"oh you don't get me I'm the end of the union": lol brexit is how we're all gonna die

*taps mayan calendar yet again* we're not alive

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b7/Bolon_Yokte%27_K%27uh.jpg

otm

what a time to be caught forever on the event horizon of dec 21 2012, never able to break free of the spacetime collapse of the apocalypse, i should really have said

what a not-time to be caught forever on the event horizon of dec 21 2012, never able to break free of the spacetime collapse of the apocalypse, i should really have said

ftfy

"MPs have been advised to travel home by taxi when they leave Parliament over fears they could be attacked by angry voters Prime Ministers over their handling of Brexit, Kevin Schofield reports at PoliticsHome."

thank u sensei xp

There's something quite Macbeth like about TM - as if she's been given some prophecy and is holing up, waiting for her moment of anagnorisis, a sign that'll finally convince her she's fucked. Maybe Big Ben tolling is that sign.

if colossal defeats on meaningful votes and being in contempt of parliament aren't signs enough i dunno what would be

except when he's bad steve bell is good:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D2LmRDuWwAAlCNr.png

that is not good

i mean just for a start, the phrase is "fuck off *and* die", it is never presented as two options

This petition will beat the *squints notewards* 'let Clarkson punch whoever whenever' one by lunchtime.

can’t believe she’s going to call another GE on a crush the saboteurs/lets get on with it prospectus

i like the scrunched-up little face on big ben, comments are closed

pretty sure the Gov deliberately crashed the Petition site as they could totally see another 16 and a half million signatures coming

👀

The site crashed this morning because of "a large and sustained load on the system"https://t.co/9B5UNphBRR

— BBC Newsbeat (@BBCNewsbeat) March 21, 2019

it's usually parliament who's dropping a large and sustained load on us, not the other way around amirite

Her tone gets ever scarier. She's now presenting this as "the will of the referendum as interpreted by one is sacrosanct, the choice we in our mercy are offering parliament is to choose which of two ways of fulfilling that they prefer: our deal or No Deal".

Cabinet source today tells me they now sceptical deal pass (narrow pathway closed). So May’s choice at the end of next week could be No Deal or long extension (watch for Cooper/Boles/Benn #3 - which will pass this time). Source thinks she will bend to her party & go for No Deal https://t.co/vVOWhXo3hc

— Beth Rigby (@BethRigby) March 21, 2019

that is... not good

So referendum lucks into victory but there can't be a second referendum, because. Yet May can submit the same exit plan again and again, despite losing each time by huge margins?

that's about the size of it yeah

the only thing that's important to the country is keeping the tories in power from one minute to the next iirc

I managed to win £632.40 on the Irish lotto last night, in your face JRM and erm ..Cromwell!

I think about this quite a lot, because it seems to me to explain a lot of May's attitude: fundamentally, she's never agreed Parliament has the right to reject her deal. https://t.co/7yA3dDeDid

— Tom Ewing (@tomewing) March 21, 2019

OTM Ewing as usual.

time for man like dominic grieve to finally grow a backbone

he never bothered sprouting any higher brain functions, why would he develop his skeleton any further at this point

he'll lose his power of invisibility with a backbone.

BREAKING: Emmanuel Macron says that if Parliament rejects the Brexit deal again next week, "we are heading towards no deal"

— Gordon Rayner (@gordonrayner) March 21, 2019

v cool, time to do some panic-buying of tinned goods

Mark Rutte, the Dutch prime minister, said MPs would have to back the Brexit deal for the EU to agree an extension. Speaking to reporters as he arrived at the summit, he said:

The ball has to be in the court of the British Parliament. They first have to say ‘yes’.

I think the signal today might be that if the British parliament would say a ‘yes’ lock, stock and barrel to everything on the table, then Europe understands that technically that you need time to implement everything in law."

The Latvian prime minister, Krisjanis Karins, said Britain would have to leave without a deal or revoke Article 50 if Mrs May’s deal is rejected again next week. Speaking as he arrived at the summit, he said:

Seems like more or less complete unity.

the good thing about stockpiling sacks of dried food is my pork-fried rice game has immeasurably improved in recent months. Might have to sub the pork with strips of flesh off my arm at some point.

Leo has just said the same.

I've been speaking to a v worried Labour MP who says she received 500 abusive messages (including death threats) in just 36 hours over her decision to vote against the PM's deal. She said she spoke privately to the PM last week to say "the temperature has to be brought down"...

— Daniel Hewitt (@DanielHewittITV) March 21, 2019

...and warn her that "something was going to happen to an MP" unless the debate was calmed down. She said: "Then I watched Theresa May's speech last night and felt utterly sick. I genuinely feel she's put our safety in jeopardy. I fear for my personal safety. I am paranoid."

— Daniel Hewitt (@DanielHewittITV) March 21, 2019

Number 10 "flatly rejects" that the PM's words have endangered MPs. "What the PM was doing was setting out to the public that while we are not going to be able to leave with a deal on time on March 29 she is not prepared to support an extension beyond June 30."

— Daniel Hewitt (@DanielHewittITV) March 21, 2019

Labour MP: "I thought her speech was a fucking disgrace and a licence for every right-wing scumbag in the country to go after MPs. She’s never had to say to a bloke installing a panic button 'needs to be a bit higher mate so the kids can’t reach it'."https://t.co/YPhwyZ6f9R

— Kevin Schofield (@PolhomeEditor) March 21, 2019

who's up for a bit of proper british terrorism eh

we're already at one mp murdered over brexit, wonder how many more will be added to the tally

biggest mistake Remain made was not politicising the Jo Cox murder imo

Remain weren’t even allowed to say a word about it without the Murdoch press, Telegraph screaming that they were “politicising” it.

they should have been instantaneously pointing fingers at said press, at Leave's rhetoric, and doubling-down on them all having blood on their hands, the moment her death was confirmed

Joint statement from the CBI and the TUC, blimey
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/blog/live/2019/mar/21/brexit-latest-news-eu-summit-article-50-extension-theresa-may-appeal-to-nation-backfires-as-mps-accuse-her-of-stoking-hate-politics-live?page=with:block-5c939e4be4b0e8eadf781a2d#block-5c939e4be4b0e8eadf781a2d

love that the party of free enterprise is gonna double-down on boris' 'fuck business' stance and ignore the cbi's warnings entirely

xxp of course, think lots of them had seen how the press went after Miliband for uhhhhhhhhhh reasons and were reluctant to get into that fight again.

revoke article 50 petition's gonna have hit 1m signatures by the time i finish typing this most likely

*firework*

anyomne got any good toilet paper recipes btw

One of the UK’s biggest suppliers of toilet and kitchen roll has been stockpiling about 3.5m rolls in UK warehouses in preparation for a no-deal Brexit.

The German firm Wepa said it had been storing an extra 600 tonnes of toilet and kitchen roll in the last three to four months to safeguard supplies in Britain, in case the UK crashes out of the EU without an agreement on 29 March.

The company has also built six weeks’ supplies of the cardboard core used inside the rolls, as this cannot be sourced from the UK in sufficient quantities and is imported from EU countries in eastern Europe and Scandinavia.

if the nation runs out of toilet paper I will lead a raid on The Sun and The Mail's distribution warehouses

xp
nope, but i buy batches of 108 for £15.49 off e-bay. my hemorrhoids couldn't take that rough murdoch paper as much as I'd love to wipe my arse on it!

Andrex is, or at least was, made in the same factory as the Daily Mail/ Mail On Sunday, fact fans.

Am I right to feel disoriented that the plan appears to be "Present the same Withdrawal Agreement again, having been specifically told that it can't come back without changes"? The phrase "slow motion car crash" is overused, but this is actually nightmarish.

She could change the font to comic sans at least