Furtive Nips 2: Ghost Protocol

yeah that one goes over great with little ones! that and james bond lives down our street were guaranteed hits at my niece’s birthday parties when she was a kid

i have reached my mom’s house; it is of course a mess

npr-stylee xmas music is depressing the fuck out of me and i wish i could get jon solomon’s show instead

for those in your position, the thought that Christmas comes but once a year should provide a small amount of relief. just hang on a bit longer and it will all be over.

My spouse and I very rarely have conflicts. Except today, apparently.

cannot wait until this godawful fucking holiday is over and i get to drive back to my weirdo isolated red rock paradise with another 365 days in between me and the shittiest time of year.

i don’t live in a red rock paradise but otherwise I am feeling this. i feel like i’m dying here. uh for real my in-laws have the painting with the republican presidents - with trump, it’s the updated one - sitting around the poker table hanging above the mantle. not even that though it is more just the non-stop social obligation going from 7am to 10pm and feeling so distant from the routines that ground me otherwise. get me the fuck out of here. i feel so worn down.

Oy. Sorry dude. Merrrrry Xmas

Please tell us in a few days that you surreptitiously went around the GOP presidents painting with a pin, putting pinprick holes in all the presidents’ pupils. I so would.

We didn’t even leave the house and have no guests and me and my partner still managed to get upset with each other; Christmas is extremely terrible

Suzy were fapping on the 3rd if you’re in London, come!

it's almost over

maybe three more hours and then i can not think about this cursed holiday for another 12 months

One of my neighbors played loud bass-heavy music from about 8 last night till 5:30 AM. Three of my neighbors, none of whom are usually upset by loud music late at night, called the police. The police did not come. I thought about going out into the building's parking lot and stabbing his tires, but did not.

more just the non-stop social obligation going from 7am to 10pm and feeling so distant from the routines that ground me otherwise
Feeling this. Successfully kept my cool through the morning micromanaging of gift-opening and furniture moving and the myriad other confusing conflicting chores but now getting worn down by the continuous chatter that never seems to want to stop.

It’s like some Spanish Prisoner/Nigerian Prince con game that the extroverts use against us introverts to take away our time and good will.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPMEW2klP6U

it's over!! i drove through a blizzard and made it out the other side to my quiet little trailer in heaven.

it's nice to be home at the end of it all

not even that though it is more just the non-stop social obligation going from 7am to 10pm

oh god yes. i actually snapped last night. everything about the holiday, the enforced merriment, the shitty traffic, the control freak relatives etc. had made me absurdly grumpy. i was in bed waiting for my sister's husband's relatives, who were upstairs, to leave so i could get some leftover snacks. i waited until 11 pm and they weren't gone so i walked upstairs with my headphones on and started getting some food from the kitchen. everyone at the dining room table adjacent to me waved very cheerfully and said "hi matt!", i lifted up my headphones and said "i'm not in the fucking mood" and put them back on, got my food and went back downstairs. 😬 i'm emailing them an apology.

xp omg it feels incredible.

we didn't have overly stressful plans or anything but the whole thing w/family is work for sure and i'm delighted to be back home drinking whiskey, watching basketball, and hanging with my cats while having no obligations for the next 3 days or so.

wooooot

We have evolved a Christmas routine that makes a virtue out of the potential tensions of shared-custody holidays. The kids always spend Xmas Eve with their mom at her mom's house, so they wake up and have Christmas morning there. That means my wife and I can sleep as late as we want on Christmas, then get up and make coffee and/or cocktails, do our own gift exchange, and then wait for my in-laws and the kids to all arrive sometime after noon. This makes for a relaxed day that still has enough family buzz about it to feel like a holiday.

Sing with me! "It's the mooost pass-aggro tiiiiime, of the yearrrr"

My daughter came home for Christmas. It was good, if a bit nerve-wracking. It's never easy to predict the state of her health or whether a crisis might arise. We had some good, quiet time exchanging gifts and some minor difficulties getting her fluids into her. After she was safely snugged into the wheelchair van and on her way home again, my wife and I each had a slug of scotch whiskey and exchanged a long hug.

hi!

xp <3 aimless

i can't sleep because of im guessing calories im guessing hi

Cripes, good morning

Am now on day 5 of flu, with symptoms mostly abated, and feeling comfortably exhausted but with no stamina or appetite. I managed to miss the whole Xmas shebang! I might actually get up to day.

Glad to hear your daughter’s visit went well Aimless.

Between Trump and Brexit, 2019 is going to be a hot mess. So why not start early? My family's usual Boxing Day leftovers lunch has taken a Zeitgeist predicting turn. Instead of the usual practice of serving up bubble and squeak made with the leftover sprouts and potatoes, we had microwaved baked potatoes topped with grated cheddar cheese alongside the cold turkey, stuffing, sausages wrapped in bacon, cranberry sauce, and gravy. Well whatever - some random shit thrown on a plate fits the tenor of the times. Also we had a trifle that looked like it had passed through a liquidiser. Not to mention the crackers. Including this prophetic joke:

Q: what kind of ball doesn't bounce?
A: a snowball

seriously considering having a kid just so I can justifiably ditch the wider fam christmas obligations from here on out

so tiring

ha see I feel like having kids makes it harder to ditch everybody! perpetually envious of those without kids who can just say “yea we’re not participating this year”

i got two full days left at my in-laws and then an 8 hour drive back to the great lakes. i can’t wait to wake up in my own house

Right, came to reply to that post about having kids “um, I’m not sure it works that way.”

when you move overseas w kids it works that way! flights for five are $$$ so we just stay put. My oldest is 18 now so really we are the family now, rather than our parents.

ugh there’s no way out

at the risk of sounding grim, christmas is for children
therefore, if there aren't any, you don't have to celebrate it if you don't want to (many people seem to want to from what i can tell)
i endured yesterday by cooking all day

I found family invites actually became a thing of the past having a kid with classic autism type behaviours. But once I got over the outrage and disappointment I just thought: fuck every last one of 'em and realised it was actually a blessing!

A surprise addition to our family meal was my brother's girlfriend from when they were in their mid-teens -- they were young and rebellious and wound up having a kid together when they were 16, and weren't together long. Their son, my nephew, OD'd and died this past summer and my brother has been really supportive and solicitous in all the ways he didn't know how to be 25+ years ago. Anyway my brother invited her to dinner with his current girlfriend's blessing so his ex wouldn't be quite as alone for the holidays. My wife and mother thought it would be weird and strained, but it turned out very nice, and I was really proud of my brother -- he's matured into a real human in the past few years.

Since we're currently based in the UK, my wife decided to take advantage of France's geographical proximity by spending the holidays with her side of the family for the first time in eons. I prefer avoiding my in-laws when at all possible and am closer to my parents than my wife is to hers so it's nice to be back in Canada for a suitably low key nuclear family Christmas (I have no brothers or sisters or uncles or aunts and even if I did, they'd probably be in Romania).

Lovely story WmC.

Seconded.

at the risk of sounding grim, christmas is for children

counterpoint: when someone buys your child a robot minion(tm) controlled by a tablet, dear god

lol

A surprise addition to our family meal was my brother's girlfriend from when they were in their mid-teens -- they were young and rebellious and wound up having a kid together when they were 16, and weren't together long. Their son, my nephew, OD'd and died this past summer and my brother has been really supportive and solicitous in all the ways he didn't know how to be 25+ years ago. Anyway my brother invited her to dinner with his current girlfriend's blessing so his ex wouldn't be quite as alone for the holidays. My wife and mother thought it would be weird and strained, but it turned out very nice, and I was really proud of my brother -- he's matured into a real human in the past few years.

― Juul Haalmeyer Dancers washout (WmC), Wednesday, December 26, 2018 9:44 A

Best thing I've read in this thread

my youngest will be a teen this coming year so the toy days are done & that is a blessing in itself. what a bunch of dumb plastic crap we bought/were given over the years. RIP

nothing niece received managed to get the phone out of her hand for more than 30 minutes

at the risk of sounding grim, christmas is for children

This is not my experience except in the way that everything is "for" children when they're around.

One thing about having kids that does contribute to improving this situation is that they themselves are fun to be around during the holiday longueurs.

This is very definitely not my experience - I love my niblings but they are at their worst during the competitive consumption that is Christmas.

i endured yesterday by cooking all day

with delicious results, I'm sure.

yes indeed

christmas is a good argt against the view that mental illnesses exist primarily within individuals

Please tell us in a few days that you surreptitiously went around the GOP presidents painting with a pin, putting pinprick holes in all the presidents’ pupils. I so would.

Pinpricks? Okay, good first step but... Red LED lights! Conveniently plentiful at Christmas time IMO. WKIW Demon GOP poker game painting.