rolling new food laboratory inventions for american chain restaurants thread

they got a goth taco now

The idea of taco bell itself is fantastical and surreal

http://www.ladbible.com/news/food-kfc-is-now-selling-a-fire-log-that-smells-like-fried-chicken-20181213

Wow. And we thought your food was an uninspired pathetic imitation. Get fucked, Denny’s. No one goes to you for the pancakes, they go to shoot up and OD in your bathrooms. Not that it matters.

Eat Arby’s https://t.co/AGepu81iV9

— Nihilist Arby's (@nihilist_arbys) December 23, 2018

Whoa, Denny's with the hip all-lowercase tweets

i know faux-brand edgelord tweeting is tired but darned of those guys can't still crack me up

https://www.instagram.com/thatbilloakley/
lots to parse in the steamies

https://munchies.vice.com/en_us/article/ev3w3p/wellness-brands-are-trying-to-convince-americans-to-eat-chickpeas-for-dessert

“I heard this deep intuition that ‘your purpose is to spread your glitter,’” she said. “It hit me so profoundly to spread my glitter through dessert hummus.”

Eurgh glitter

my turkish neighbors made me a lovely chickpea based dessert recently and it was nice but once or twice a year would do me fine
no glitter, thankfully.

give it a try!
https://ozlemsturkishtable.com/2010/12/asure-noahs-dessert/

https://www.delish.com/food-news/a23711610/burger-king-black-slushies/

I can't unsee the distorted screaming monkey face in the meat sticking out of the "P'Zolo" at top of thread

well hey dere lil buddy!!!

Looks more like a meerkat to me.

https://www.qsrmagazine.com/news/white-castle-has-created-its-own-version-sloppy-joe

“At White Castle, our Cravers are our family, and we’re excited to share with them this new take on a classic family cooking tradition,” says Jamie Richardson, vice president at White Castle. “Much like our Original Slider, the sloppy joe has been an American favorite since the early 20 century. Our Sloppy Joe Slider is an homage to the classic recipe, that also features the bold and craveable flavors to which our fans have grown so accustomed.”

‘cravers’? ffs

Admirable effort on the part of White Castle to shorten the already lightning-fast mouth-to-anus travel time of their 'food' products. Pre-digested was the only way to go.

Why does this sound so post-apocalyptic?

https://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/08/3f/f4/93/white-castle.jpg

new White Castle veggie sliders are A+

First fast food chain to get the Impossible Foods burger. I want to try this, but nearest WC is hundreds of miles away.

I think A&W in Canada was doing the impossible burger first? But the WC sliders are better....

Have taco bell and pizza hut ever done collabos to take advantage of the combination pizza hut and taco bell thing? I'm picturing, for example, a taco inside a calzone -- the Taczone? The Calzaco?

Wait a minute... I've got that taco smell...That pescado smell...I've got a lot of smells...I've rolled a lot of Ls

https://www.bojangles.com/news/press-releases/bojangles-salutes-the-stars-of-breakfastwith-flour-tossing-billboard-chance-for-basketball-fans-to-win-legendary-prizes/

Bojangles’ is putting the spotlight on its heroes of biscuit making during the basketball-filled weekend with a billboard in uptown Charlotte showcasing the dramatic image of a real Master Biscuit Maker – Nate Cox – tossing flour in the air. During the weekend of basketball festivities, the unique billboard will periodically shoot simulated flour into the air.

“Bojangles’ Master Biscuit Makers are stars on our roster because they are up early working hard to bring delicious, made-from-scratch buttermilk biscuits to our customers every 20 minutes,” said Randy Poindexter, Bojangles’ senior vice president of marketing. “This is a great opportunity to showcase their skills and use our flour power to help fans win some legendary prizes.”

The simulated flour is powdered asbestos and aluminum

Randy Poindexter!!!

is this ilx poster nerdstrom poindexter’s true identity

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/19/dining/nyc-pizza-upside-dollar-slice.html

“I respect the garlic powder,” Mr. Grossman said, looking pained. “But that’s just not what we’re trying to do here.”

“Dough time is not the same as human time,” Mr. Grossman said.

fascinated by the new world of "pizza consultants"

https://www.thepizzaconsultants.com/buy-recipes

I can show you how to professionally construct Subs that will put fear into the hearts of all sub shops around you.

a business slice

i will show you fear in a handful of crust

could someone shoot me a little bit

https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/kfc-launches-new-crowdfunding-campaign-to-turn-their-craziest-marketing-ideas-into-a-reality-300806183.html

https://www.ebay.com/i/153317861895?chn=ps

jesus

the future is dumb as fuck
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/little-colonel-locator#/

i have a new favorite source for this shit and it's BEEF MAGAZINE

https://www.beefmagazine.com/beef/beefshi-makes-its-culinary-debut

Move over cronuts. Throw those kale chips in the trash. Forget the unicorn frappes from Starbucks.

Foodies, pay attention! There’s a new “trendy” food headed your way, and your taste buds are going to love it!

Earlier this month, the North American Meat Institute (NAMI), working with the beef checkoff, created a new culinary concept called “Beefshi.”

Beefshi beefs up traditional sushi by utilizing beef favorites like pastrami, corned beef, jerky, beef hot dogs and beef bologna in sushi rolls that are both eye appealing and delicious.

Texas Asade Sushi — Roast beef rubbed with lime zest, ground cumin and garlic and rolled with Cilantro, slivered jalapenos and onions, crumbled cotija cheese. Served with salsa.
Inside Out Wisconsin Maki — Sushi rice on the outside wrapped around a stick of summer sausage, a sliver of Colby cheese and shaved dill pickles. Served with brown, spicy mustard.
New York Deli Roll — Corned beef takes the place of nori on the outside of the roll. Slivers of fresh horseradish and Swiss cheese are rolled into the middle. Roll the exterior in a few caraway seeds.
The Reuben Roll — Warm pastrami, sauerkraut and thinly sliced Swiss cheese rolled into sushi rice and served with Russian dressing.
The Hiker’s Roll — A traditionally styled roll with nori wrapping around sushi rice, filled with slivers of beef jerky, slices of egg omelet and pea shoots or watercress with the leaves poking out the top of the roll. Dip into sriracha.
Carolina Sushi – Shredded fried beef bologna and carrot slivers rolled in rice with a vinegared cabbage leaf in place of Nori.

http://beefshi.com/ has a bunch of "new for 2019" concepts, including the absolutely horrific-sounding Muffarolletta

i don't want any of those thanks

The Muffarolletta may actually be the most promising of these. Italian olive salad is sold in every grocer in N.O.,LA, and when the cupboard is otherwise bare in the wee hours I've put it on spaghetti or rice. It doesn't really need the additional tartness of sushi rice, though.

More in the product name category, Vapid Vodka

https://www.lagrandeepicerie.com/dw/image/v2/BBWG_PRD/on/demandware.static/-/Sites-lge-master-catalog/default/dw8e181d32/images/DIS/3346040119904_1.jpg?sw=680&sh=680&sm=fit

Reading the description makes me want to taste it (and their gin).

https://www.thespiritguild.com/spirits/

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/mar/15/move-over-mcdonalds-french-taco-poised-for-global-expansion

that looks fucking amazing

And suddenly France gets an obesity crisis (she writes, drooling).

wowww

The cheese sauce is gross imo. Otherwise it’s just a kebab in a tortilla, at least as kebabs are here, with fries amongst the meat. Don’t get me wrong, i like kebabs, but tacos aren’t a good advance.

There's a Moroccan joint serving french tacos in Mainz. Will be there next weekend, eat, and report.

that's a weird thing to call a "taco"

Oh, I had those tacos a couple of times in Paris because it was the latest thing open on the block. I would eat those again.

It was good because they had an assortment of interesting sauces and they had falafel balls as an option instead of getting meat.