Furtive Nips 2: Ghost Protocol

Am now on day 5 of flu, with symptoms mostly abated, and feeling comfortably exhausted but with no stamina or appetite. I managed to miss the whole Xmas shebang! I might actually get up to day.

Glad to hear your daughter’s visit went well Aimless.

Between Trump and Brexit, 2019 is going to be a hot mess. So why not start early? My family's usual Boxing Day leftovers lunch has taken a Zeitgeist predicting turn. Instead of the usual practice of serving up bubble and squeak made with the leftover sprouts and potatoes, we had microwaved baked potatoes topped with grated cheddar cheese alongside the cold turkey, stuffing, sausages wrapped in bacon, cranberry sauce, and gravy. Well whatever - some random shit thrown on a plate fits the tenor of the times. Also we had a trifle that looked like it had passed through a liquidiser. Not to mention the crackers. Including this prophetic joke:

Q: what kind of ball doesn't bounce?
A: a snowball

seriously considering having a kid just so I can justifiably ditch the wider fam christmas obligations from here on out

so tiring

ha see I feel like having kids makes it harder to ditch everybody! perpetually envious of those without kids who can just say “yea we’re not participating this year”

i got two full days left at my in-laws and then an 8 hour drive back to the great lakes. i can’t wait to wake up in my own house

Right, came to reply to that post about having kids “um, I’m not sure it works that way.”

when you move overseas w kids it works that way! flights for five are $$$ so we just stay put. My oldest is 18 now so really we are the family now, rather than our parents.

ugh there’s no way out

at the risk of sounding grim, christmas is for children
therefore, if there aren't any, you don't have to celebrate it if you don't want to (many people seem to want to from what i can tell)
i endured yesterday by cooking all day

I found family invites actually became a thing of the past having a kid with classic autism type behaviours. But once I got over the outrage and disappointment I just thought: fuck every last one of 'em and realised it was actually a blessing!

A surprise addition to our family meal was my brother's girlfriend from when they were in their mid-teens -- they were young and rebellious and wound up having a kid together when they were 16, and weren't together long. Their son, my nephew, OD'd and died this past summer and my brother has been really supportive and solicitous in all the ways he didn't know how to be 25+ years ago. Anyway my brother invited her to dinner with his current girlfriend's blessing so his ex wouldn't be quite as alone for the holidays. My wife and mother thought it would be weird and strained, but it turned out very nice, and I was really proud of my brother -- he's matured into a real human in the past few years.

Since we're currently based in the UK, my wife decided to take advantage of France's geographical proximity by spending the holidays with her side of the family for the first time in eons. I prefer avoiding my in-laws when at all possible and am closer to my parents than my wife is to hers so it's nice to be back in Canada for a suitably low key nuclear family Christmas (I have no brothers or sisters or uncles or aunts and even if I did, they'd probably be in Romania).

Lovely story WmC.

Seconded.

at the risk of sounding grim, christmas is for children

counterpoint: when someone buys your child a robot minion(tm) controlled by a tablet, dear god

lol

A surprise addition to our family meal was my brother's girlfriend from when they were in their mid-teens -- they were young and rebellious and wound up having a kid together when they were 16, and weren't together long. Their son, my nephew, OD'd and died this past summer and my brother has been really supportive and solicitous in all the ways he didn't know how to be 25+ years ago. Anyway my brother invited her to dinner with his current girlfriend's blessing so his ex wouldn't be quite as alone for the holidays. My wife and mother thought it would be weird and strained, but it turned out very nice, and I was really proud of my brother -- he's matured into a real human in the past few years.

― Juul Haalmeyer Dancers washout (WmC), Wednesday, December 26, 2018 9:44 A

Best thing I've read in this thread

my youngest will be a teen this coming year so the toy days are done & that is a blessing in itself. what a bunch of dumb plastic crap we bought/were given over the years. RIP

nothing niece received managed to get the phone out of her hand for more than 30 minutes

at the risk of sounding grim, christmas is for children

This is not my experience except in the way that everything is "for" children when they're around.

One thing about having kids that does contribute to improving this situation is that they themselves are fun to be around during the holiday longueurs.

This is very definitely not my experience - I love my niblings but they are at their worst during the competitive consumption that is Christmas.

i endured yesterday by cooking all day

with delicious results, I'm sure.

yes indeed

christmas is a good argt against the view that mental illnesses exist primarily within individuals

Please tell us in a few days that you surreptitiously went around the GOP presidents painting with a pin, putting pinprick holes in all the presidents’ pupils. I so would.

Pinpricks? Okay, good first step but... Red LED lights! Conveniently plentiful at Christmas time IMO. WKIW Demon GOP poker game painting.

For me, so far, children have helped distract from awful Trumper in-laws. Children have offered alternative conversation topics.

The specific ppl involved? It's complicated. My own personal children are very digital and pretty much don't play with toys. But relatives with 20th century ideas of childhood want to give them things. So we navigate that.

Personally I only want booze and music gear. Both of which I could easily just buy for myself.

I was gearing up for the religion vs science discussion with my father-in-law after his recent pilgrimage to the Creation Musem, but welfare ended up being the argument du jour, with his twin brother. Plot twist: my father-in-law ended up on the right side of that one! He's a strange and often self-contradictory man.

uh dude him and his twin swapped places to mess with you

lol

I've averaged at least two desserts per meal, including breakfast, the last couple of days. kids didn't go overly crazy, all is good.

the dumb plastic crap enslaught beginneth

I didn’t even know Jordan had gotten married to have in-laws

I'm exhausted. I'm fat. I have a mouth ulcer. my liver hurts. my mood swings between cheerful sentimentality and mild upset. it's definitely Christmas

protip: get some adjustable pliers to work those leftover almonds from seasonal nut selections, and wrap it in a towel so you might actually find some almond remains amongst the debris.

^^^

sending this one back in time to myself.

my brother (right) and me (left) doing our annual "ridiculous gift" exchange

http://i68.tinypic.com/2i6dph3.jpg

pistachios>>>>>>almonds

counterpoint they’re both amazing

The holidays never live up to what we want them to be.

(The best part has been my son getting a keyboard from us and watching him play it. Nothing else measures up to that. So I shouldn't complain.)

my mom is randomly listing her years- and even decades-old grudges against people i don’t know

friend of mine publicly posted a Christmas card on FB that her estranged mother sent. her mother apparently forged it to make it look like it was from the friend's grandmother, guilting her for not calling more often. they're now beefing on FB for all to see.

I feel fairly grateful not to have that kind of relationship with my own folks.

My dad looks a bit down. He's had a series of TIAs and doesn't speak well anymore, though his thought processes are all fine. he just has trouble finding words. and needs knee surgery and doesn't want to use a cane.

my mother is unduly hard on him though and I think that is where his stubbornness comes from. I stayed over an extra day so I could spend more time with him. trying to get my mom to ease off a bit as there were definitely plenty of times where the tables were turned where she wouldn't have liked it if he was that harsh on her.

don't get me wrong tho she has her own share of health problems and I love them both dearly.

still have a weird unarticulated animosity toward my sister, but y’know I love her. like it’s a button-pushing contest that I seldom play these days, but earlier this year I snapped at her without explaining myself. she showed up at the parents’ griping about stuff in a fair manner, but I’d been slowly reflective before then because one of my immediate coworkers had died days earlier

there’s this weird cross-judgmental thing where we don’t actually know each other’s shit but judge based on what we wrongly infer, imo

also I’m mostly aging better, or would be if I drank less. we were’t exchanging gifts at the gathering but she gave me a grab bag of beers. willful sabotage imo

we're all getting older; if you love people then show them imo

that wasn't meant judgementally

Ugh, funeral today, which is my worst possible social occasion. But it’s over now.

I mean, of course funerals suck, but it’s also family I haven’t seen for years asking what I’m up to, etc.

I loathe "what are you doing" smalltalk, especially from snidey cunts who already know your circumstances are not currently good.

they quit bothering to ask me about 10 years ago

I just say 'nothing' and stare through them

idk what ppl are meant to ask tho

i mean

what would ye like ppl to ask ye