US Politics January 2019: we are #ready to drop something much, much bigger

My gardener made more sense, and he was missing part of his head

Can't believe y'all missed this key quote in the midst of the word vomit:

I care about crimes and I care about drugs.

a real stopped-clock moment of truth

Cryin Chuck told his favorite lie when he used his standard sound bite that I “slammed the table & walked out of the room. He had a temper tantrum.” Because I knew he would say that, and after Nancy said no to proper Border Security, I politely said bye-bye and left, no slamming!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 10, 2019

daaamn Schumer got played

He made a mental note not to slam the table?

I care around crime
And I care about drugs
Straight up weed
No Angel dust
Label me
Notorious

they are crazy and they like to fart

Trump says the Democrats have "been taken over by a group of young people." He says that in some cases he believes these young people are "crazy."

— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) January 10, 2019

I don't know who to believe about Tableslamgate but I hope the media devotes the bulk of their resources to ferreting out the truth of what is clearly the most important aspect of the interchange in question. Only then can we turn our focus to the precise variety of candy on offer at the meeting.

Wandering free
Wishes he could be
part of their world

He brought candy too. And not the fun sized kind!

And when I'm bribing all my thugs
I think about crime and I think about drugs
And either one particularly appeals to me

Trump tries to work the WaPo fact-checkers on Schumer's claim that he slammed the table at their meeting: "What you should do is give them Pinocchios."

— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) January 10, 2019

okay that's kinda funny

i can't see the word 'crimes' without thinking of this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p0RXcQ94Jc

also, lulz

Dept. of Homeland Security testing of a steel slat prototype for border wall proved it could be cut through with a saw, according to a report by DHS. https://t.co/HUHc318wIa

— NBC News (@NBCNews) January 10, 2019

C'mon, how are a bunch of Central American migrants gonna get a saw?

Any POTUS worth his salt should be able to withstand a similar test, so I would urge the DHS to give it a whirl ASAP

the saudis have proven adept with saws in recent months, maybe they could help their buddy out

Good Mourning!

the buck stops with everyone

seems like a slam dunk thread title but I know it's only the 10th of the month and there is so much ridiculous shit yet to come

AOC calling Tucker Carlson a white supremecist on Twitter right now

I took a 45 minute break from this thread and came back to at least a dozen good thread titles for next month. All of which will be outdone daily. (except "The buck stops with everyone.") xxp haaa

he's completing the evolution from @dril to @horse_ebooks

and back again

Cryin Chuck told his favorite lie when he used his standard sound bite that I “slammed the table & walked out of the room. He had a temper tantrum.” Because I knew he would say that, and after Nancy said no to proper Border Security, I politely said bye-bye and left, no slamming!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 10, 2019

and another thing: im not mad. please dont put in the newspaper that i got mad.

— wint (@dril) December 29, 2014

More like Daily FAPer, amirite?

For those out of the loop, Republicans began to circulate a fake nude photo of me. The @DailyCaller reposted it (!) and refused to indicate it was fake in the title as well.

Completely disgusting behavior from Conservative outlets.

No wonder they defended Kavanaugh so fiercely.

— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) January 10, 2019

party of family values!

you can practically smell trump's synapses frying through the screen

BREAKING NEWS
Trump: During the campaign, I would say Mexico would pay for it, I NEVER SAID THIS and never meant they would write out a check. pic.twitter.com/wYCUhAzshp

— Scott McGrew (@ScottMcGrew) January 10, 2019

Obviously.

they'll write a check and ENJOY IT

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/video/2018/may/30/mexico-will-pay-for-border-wall-and-enjoy-it-says-trump-video

finally!

https://i.giphy.com/media/3o7TKV589sISox9FkY/200.gif

where's the pesos????

party of small government!

The federal government has started surveying land along the border in Texas and announced plans to start construction next month. Rather than surrender their land, some property owners are digging in, vowing to reject buyout offers and preparing to fight the administration in court.

“You could give me a trillion dollars and I wouldn’t take it,” said Cavazos, whose land sits along the Rio Grande, the river separating the U.S. and Mexico in Texas. “It’s not about money.”

https://apnews.com/0b3d63c524214bbdbfb58ce8f61589f0

This morning is approaching peak 'desperately hoping for horrible accident during presidential visit to dog food factory' for me, particularly 'the buck stops with everyone'. He's like some mystical amalgam of every worst quality I've ever encountered in another human being.

I kinda do want him to just declare an emergency, end the shutdown and kick this nonsense to the courts where it will die a slow death tbh

Sen. John Cornyn (R-Texas) warned that it could guarantee the fight over the border wall drags on for years and tie the administration up in a lengthy legal challenge that would effectively halt progress on Trump’s goal of building the wall.

“I think it adds new layers of complexity because we know the first thing that will happen is somebody will file a lawsuit, and it won’t be resolved for weeks, maybe months, maybe even years,” Cornyn said.

When asked if using an emergency declaration would at least let Trump and Congress end the shutdown, Cornyn grimaced and said, “I don’t think that resolves much of anything.”

Sen. Roy Blunt (R-Mo.), a member of GOP leadership, said “there are many ways out of the shutdown.” But when pressed if a declaration was one of those paths, he said it “would not have been my initial thought as one of the ways out of this.”

Sen. Thom Tillis (R-N.C.) brushed off questions about whether he would support an emergency declaration, saying he was instead interested in putting “pressure on Congress to come up with a long-term solution.”

“You can’t be in a national emergency forever. For us to totally secure the border, that’s a multiyear proposition,” he said when asked if declaring an emergency would take pressure off Congress for now.

it's like being governed by my tenth grade homeroom teacher, who ruled by fear and punitive impulses and whose bad, confused arguments were subject to no higher review. "well the supreme court may have THEIR policy, but in my classroom we have MY policy" was a classic quote. like, fuck you, whattyagonnado? just live with the seething frustration of staring down irrational rule that has all the power and all the platform it wants. i recently learned that a few years later some parents finally succeeded in organizing to get her fired so i guess there's always that.

i kinda dig the stupid emergency declaration out, but it does hang on trump being defeated in 2020 so that the next president can just kill the entire thing by dropping the legal battle. it's better than any amount of money getting appopriated towards building any sort of wall which will take 100 years for us to begin to discuss demolishing.

i feel like it's being ruled by 7th grade rich-kid / homework-scorning bullies with an underpaid substitute teacher on his/her phone feckless at the front desk

how bout if we just build a wall around the shitbag

a wall of shit

Have they thought about corporate sponsorship?

we don't need no...defecatttttttttttion

a "cask of amontillado" scenario would work for me but describing the bait would lead me into very stale KFC/taco bowl jokes

regarding polls and blame for the shutdown, still more polled are blaming Trump than Democrats, though Republicans are absurdly bearing little to none of the blame even though it's them refusing to buck the Prez as well. Even one of my best friends yesterday thought this was more a R v D battle until I set him straight.

but 538 says the long-term damage from these things amongst voters is minimal, so I doubt this would swing an election one way or another. I'm glad at least we don't have midterms going on. House Dems need to keep turning the screws, though I feel incredibly guilty that it's on the backs of so many employees.

Trump not having a wall by 2020, that might move a few more voters, though his base will probably just be more encouraged to vote for him cos "without him,, there's 0% chance at a wall!"

xpost Yeah no one even remembers the previous two - two! - Trump shutdowns.

the last one was billed as Dem shutdown

regarding polls and blame for the shutdown, still more polled are blaming Trump than Democrats, though Republicans are absurdly bearing little to none of the blame even though it's them refusing to buck the Prez as well. Even one of my best friends yesterday thought this was more a R v D battle until I set him straight.

well, he did say in his December meeting that he would accept responsibility

was "proud to"

A large part of McConnell is like, "Cool, bro."

sadly, I really do think this thing could go on for six months and it would end up having little to no effect on 2020 since that's so far out and so much other shit will happen between say July of this year and November of next.

and i don't see it ending any other way besides a) Trump declaring a national emergency or b) the Democrats extracting significant concessions in exchange for wall funding. and I can't make up my mind if b) is a good idea, politically (of course, it very well may still be a total nonstarter to the immigration restrictionists like Miller just like it was last year).

it would end up having little to no effect on 2020 since that's so far out

it will be out of the news, certainly, but i don't think the federal workers now going unpaid are going to forget