Real England

LET 👏 ME 👏 DRINK 👏 THE 👏 MUMMY’S 👏 UNDERWEAR 👏 JUICE 👏

Peak Englishness has been reached.

pic.twitter.com/tdM4VUN1wM

— Gary Lee Wadsworth (@Donny_Jpeg) March 2, 2019

WATCH THIS! Wayne Hussey in conversation with John Robb 'Wayne talks about the Mission and going to school with JK Rowling and how she may have based the Harry Potter character on him...! ' https://t.co/5Y1Pl7Xx1g https://t.co/5Y1Pl7Xx1g @mission_archive

— membranes (@membranes1) March 8, 2019

lol! but also tempered with memories of "there's two ppl I thought were complete dish cloths in my teenage years".

dish cloth is rhyming slang for goth?

what's rhyming slang for grebo?

it's also a variation of blood-clarts! Remember the time Fields of Neph got busted for possessing self-raising flour?

the mcdougalls homepride men of darkwave

https://i.imgur.com/wmPLVCz.jpg?1

x-posts to marks - love 'the lore and language of children'.

looooool that’s the UK for ya pic.twitter.com/JCnWdTMJ0v

— scarface (@scarz99) March 12, 2019

Enraged man bashed seagull to death in front of kids after it knocked chips out of his hands https://t.co/h2DOjF9qwi

— Raw Story (@RawStory) March 13, 2019

guy was Welsh but it happened in England so allowed on this thread I think

then he bites seagull's head off and throws it spinning into the sky as it segues into a spaceship..

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D1oYj0WXgAAhcnI.jpg

kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss

what's the update on these irrepressible josh merchants?

They appeared in several episodes of the 2018 season of Benidorm, playing a pair of financial fraud investigation officers tailing transvestite hotel employee Les (Tim Healy).

https://i.imgur.com/c0HPLDU.png

same tbh

Hale and Pace continued their charity work with a 1992 stint as spokespersons for the National Egg Awareness Campaign.

great days, long gone now of course

au contraire - http://www.poultrynews.co.uk/business-politics/marketing/tom-daley-signed-up-to-promote-eggs-in-2019.html

eggs are cancelled

imagine spending a million quid to raise awareness of... eggs

not even the klf had that kind of vision

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CtSstpkWYAQWAp2.jpg

yeah i dunno if sausagemakers should be encouraging consumers to think about the origins of their food tbh

sausages are the unborn children of SHAI HULUD

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/8c/a0/89/8ca08961a22deacba690a262b79a88a6.jpg

(this picture oddly like the last one i posted)

one of my partners 40's/50's era great uncles was a maverick pisshead who ran an unsuccessful butchers business in Dewsbury and was an anti-egg crusader who went into rants about "balls of corruption" when customers asked: where are the eggs? But apparently it was letting customers run up huge tabs and forgetting about it after he'd had a skinful was what run his business to the ground!

"balls of corruption" feels like the edgy slogan world egg day needs in our dark-yearning times tbh

Rejected Temptations song title.

Unexploded WW2 bomb at Chris Grayling's 'no-deal Brexit lorry park' airport - peak Britain reached

— Ross Kempsell (@rosskempsell) March 14, 2019

The most perfect thing to ever happen in Leicester @bt_uk pic.twitter.com/QlSvwITMKh

— Clippy from Tekken (@weikiemon) March 15, 2019

cursed images: let's get together and pin down the aesthetic!

Chip shop curry sauce flavoured Cheddar cheese is a thing apparently. https://www.hotukdeals.com/deals/chip-shop-curry-cheddar-cheese-home-bargains-1-3202350

http://www.windyridgecheese.co.uk/cheddar-cheese-chip-shop-curry

When I opened the seagull killer story it came with an ad featuring blue passports.

H̖̭̪̰E̼̮͚̪͓̙̘ ̳͠C͔̖̦̙̭̗͞O̟̝̞̪͕̮ME̻͈̩̪̹̞͠ͅS̖͍͘

https://i.ibb.co/mGzB2CK/blobbybath.jpg

https://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/news/leicester-news/mr-blobby-caught-spying-woman-2658018

All credit to the busker in this shopping centre, an ambulance crew have showed up for someone who's collapsed and he's still hard at it banging out "Valerie" as they're helping her into the back

— Dan Davies (@dsquareddigest) March 29, 2019

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/mar/30/eurostar-trains-cancelled-as-man-spends-night-on-st-pancras-station-roof-with-st-georges-flag

Thousands of passengers have had their travel plans thrown into chaos after Eurostar cancelled all services to and from St Pancras when a man brandishing a St George’s flag was caught trespassing on the station’s roof. The 44-year-old spent the night on the roof of the central London station, bringing Eurostar services to a halt before he was arrested by police on Saturday morning.

Eurostar was forced to cancel at least eight trains, sparking disruption for the weekend getaway, due to the man being in “a precarious position”. An image showed the man standing in the middle of the station’s roof clutching the flag as police looked on.

Taking back control...of the Eurostar timetable!

anyone who wants to go in or out of France is obviously a traitor so

apart from the posher end of the fash with blatantly French surnames.

https://static.standard.co.uk/s3fs-public/thumbnails/image/2019/03/29/09/StefanRousseau2803-4.jpg?width=1368&height=912&fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=70

Real Transylvania

wait was that a low-key norman yoke gag?

*applayd*

i mean applause i am listening to hawkwind and not really in control

God, it gets worse. pic.twitter.com/1JGTUL4Iiz

— Andy (@alreadytaken74) March 31, 2019

i must've unwittingly strayed in to a perilous demographic cos all of a sudden half the adverts i get through social media are for clarks' polyveldts and the like ('beefburger shoes' as my wife would have it). not even sure who wears them these days apart from my dad. what are the main cultural vectors for these things? who would be the archetypal Polyveldt Man? years ago it would've been strictly geography teachers, but i'm guessing they're rocking the centrist dad classic trainers these days

pic.twitter.com/36SgvOOd9E

— Patrick Doherty (@gwladyrepresent) April 4, 2019

https://www.grimsbytelegraph.co.uk/news/grimsby-news/christopher-dearlove-alert-nhs-hospitals-2730992

NHS staff have been sent a warning letter about 63-year-old Christopher Dearlove by its Counter Fraud Service, telling them to ring 999 immediately if they see the man, who also goes by the names Gary Wainwright, Gary Lampard, Gary Ryan and Gary Fowler.

I think I signed him once on FM '07.