Barfly Best Practices

the miserable cunt landlord + his rude staff in my local wouldn't even get a steam off my piss tip off me. £4.60 for a pint of Stella, the place is full of unfriendly white-van yeomen arseholes and it's only 2 years since someone got murdered in the car park. The first time I went in there someone rudely shoulder barged past me because i wasn't a reg and the fool i was with sez: don't worry they were like me that with me for a few years as well.

Just out of interest calstars, how much do you pay for a pint in your bar?

$5 for the cheap stuff, $8 for everything else. Quite a jump. Occasionally there are happy surprises like seasonals that are out of season for half price.

that's just about as expensive as the some of godawful pubs here charge, although if you don't mind making a vile multi-millionaire richer it is much cheaper at Wetherspoons branches. Very much a no-tipping culture in the pubs here because we are such a socialist country.

Flashbacks to W4dd3ll sock puppets arguing with themselves in DNs above.

When ordering from a bar and sitting elsewhere, do so from out of arms-reach from others who are sitting at the bar. This reduces the opportunity for others to reach out and grab your tip.

This is not necessary if you never leave cash attended, which is the preferred practice.

Yeah I think in that situation I would either be running a tab (in which case I will tip upon settling up), handing over a card (in which case I will tip on the receipt) or handing over something like the right amount of cash (and suggesting that the change should be kept).

Not sure what barfly mechanics would entail my leaving cash within the reach of other patrons.

Further, if I'm ordering from the bar but not sitting at it, it's likely that the bar is so crowded that there IS no place out of arm's reach.

Sometimes you can’t help but be served by two bartenders. Sometimes there’s just no other option. In these cases you just have to roll with the punches and forgive however many lost buybacks you will miss.

if they care they close your tab when they're going off shift surely

Stupid Mexican beer in a pint glass with a lime slice on the lip drinking tip: rotate the lime a half turn every few draughts and sip from there

Or you could just squeeze the lime into the beer and leave it there

I had to completely refactor my mental calculus when drinking (or eating dinner) in Manhattan because the idea of separate checks or the wait staff splitting the check just does not compute. I mean, fair enough, I'm a traveler in a strange land, I must learn the ways. But it also explains why Venmo took off like crazy in NYC more than other places -- you're constantly having to send your friends cash because they got the tab!

so I guess I'd recommend paying per drink when sitting at the bar with a chum to make it easier, or carrying enough cash to just divvy up the bill. Or just buy the drinks and give the person you'll never see again a "you can get it next time!" wink

Keep in mind: mixed drinks don’t have a set alcohol content

When paying in small denominations, lay the cash out in separate piles for the drink and the tip

When finished with a can, crush it slightly to let the bartender know what’s up

If there are multiple bartenders and there is one you favorite, don’t be afraid to tell the others if you’re approached that you’re “good” with a wave of the hand. Then just be patient til you can order with your preferred.

One way to hit on a bartender is to say, “buy you a drink?”

An experienced server (one that’s probably worth your time) will tip cash face down. When you collect your change, leave the bills for the tip face up.

what is this nonsense

servers must fucking hate you

barfly best practice: run a tab, pay once, when you leave, tip 20-25%. fin.

does the alcohol go in the mouth or can it be drank another way

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GCcoaSq3x4

I don't get this leaving cash out on the bar.

Yeah, if it's a tip, but keep it in your pocket otherwise.

Keep in mind — from a bartender’s perspective, there’s nothing more useless than a patron commenting on the music.

ugh, nice newer bar and this group came in and they all are sitting, not waiting in a line. and two are doing the “holding cash up to get service” move. ok, it’s a small space and they are servicing _your group_ from left to right. you are the only people this guy is serving. and the guy near me has money in hand and singles on the bar in front of him, in some passive aggressive “this is the tip” move. and when he is about to be served, he puts those singles back in his wallet

diiiiiiieeee

If the tables are wobbly, place your drink in the middle

If the drinks are wobbly, place your

came here to post the same video as brownie upthread

When paying with a card at a new place, provide the most exclusive plastic (or metal) that you can. This may lead to better service and customer prioritization in anticipation of a large tip.

rich people are bad tippers so this probably won't work

my wife got a 10% tip from one of the countries wealthiest real estate developers/art patrons

lol yeah

this thread makes going to the bar seem like going to the soup nazi

“When in groups of 5 or multiples of 7, make sure to all sit on the same side on the booth and throw 8 five dollars bills folded into airplanes towards the bartender every 24 1/2 minutes”

also know the code name for your drink. calling it by its real name is an insult

Bwahaha

Assuming the bartender is busy, lower your cost per hour at the bar by bringing a thermos or flask from home

PROTIP: Don't go to a bar during COVID

Sometimes a big tip is necessary to alert a new or unfamiliar bartender that you’re “worthy” of buybacks. So if there’s someone new behind the bar, be generous and look forward to the next time for reciprocation.

Just stand in one place and drink until you fall over

If it’s busy, and you score a good spot or table: to deter squatters, order doubles, and have a spare drink on the table at all times

how is that not a dick move

If it’s crowded, place your half empty drink in clear view of the bartender so that it’s clearly visible when they make their rounds. This allows them to quickly assess, together with a nod on your part, that you’re in need of another round.

half empty? we only drink half?

Drinking half is a dick move

Tip directly into the recipients hand / vision

You all stealin what’s not yours can gfy

When arriving at the bar and verbally greeting the bouncer or bartender, volume is more important than content

strolls into doorway, screams "FUCK UP CUNT!!!" across the room, returns to outdoor seating and waits for preferred beverages to be fetched.

When paying cash and breaking a large bill, if you have enough for a tip in small bills, give that to the bartender when he gives you your change. This precludes the never-graceful “let me give you a tip from the change” interaction