputy Leader of the Labour Party now.

Oh yeah the bit:

"Theresa May says she understands some people are so fed up that they want to leave with no deal. But she supports leaving with one and says we need a short extension to article 50.

She says the debate cannot be allowed to drag on and adds that the Commons’ approach has not worked.

May says she is offering to sit down with the leader of the opposition, Jeremy Corbyn, to come up with a plan to leave with a deal. But she says that deal must include her withdrawal agreement."

Shit. Does anyone know the web address for Zoopla?

"May says the extension would be “as short as possible” and would end once a deal was struck.

She says any plan both she and Corbyn agreed upon would then be put to MPs for approval with a view to it being taken to next week’s European Council meeting.

If she and Corbyn cannot agree a unified approach, May says, then a series of options for the future relationship would be put to the Commons in a series of votes. The prime minister adds that the government would abide by the decision of the House – but only if Labour did so too.

May also says she wants the process to be finished by 22 May so that the UK does not have to take part in the European Parliament elections."

I mean in fairness, this is new. It's also nuts.

I mean, I’ll take this short term scenario over crashing out next week

A quick question: is Labour essentially voting against all Brexit plans (May’s plan, no plan, etc.) on the general principle that they are against leaving the EU?

Apologies in advance if things aren’t so simple but I can’t tell these hobgoblins apart.

xp but if it doesn't work they WILL crash out bc the deadline for signing up to EU elections is April 10th. Gov need to sign up to EU elections but tza has needlessly drawn a big red line under that, it means doing so would be a big capitulation and a nightmare for any sensible heads that try to steer away from the rocks now. since brexit means brexit.

so shes taking no deal off the table (in a soft way or a firm guarantee?) and after that did she give any sign that its her deal or no deal, or did she hint at a shift in her red lines?

xp no, it is the tory's that are voting against all the plans

xxxp But this is still crashing out next week - none of these things she's talking about are I think at all possible - it's just shifting the blame to Corbyn.

this is EXACTLY the same scenario, only she's invited corbyn to a private lipsycned performance of her saying "the will of the people" over and over

this is crashing out. unless she agrees to a long extension now that is the only possible outcome and that would mean doing eu elections which would be undemocratic apparently

A quick question: is Labour essentially voting against all Brexit plans (May’s plan, no plan, etc.) on the general principle that they are against leaving the EU?

Apologies in advance if things aren’t so simple but I can’t tell these hobgoblins apart.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D3GaUlKXQAAxhDv.jpg

Quick reaction to May speech from EU source:
"Not looking great. She didn't entertain the possibility of a long extension or EP elections. And she seems to take for granted a that she can secure an extension to 22/5...

— Tony Connelly (@tconnellyRTE) April 2, 2019

I think EU elections are more plausible than we think.

Two “malicious obstructions” found on railway lines in the UK are linked to Brexit, police believe.

British Transport Police (BTP) said short-circuiting devices were left on tracks near Yaxley, Cambridgeshire, and Netherfield, Nottinghamshire, last month in “a serious and deliberate attempt by someone to cause significant sabotage and disruption to Britain’s rail network”.

Detectives investigating the attempted sabotage “believe it relates to Britain’s exit from the European Union”.

The devices, installed at Yaxley on 21 March and Netherfield on 27 March, were detected by Network Rail workers and removed without disrupting services.

A note found attached to the devices warned: "We will bring this country to its knees if we don't leave."

....

A picture of one of the devices posted on social media by a train driver showed a note reading: "Government betrayal. Leave means leave. We will bring this country to its knees if we don't leave."

The driver, Lucio Buffone, wrote: "Due to European directives, this line had been upgraded to axel counters, so the protest had no effect."

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/brexit-train-railway-line-cambridgeshire-nottinghamshire-police-a8851181.html

If she and Corbyn cannot agree a unified approach, May says, then a series of options for the future relationship would be put to the Commons in a series of votes. The prime minister adds that the government would abide by the decision of the House – but only if Labour did so too.

this is it, she's caved

The May 22nd extension is at least putatively off the table as far as Brussels is concerned iirc due to the WA not passing in MV3? Is that still their stance?

xp I really don't know what the last clause there means - that she'd expect a whipped vote for a later "turn the indicative votes into law" section?

xp in theory yes but everyone knows they’re not going to have a no deal crash out just before EU elections, it’d fuck everyone even more than the no deal would...

xxp yeah, now she has until next Friday to present a plan, the EU has claimed this will now (as in since Saturday morning) need to include EU Elections.

but doctor i am lucio buffone

xp Yeah, but that's why they put the no deal deadline at next week, May would have had it (and by the sounds of things would still like it) up against the elections.

House – but only if Labour did so too.

this is it, she's caved

― ogmor, Tuesday, April 2, 2019 7:30 PM (eighteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

She's prepared to go down and let the UK be sucked into the abyss, but not without dragging Labour with her imo.

She'll drink tea w/ Corbz, they can't find a plan: Labour's fault.

Technical softened black Brexit ftw

brutal blackened death brexit

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to smash up his party so I don't have to smash up mine." pic.twitter.com/f13oUyyUO0

— Tom Peck (@tompeck) April 2, 2019

/If she and Corbyn cannot agree a unified approach, May says, then a series of options for the future relationship would be put to the Commons in a series of votes. The prime minister adds that the government would abide by the decision of the House – but only if Labour did so too./

this is it, she's caved

but only if labour did so too

i mean

what does this even mean

May appears to be arguing, controversially, that legislation enacted by Parliament becomes the law of the land.

It's a head scratcher that one. (xp)

Nah loose lips gave her away, she's thinking of the blame game undoubtedly ahead: no fair we get the blame, Labour needs to get the blame too.

I love this song

PPS: “Just to be really clear: ERG have done this to party. They’ve softened Brexit because they were too proud and stupid to realise what was at stake. Baker has single-handedly put 5 points on Corbyn. Puts him in No10. And it puts the Brexiteers on the moron side of history.” https://t.co/RE3T4zEE45

— Harry Cole (@MrHarryCole) April 2, 2019

xp I'd be amazed if we don't get a few cabinet resignations tomorrow, once they have an opportunity to unburden their troubled souls to a few journalists.

Hahaha hope we get some resignations tomorrow

Pretty disgusting that Tory Marxists are still trying to shift the blame away from Corbyn

Meanwhile the ERG are a bit miffed. Diddums.

Just talked to two ERG MPs. Angry doesn’t quite cut it.

“This is serious stuff. She has fucked our party. She is fucking brexit. She is fucking the country.”

— Lewis Goodall (@lewis_goodall) April 2, 2019

That’s me finally done.. I couldn’t now care less about voting for the next leader .
Jeremy Corbyn has no right to be involved after his behaviour over the last two years .@theresa_may you just killed @Conservatives party pic.twitter.com/wOw9LYkni1

— Adam Brooks (@EssexPR) April 2, 2019

Killed the Conservative Party? If only.

DUP warn of dangers of “subcontracting” brexit to Jeremy Corbyn pic.twitter.com/VJl3bGJN5A

— Sam Coates Times (@SamCoatesTimes) April 2, 2019

Lolllll

If May's looking for someone to bear the blame with her, I would suggest David Cameron.

inviting the Corbz around to own the DUPs!

she shoulda said "Brexit means Brexit" again

If May's looking for someone to bear the blame with her, I would suggest David Cameron.