US Politics January 2019: we are #ready to drop something much, much bigger

So many choice pullquotes in that article. Unfettered bumblefuckery all the way down.

Michael Cohen hired an IT firm to rig online polls in favor of Donald Trump ahead of the 2016 election and instructed the company to create the @WomenForCohen Twitter account to laud how sexually attractive he is

incredible

lol that account is still up and tweeting

Such a redundant effort for anyone with eyes and a fetish for slowly-melting faces.

Did someone take stupid's phone away or something ?

Good morning!

xpost I hear he's becoming more isolated and withdrawn.

between "House of Carbs" and "Women for Cohen" this is really shaping up to be the funniest Infrastructure Week yet

Trump is too busy governing and opening the government to tweet.

Did someone take stupid's phone away or something ?

Nope.

The Left has become totally unhinged. They no longer care what is Right for our Countrty!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 17, 2019

Honestly, and maybe this is just anecdotal, but it always seems to me that aside from international travel, whenever he gets bad news/polling or his numbers are down, he stops tweeting as much for a couple of days until it rights itself.

The monkeys in his head very nearly typed out something passably clever with that one.

lmao this is exactly like when I was 10 and would get grounded "MOM!! YOU'RE GOING INSANE!!! DON'T YOU SEE HOW WRONG THIS IS!!!!!!"

As for the @WSJ article on poll rigging, what I did was at the direction of and for the sole benefit of @realDonaldTrump @POTUS. I truly regret my blind loyalty to a man who doesn’t deserve it.

— Michael Cohen (@MichaelCohen212) January 17, 2019

does anyone remember when we first became aware of Michael Cohen? Was it "Says who?" or the time he hit on his daughter over Twitter

hard to remember a time before awareness of michael cohen was a thing tbh

My fondest and earliest memory is "What I'm going to do to you is going to be fucking disgusting."

Stop, you're getting me all hot and bothered.

If anyone is looking for a good lawyer, I would strongly suggest that you don’t retain the services of Michael Cohen!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 22, 2018

So wait...is Cohen suggesting that Trump also directed him to set up a fake 'Cohen makes me paw myself' twitter account?

If I'm reading the story correctly, Trump gives Cohen 50k, Cohen spends 12-13k of it to rig polls, and...keeps the rest? Minus the cost of the boxing glove?

Standard attorney fees iirc.

I think the other way around? Cohen spends 12-13K rigging polls, asks Trump for $50K reimbursement, gets it.

Yeah, for all his con artistry it seldom occurs to me that Trump is probably super easy to fleece in return.

Trump never pays in advance.

lol that account is still up and tweeting

― (•̪●) (carne asada), Thursday, 17 January 2019 13:48 (fifty-eight minutes ago) Permalink

https://twitter.com/womenforcohen

Strong, pit bull, sex symbol, no nonsense, business oriented, and ready to make a difference!

(last tweet is Dec 2016, tbf)

https://i.huffpost.com/gen/691571/thumbs/o-JUSTIN-BIEBER-LINDAY-LOHAN-HOT-READY-LEGAL-570.jpg?6

btw Ashley Feinberg had called this for months

oh my god I FUCKING KNEW IT https://t.co/WFGOfyGYq0 pic.twitter.com/L2u6iOUHwu

— Ashley Feinberg (@ashleyfeinberg) January 17, 2019

xxp lol i think i looked at a parody account of that fake account. ugh i hate this world

imagine sitting down with someone and saying 'hey i wanna pay you some money to make a twitter account dedicated solely to how hot i am'

like how utterly impervious to shame or embarrassment do you have to be in order to make it all the way through that sentence

I have an equally hard time imagining that anyone could ever accept a job like that without going out of their way to undermine the intent. But I guess that's why I'm not getting Wal-Mart bags full of cash from shady lawyers.

I guess that's just marketing in general, making things that hearken the end of human civilization seem palatable, even desirable. Squicks me the fuck out.

um, it's not JUST about how hot he is, it's also for strong moral stances such as

Just like @MichaelCohen212 we DO NOT think it is ok to rape anyone. #movingon @makeitsnowondem @ofarther @HillaryClinton @her

— Women For Cohen (@WomenForCohen) May 25, 2016

However, instead of paying the $50,000 that company owner John Gauger was expecting, Cohen handed him “a blue Walmart bag containing between $12,000 and $13,000 in cash and, randomly, a boxing glove that Mr. Cohen said had been worn by a Brazilian mixed-martial-arts fighter,” the Journal reports.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/cohen-hired-it-firm-to-rig-online-polls-for-trump-says-report?ref=home

― Rhine Jive Click Bait (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, January 17, 2019 8:22 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I need a Winn-Dixie grocery bag full of money / Right now to the VIP section

surely you guys know how easy it is to pay someone or 10ks of 'someones' to tweet whatever the hell you want. like "tweet about how hot I am" is probably number one on the botnet menu

Oh yeah, I hand over a sizable portion of my income to my gf to that end.

I also pay Old Lunch's girlfriend

to tweet about how hot old lunch is?

No to be his gf

Somebody has to.

So in all seriousness, this has been one of the few times Trump has been forced to swallow a poison pill. No matter what he does, he will damage himself.

Gotta say the most likely option is him eventually re-opening the government sans his wall. The shitdown has cost him 2 points in each direction for approval ratings and 538 says it is starting to erode his base some. None of it has to be permanent. His supporters who are going without pay could easily forget their hard feelings later.

But in a few weeks, furloughed workers will count as unemployed and ruin his unemployment stats. His base will hate him if he doesn't get his wall, but the solution has been in front of him the whole time. Re-open the government and tell his idiot lackeys "we are getting the Wall - discussions will continue while the government reopens".

Of course it's bullshit but he'll minimize the damage better than having no wall AND having the longest shutdown in history continuing to hurt the country.

Someone will eventually whisper in his ear that people are less likely to hate him if he ends it now. Nancy has him on the ropes.

problem is all he watches is FOX News which is constantly reassuring him that he's winning and that Nancy is gonna cave any moment now

xpost OTOH, this could be like the time when he continued stubbornly insisting that the USFL play its games on the same nights as the NFL until the entire league immolated.

That Pelosi is 78 and spanking his ass is nice.

(I know just north of zero about sports but I continue to urge people to watch the 30 for 30 episode about the USFL if you'd like a window into how useless a turd Trump has always been.)

If "shitdown" is not a typo, A+ Neanderthal.

BREAKING: The HHS inspector general says “thousands” more migrant children were likely separated by the Trump administration than previously known.

— Dan Diamond (@ddiamond) January 17, 2019

its not even 10 AM yet

sickening

What's with these IGs finally making belated reports. Nothing else to do during the shutdown? Last week it was the DoI IG admitting Trump DC hotel deal was unconstitutional.

Unfortunately, I agree with the White House person who told outlets yesterday that out of control TSA lines are about the only thing that will nudge him.

I wonder if certain government workers, for obvious reasons, don't follow the day-to-day news in the guise of independence, and tackle their tasks as they get to them, like good bureaucrats do.