one out all out: a brexit from the modern world and every one of its problems please (we're all gonna die lol)

No doubt YouGov would be saying 40% of their survey have been loading transit vans with tinned tomatoes since the G Brown era.

if and when people start panic-buying food

Realistically, how is this going to manifest? What kinds of food? from where? The image of people queueing outside a bank is a bad look, but people queueing outside Asda? Maybe thats just roaring trade and a sign of blitz spirit and a healthy appetite!

It won't be queues, but images of empty shelves in asda telling the story. Because panic buying would be ppl filling hire-vans with dry goods and tins ptobs.

Lol i meant probably.

great news for the uk’s booming hire-van industry, a prime example of the kind of economic power post-brexit britain will wield

when we can no longer afford petrol we attach poles to them and carry them, sedan vans for the regency blitz spirit

Uber Alles

canned food already has use-by dates beyond brexit so you could already be stocking up on tins...

just gotta hope there'll be enough fuel to warm up that soup

Canned food has Best Before dates not Use By dates, pro tip for stockpilers

best stock up on salt for preserving any uh shall we say ‘meat of opportunity’ one happens upon being piled in the streets post-brexit too

and no no doubt chloroform might be in short supply as well.

"best before the hungry times"

forget about blitz spirit, post-brexit burke & hare spirit is where it’s at

dennis nilsen spirit rly

"Burkean Hare" = post-Brexit "long pig"

long pig and sawney beans

at some point I'm almost expecting Gove to do a Gummer style family demonstration (with one of his brats tucking into some tasty wormeal) about the nutritional and health benefits of eating insects.

gummo family demo morelike

"Burkean Hare" = post-Brexit "long pig"

― If I Said you had a beautiful body it's cos I'm a mortician (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 January 2019 15:04 (seven minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

one post to make brexit worthwhile

what was:
*small gummer child recoils from burger dad thrusts at her, as watching millions chuckle*
what will be:
*small gove child grabs and devours writhing worms dad thrust at her, in evident familiar delight, as watching millions recoil*

I ate a dried grasshopper on New Year's Eve. It actually wasn't bad as long as you didn't look at it.

a ringing endorsement of Brexit

This will turn it

https://metro.co.uk/2019/01/03/police-banned-taking-holiday-brexit-day-deal-fallout-8306204/

Police officers have been told they can’t take a holiday for an entire month after Brexit day on March 29.

More than 3,000 officers from Kent Police, who are responsible for the Port of Dover, are being held back to deal with the fallout of a potential Brexit no-deal.

operation brock? thought we'd gassed those bastard badgers already

https://t.co/R3Dj3C5iDk?amp=1

Like much of the country I was dazzled by Nick Clegg during the 2010 election TV debates

I had been clinging on to my political heritage and the promise of what might have been, had Blair not led Britain to war in Iraq, had Corbyn not become leader, had David Miliband stuck around or Ed not eaten that bacon sandwich.

The death of a million Iraqis being compared to a Jewish man awkwardly eating a bacon sandwich in terms of things that put her off Labour. Good to know!

But hey, it's not all bad:

Since joining I’ve canvassed, attended meetings and hustings, placed coloured stickers on a Brexometer (it’s really a giant whiteboard, but useful for gauging opinion)

Assuming she's standing as a parliamentary candidate where she's living (Tooting I'm guessing by the mention of Sadiq), then she's got no chance of winning. Could help hand the seat to the Tories in a tight contest though.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tooting_(UK_Parliament_constituency)#Elections_in_the_2010s

Lower than vermin.

She used ‘politically homeless’, bun her.

At least by dint of an Irish grandad she is also an immigrant and incapable of racism.

The Irish being incapable of racism, after all.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/alexwickham/theresa-may-brexit-vote-gaming

There is an increasing belief among prominent Eurosceptics that if May fails to get her deal through the Commons, she would prefer a no-deal Brexit to a second referendum or general election. The veteran Brexiteer Peter Lilley is expected to publish a new paper in support of no-deal at the weekend.

Putting on a Northern Irish accent, a senior member of the ERG told BuzzFeed News: “No surrender,” confirming they had been told by the DUP that their MPs would also not support the deal unless it includes a unilateral break clause from the backstop.

heard it

xp. time to get the band back together

https://www.historyireland.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/76_small_1265289815.jpg

http://www.jeremy-duns.com/blog/someduediligenceonaaronbastani

AB's PhD turns out to be about how brilliant he is, while pretending it's not about him.

don’t know if that’s the most extremely weird spat big boy bastano has been involved with recently - or his open feud with countdown’s rachel riley

https://t.co/R3Dj3C5iDk?amp=1
― If I Said you had a beautiful body it's cos I'm a mortician (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 January 2019 18:11 (two hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Now we learn that opinion among the Labour Party membership has hardened. Nearly three-quarters want a Final Say referendum and 16 per cent have considered quitting just like I did.

was labour right at accept referendum result? yes
do you think corbyn's doing a good job? yes
do you think labour could get a better brexit deal than may? yes
would you like labour to offer a second referendum? yes
would you vote remain in it? yes

contrary to what team FBPE would have you believe, the answers to the last two questions don't override the first three questions

just to be clear, no deal means the hardest of borders with ireland, correct? it's surprisingly difficult to prise this basic fact out of the journalism around the various possibilities in play rn

oh and also no deal means no transition/"implementation" period, right?

This is a funny one:

The vegan sausage roll furore reminds me of my favourite moment of the 2017 general election campaign: Theresa May had gone to a factory in Mansfield to take questions from workers, and various journalists has come along to watch (myself included) https://t.co/sCgU1VRWXe

— Jon Stone (@joncstone) January 3, 2019

just to be clear, no deal means the hardest of borders with ireland, correct? it's surprisingly difficult to prise this basic fact out of the journalism around the various possibilities in play rn

― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 3 January 2019 21:15 (seventeen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

if nothing else is sorted out inter alia, yes

its kinda hard to state with any certainty that the wto border protocols would be tolerated for long, tbh

but each side seems to think that the aversion to this eventuality is their trump card, as opposed to a heaving pile of disaster

The Irish being incapable of racism, after all.

― Never Turn Your Back On Virginia Woolf (Tom D.), Thursday, 3 January 2019 19:07 (two hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ah not incapable just twinkly-eyed charming about it nb irish-americans prob capable of racism

xxp
CCHQ just lack that knack of knowing where to find people who say what they fucking want them to say, should have asked the BBC for some advice.

nb irish-americans prob capable of racism

you know well there's no such thing as irish-americans, only irish people and... people from ireland, or something

oh i know but im trying to be gentle with em

tom knows fuckin well an all

but deems - there is no inter alia apart from that which can be got via the eu, who have said this is the only deal? unless i'm missing something (likely!)

trying to be gentle with em

I may have been too subtle

The vegan sausage roll furore

So glad work is such a chaotic shitshow I still have no idea that this is about.

it's possible

xp to tracer

im not sure tbh. the eu positioned themselves so firmly and squarely behind the irish border question so early that ive not seen any great analysis on what mechanisms might exist for a deal after hard brexit

i do get the feeling that this was seen as both a strong backing for ireland but also as a handy way to put an impossible blocker front and centre while looking squeaky clean

there would almost certainly be scope for a negotiated border after a hard brexit, everyone having lost the brinkmanship war by then....right?

right?