Seizing back control: The ILX lol brexit is how we're all gonna die thread.

In view of the rejection of the Withdrawal Agreement by the House of Commons, I have decided to call a European Council on 10 April. #Brexit

— Donald Tusk (@eucopresident) March 29, 2019

34 Tories rebelled - weird mix of wets and hardliners.

May:

"On Monday, this House will continue the process to see if there is a stable majority for a particular alternative version of our future relationship with the EU. Of course, all of the options will require the withdrawal agreement."

Jeez, can’t she take a hint.

What a shambles

just fuckin revoke article 50 already, we clearly can't be trusted to do this properly ('properly')

her darting glances sideways like gollum when a point against her hits are really starting to carry more than a hint of actual madness

Fair fucks to the Labour whipping operation, though.

Put the screws to em “jezza”

count dankula MEP

a 2019 election has gone as short as 8/11 - 4/6, it will probably be 1/100 by tonight.

Re: Labour whipping - Ronnie Campbell & Dennis Skinner both abstained rather than voting with government.

What does bantz logic dictate happens Monday

brexit

JC and Johnny Mac obvs coordinated outfits over WhatsApp today.

Xxp The mood is amazing. You could have heard a gnat fart when the tellers were standing ambiguously. Among the politicians everyone seems v upbeat apart from May herself. The ERG look delighted because this pushes towards the abyss, they think, the Tory leadership candidates look delighted.

Corbyn and McDonnell and Abbot sat on the front bench talking long after the chamber had emptied. Watson and Eagle stood nearby looking v grave.

There is a gang of gammon in leisure wear crowding near Steve Baker in the lobby.

I don’t know about you guys, but at the exact moment the vote was taking place all the threads doubled up in my Zing. It looks like parallel realities have been set in motion. Someone somewhere is seizing back some kind of control.

How did ilx fave Stephen Bush look?

Yeah I'm walking outta Downing Street
And they spit in my face
My front bench are dopes
And my back bench is a waste
The Grand Wizards in there
All look like Bill Cash
I've got three meaningful votes
But not a single one passed
When the whip comes down, yeah
When the whip comes down
When the whip comes down
When the whip comes down

May isn't quitting then?

Here is the Guardian guide to how MPs voted.

And here is the list of Tory MPs who voted against the withdrawal agreement at the second meaningful vote (MV2) but for it this afternoon: Lucy Allan, Richard Bacon, Crispin Blunt, Conor Burns, Rehman Chishti, Simon Clarke, Damian Collins, Rosie Cooper, Robert Courts, Richard Drax, Iain Duncan Smith, Charlie Elphicke, Michael Fabricant, Sir Michael Fallon, Jim Fitzpatrick....

Bush looked all chirpy. The lobby is appallingly Young White Men btw - his was the only black face I saw in the entire gallery, and I counted three women in the press section out of about 35.

Did you see dire sketch artists Peck and Deacon?

I guess we're looking at a long extension now and the only thing that guarantees that happening under the guise of the UK reassessing its strategy is an election. Assuming none of the indicative votes passes on Monday.

No, but I did bump a dude doing a dreadful actual sketch in black ink

From a friend at the FT:

"Rumours No. 10 calling a 5pm presser. Fuck them. It's Friday. We're all going to the pub."

It's entirely possible she resigns this evening and nobody turns up.

That would be peak Theresa May.

— John Bull (@garius) March 29, 2019

tbf all sketch artists are dire, it doesn't need qualifying

Honestly fucks sake can someone just hide the lectern

[beloved national broadcaster]’s gossip still holding true, I’d like to thank [them] for keeping me slightly more sane than I otherwise would have been.

[beloved national broadcaster]’s gossip still holding true, I’d like to thank [the person] for keeping me slightly more sane than I otherwise would have been.

What does bantz logic dictate happens Monday

https://therionorteline.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/the-black-night-monty-python-and-the-holy-grail-591472_800_441.jpg

how reliable has [beloved national broadcaster]'s actual official coverage been, as a matter of interest? this kind of insight shouldn't be creeping out as cafe gossip, it shd be front and centre of mainstream analysis -- viz counting heads as accurately as the whips are, seeing thru the daily party pronouncements (all basically deflecting or manipulative garbage from all parties) (lol except the DUP bless em), and keeping everyone single MP's actual real but different red lines clear in their heads and ours too

I’m not sure it’s relevant to this thread apart from Suzy to just remind us of how she’s on speaking terms with beloved national broadcasters...? If they’re not saying it in their paid gig, should it really be on here?

bantz logic: revealed after a long and daring investigation to be posting on twitter as dril, queen elizabeth ii announces her abdication in favour of yung kim jong-un and departs this earth in an alien chariot

straining to think of a national broadcaster who I wouldn't push into a pit, never mind a beloved one!

The most banterific outcome now would be May to just revoke A50, go "fuck it, you've had your chance" and immediately resign.

Can she revoke it without a lol vote?

Flick some Vs in Arlene Foster's face and say, "Gerrit right up ye, ya Orange cow!"

Guess we’re on lectern watch again in an hour.

Thinking that 1 billion for the extension to Arlene Foster's house and for Sammy Wilson's winter holiday in the Bahamas was not well spent.

Yes she can revoke on her own recognisance - though it looks like we'll get MV4 vs Letwin results cage match instead.

calzino - if you push Blobby in, Blobby bounces out higher!

I’m not on speaking terms, really! BNB compered the event where I flayed one T May about 20 years ago when I got invited to be on panels like that and I couldn’t resist saying hello. They were just giving their opinion on upcoming events based on knowledge, not something provable, and because of the parameters of their particular job wrt impartiality etc, they aren’t someone who editorialises on air. So could people itt calm down?

**NEWS FLASH**

Following legal representations from the web site Change.org, Change UK (formerly The Kasabian Group) will be changing its name to The National Pinterest Party with immediate effect.

I think you’ll find they are calm

You are on lectern watch in an hour gyac. I'll be drinking in the pub and devising new ways to troll the usual people.

I've got a new name for my solo project.

https://www.thenational.scot/news/17537521.angry-question-time-mans-flute-band-is-marching-outside-westminster/

I am calm suzy. Just posting as I normally do.

xxp pour one out for those of us under the yoke of capitalism I guess.

did we always all hate each other this much yes

I don’t hate you deems, just your half arsed trolling