one out all out: a brexit from the modern world and every one of its problems please (we're all gonna die lol)

maybe don't expect any better from the press, maybe don't have my outrage mode turned on this morning, agree that Brokenshire should die and fuck the Graun

Oh and also, glad as ever to see the BBC have another platform to headmeasuring book-eating turbocunt Matthew G00dw1n:

“Migration from outside the EU into the UK is increasing... Britain will become ‘less white’ in the short term. Leavers may ask, what was it I voted for?”

If EU immigration falls, it doesn’t mean borders are closed, explains Matthew Goodwin#newsnight | @maitlis | @GoodwinMJ pic.twitter.com/zWHQ4QUd1U

— BBC Newsnight (@BBCNewsnight) December 18, 2018

Don't want to pile on this or anything - and not at all outraged, its in line with what I expect of the reporting. Zero expectations.

I only care about Brexit because the government could fall over it. The only chance of a Left Labour government before 2022 would be because of it - perhaps our only chance before then to begin reversing some of this stuff. xp

So, what could happen?

1. No confidence vote against the govt, Theresa May loses, General Election happens, May Resigns because she said she won't head the conservatives into another election, Tory leadership election runs quickly, Boris wins in a sense of "well, he's better than May and at least makes people laugh, and people like him more then Jeremy, probably" - Election is run and mmmmmm.... ?

Boris has lost a lot of popularity and polls less well than Corbyn. I think May is the only Tory who outpolls him?

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/theresa-may-tory-leader-poll-corbyn-boris-johnson-a8572801.html

I hope they do make Boris leader, Labour will walk the election.

The European Commission will at noon today publish its preparation plans for no-deal Brexit. Here are some highlights based on early info: (thread)

1) UK nationals residing in other EU countries will from 29 March no longer have the right to live/work there.

— Dave Keating (@DaveKeating) December 19, 2018

I'm fine with what the Housing Minister says about housing being considered newsworthy - ideally you'd switch to someone who knows more after every sentence, who'd explain that he's talking nonsense - which is pretty much what the Guardian have done there.

I'm also 100% on board with calzino having a column to rain shite* on a different minister every week, but that probably goes in the other half of the paper.

*though I'd point out that "80s geography teacher" is an aspirational look for some of us - could we swap in 'pederast'?

How about 'Belle & Sebastian fan'?

same

"80s geography teacher" is probably way too decent to use pejoratively, my apols. And fuck that profusely sweaty bus station paedo!

May Resigns because she said she won't head the conservatives into another election

"What I'm clear about is that the next general election is in 2022, and I think it's right that another party leader takes us into that election" - I can definitely see her considering an election before then to be a distraction from the great work that she wants to finish first.

why don’t we split the difference between belle and sebastian and pederast and go with ‘epehebophile’

tbfttl i'm sure that the majority of Belle and Sebastian members are not ephebophiles

tbfttl&l

Boris has lost a lot of popularity and polls less well than Corbyn. I think May is the only Tory who outpolls him?

I interpret this as any incumbent being able to outpoll an opposition leader. May does attract a ridiculous amount of sympathy from centristas tho granted.

xp yeah i considered the best way of doing that abbreviation and then just mentally conjoined the l/l

farrell im shocked that you dont acknowledge the all-encompassing nature of l!

xxp I think this is correct but I can’t see PM Gove attracting anything near to May’s numbers. Her personal numbers were sky high last year, amazing to think that she had the highest approval ratings since Thatcher.

there is an argument to make that she is not as obviously batshit alien as yr Goves and yr Johnsons

now y'all can go ahead and laugh at that distinction but

xposts re Brokenshire article, yes the Graun have countered his comments with comments from Shelter etc which is good, but he gets the first and last word and his comments are neutrally introduced as "said" whereas opposing viewpoints are all "according to Shelter", "Crisis responded by insisting that"...

The current lack of scrutiny or censure for obvious dishonesty is p. depressing. Obviously politicians were never the most honest breed but now they don't even have to try not to be found out by anyone who might talk to the papers; feels like something important's broken and it's not clear how to put it back together.

& on housing, there was a piece in the FT recently (Working but homeless, not paywalled iirc as it's their Christmas charity appeal), looking at a homeless shelter hostel in Kent, with the quote "It used to be more than 95 per cent of the place didn't work, and they were all on benefits, but now, it's probably only say 10, 15 per cent, maybe less." I knew there'd been a trend in that direction and those are just anecdotal figures but I found them p. shocking all the same.

Over the past two years there've been quite a few lone tents and tent villages dotted along the river here. When I first noticed a guy who emerged from a tiny riverside tent every morning looking immaculately groomed in a suit and tie and clutching a briefcase it seemed bizarre, but I guess this is part of the new normal. Grim times. (It floods round here so it will not be a good scene if it's a cold or wet winter.)

here's hoping he avoids the flood, and John Harris

t/s: floods vs john harris

take me to the river

It's possibly a bit ruthless, but anything that distracts the JH tin ear from Autism/SEN matters for a period might be a mixed blessing! No, probably too ruthless.

I guess my post did read rather like "I didn't care about homeless people until I saw one dressed like a banker" but that was not what I meant obv and I'm sorry that it sounded like it

it was just incongruous to my pre-austerity standards

Lol pmqs is such a shitshow

May: The leader of the opposition must accept his responsibility in delivering Brexit!

All the centrist twats on twitter RTing that line

Field day for lip readers: Jeremy Corbyn spotted calling Theresa May ‘stupid woman’ at the end of their PMQs exchange LOL (she really is).

He said stupid but not woman, there’s no pursing of the lips for the start of “woman”

Yeah, don't know about that.

WATCH: Jeremy Corbyn appears to call Theresa May a "stupid woman" at PMQs. pic.twitter.com/sA1Q1INSK0

— The Red Roar (@TheRedRoar) December 19, 2018

(probably best to mute that)

an anti-semite AND a misogynist smdh

They're still going on about this huh

Nope, purses his lips for “stupid” but not a second time for “woman”. Is a two syllable word which fits but even enlarged and slowed, don’t see it.

xp the pm restored the whip to an MP under police investigation for sex offences so he could vote for her last week ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but that’s nbd

Corbyn appears to know he’s in trouble. Here he is, watching the ‘stupid woman’ point of order from the Commons tearoom (ht a very helpful MP) pic.twitter.com/lhdCtWKvXu

— Tom Newton Dunn (@tnewtondunn) December 19, 2018

Having to watch Tories act all "we're shocked, SHOCKED at this behaviour" is one of my least favourite things :(

Whip restored to TWO sex pests last week.

Dan Hodges saying Corbyn’s in big trouble so obviously not, eh?

this is a hilarious controversy

OTOH he could just say "I used language unbecoming of an MP and apologize" and move on, no?

also nice of Corbyn to weigh in officially on the "baldrick cunning" thread

Dan Hodges saying Corbyn’s in big trouble so obviously not, eh?

LOL, what a useless chump.

this level of desperation is heartwarming

Ah a Sun hack is on Twitter to tell us about misogyny.

To explain this debacle we now go live to new Minister Without Portfolio Gillian Duffy

If you were a novelist and named your fictional secretary of state for housing and communities Brokenshire no one would swallow it.

I know we've moved on lol

Hot take - this will change precisely no one's mind about anything but will distract everyone for 24 precious cliff edge hours and really fuck up the Christmas shopping trips of a lot of professional lip readers.

the BBC are really running with this, it's like a Day Today bit

Anything to avoid reading and reporting on a 168 page racist white paper published by the government today I guess