US Politics December 2018: ~very legal and very cool~

would just like to point out that Mueller hasn't even released his report yet. there's almost undoubtedly more bad news coming for Donnie.

were the Sunday comments of Jerrold Nadler (incoming Judiciary chair) observed?

is he the one who basically said yeah, sooner or later it's pretty inevitable he's being indicted?

Step 1: Citing the extreme seriousness of some or other problem it has noticed, Congress passes legislation making certain actions into federal felonies carrying long prison terms and congratulates itself on its judicious solution to a grave problem.
Step 2: A careful investigation establishes that the president committed those felonies.
Step 3: Congress checks to see which party the president belongs to, so it can decide how it must respond.
Step 4: Every member of Congress cites their grave constitutional duty before casting their vote according to their own party's best interests and congratulates themselves on their judicious solution to a serious situation.
Step 5: Regardless of the outcome, the president is somewhat inconvenienced.

go fuck yourself, Captain Obvious

i would be v happy if donnie jr, jared, and ivanka all ended up in separate prisons and dad trump watches his whole fam implode while he makes the case for his own innocence as he loses badly in 2020, a boy can dream

Yeah, I'd be happy with his story ending the same way The Shield ended.

Only if Trump is Shane. “Family meeting!”

My new favorite quote about this administration:

"“Why would anybody want to be Donald Trump’s chief of staff unless you want to steal the office supplies before they shut the place down?” said Chris Whipple, who wrote a book on White House chiefs of staff called “The Gatekeepers,” expressing the views of many outside the White House about Mr. Kelly’s job."

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/10/us/politics/white-house-hiring-trump.html

why doesn't he just name jared? bringing peace to the middle east can't take up that much of his time

Jared is also in charge of the opiod crisis iirc

That sounds like a lot, but don’t forget, he is a god damn genius

In the WaPo article:

“It’s a well-oiled machine,” quipped one Republican close to the White House who spoke on the condition of anonymity to talk candidly, a reference to the president’s claims that oft-documented chaos does not exist. “I don’t even know why they need a chief of staff. I guess they need somebody to pour the oil in once in a while, but that’s a part-time job, right?”

tump used to talk about being his own chief of staff

https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/379867-trump-considered-ousting-kelly-and-serving-as-his-own-chief-of-staff

PLEASE do

There's more convincing to be done. Hammer away with investigations until the mushy middle get sick of hearing about Trump's crimes. Take actions that seal the deal for 2020.

sleeve, I see that having to clean all that spittle off your computer screen every couple of days has put you in bad mood. try to cheer up a bit. mate. maybe eat a cookie. two, even.

maybe not in front of your computer, tho

Prime The Pump, Pour The Oil

read this to die instantly: Why ‘Truth’ Is James Comey’s Word of the Year, by james comey

oddly there is no mention of how truth factored into his re-opening of the clinton email investigation just days before the 2016 election in this unbearably self-righteous drivel

i just i can't
is loving fossil fuels a republican identity politics thing, or is there something else going on?
https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/europe/that-was-awkward--at-worlds-biggest-climate-conference-us-promotes-fossil-fuels/2018/12/10/aa8600c4-f8ae-11e8-8642-c9718a256cbd_story.html?utm_term=.ee9b52ab3f74

it's money

it's always money

When you're a fossil, only one kind of fuel will do.

Luckily Australia, and only Australia, is there to back the USA up on this like the shitwizards we truly are.

good morning!!

only David Roth should be allowed to write about Trump tbh

https://deadspin.com/normal-man-donald-trump-hilariously-fucks-up-army-navy-1830995551?

All of these little things, the 'Donald Trump does not know how to spell 'smoking'' thing and the 'Donald Trump does not know how to flip a coin' thing, they seem so insignificant on the face of it, barely worth mentioning, good for a momentary chuckle and a disbelieving shake of the head. But in most instances where we intentionally select a human being to undertake a task on our behalf, we might ponder a list of qualities which make that person seem like a weird robot that was just constructed earlier in the week, and we might then set a max threshold of like four or five of those qualities before we say 'nah, something ain't right with this dude, he doesn't seem to know what a mailbox is so I don't think I want to hire him to do my landscaping.'

But this is the president of the fucking United States, and every day reveals one or more of these previously-unrevealed qualities.

Yes it's almost like it says something dark and weird about not just American politics but the fundamental nature of humans as animals and what triggers our neural responses. Like a synaptic knee jerk that affects everyone but in different ways. As feral as he is, he is instinctively keyed into something primal and effective. Fortunately, I'm not sure it's something you can really learn, so I'm not sure anyone else could harness it more effectively or competently. Like, if it was more competent, it would be less effective.

Yeah for all the stupid articles trying to read the tea leaves of what every idiotic thing he says and does means by political hack, Roth actually identifies these small things that do illustrate who he is

He can be left there indefinitely, if also sometimes rolled out for those ceremonial duties. Those he will fuck up in hilarious ways, because the man has no idea how to do even simple things. He has never done those simple things and is too stubborn and checked-out and incurious to learn them; all he has done is golf and gossip and complain and sometimes shake rich people’s hands for decades now, and so these things are not simple at all to him.

I've never seen the point of criticizing his spelling and public statements; for him it's a form of jiu-jitsu.

we saw this shit already with Reagan, although worse because he was popular for most of his eight years.

The only thing I'd like to point out is that, in his defense, Joe Namath had probably guzzled a bottle of expensive scotch before he went out there so at least he has that excuse

Ok that coin toss is really funny

Especially that little smirk and shrug he gives before doing it. What an asshole.

i was down a q rabbit hole and his loyalists there have turned the shot of him with arms wide open into a triumphant painting type thing

spinning shit into gold plated shit

Almost inspirational. It’s not the cards you’re dealt etc

I've never seen the point of criticizing his spelling and public statements; for him it's a form of jiu-jitsu.

― Your sweetie-pie-coo-coo I love ya (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, December 11, 2018 7:33 AM (seventeen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

With respect to individual instances, I concur. Like the number of 'OMG, WHAT EVEN IS SMOCKING' articles I saw yesterday was a little sad. It's all about the cumulative quality of these glitches and turf-outs.

i was down a q rabbit hole and his loyalists there have turned the shot of him with arms wide open into a triumphant painting type thing

spinning shit into gold plated shit

― maura, Tuesday, December 11, 2018 8:48 AM

yep

Like, can we all agree that Donald Trump would not survive long if left to his own devices? Like if we put him in a little house with all of the amenities and gave him a stipend to take care of his bills and his food and whatnot and we didn't provide him any assistance with day-to-day tasks which we all do pretty much without thinking about them...dude would be dead or at least grievously-ill within a week, week and a half tops. Why is he in charge of anything?

Why is he in charge of anything?

You just buried the last great weird robot leader of the United States.

The late President Trump would be twitching and sparking in his grave if he could hear you now.

Like, can we all agree that Donald Trump would not survive long if left to his own devices? Like if we put him in a little house with all of the amenities and gave him a stipend to take care of his bills and his food and whatnot and we didn't provide him any assistance with day-to-day tasks which we all do pretty much without thinking about them...dude would be dead or at least grievously-ill within a week, week and a half tops. Why is he in charge of anything?

― my hand is finally unglued from my face (Old Lunch), Tuesday, December 11, 2018 2:00 PM (sixteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Dude do you get tired of rewriting this post twice a month cause I sure get tired of reading it

Who is ghost writing posts in my name, I demand to know it

i demand to see the tax returns

I can see we have ILXers still in shock that Trump won.

we should discuss the reasons why we think that happened, just to get everybody up to speed

Did Hillary Quentin have any responsibility for this, y/n, and also explain your answer and what he could have done different

Look, this thing has affected everyone in a variety of ways, and I for one am a broken shell of the man I once was, so I beg pity of you. Pity me, please.

Sometimes when trump gets super saucy to the press corps, I feel like I am back at work dealing with one the trophy white guy hires again. "no, you need to double click on the mouse. Two clicks... try it again but faster. And make sure you click all the way. click click."