Words, usages, and phrases that annoy the shit out of you...

I've got an 'overly bunch of coconuts

i LOVE "this website"

Thanks, customer service wageslave. Yes, when I requested that billing correction, I actually only wanted your deep understanding and sympathy, not money.

Thanks for reaching out to us, I certainly understand your concern and assure you not to worry at all.

I truly see the importance of being fairly charged. Rest assured we're actively working to make sure all of your experiences are up to your standards, so you, coming to us with this concern will help us determine how to improve our services better. We apologize for your inconvenience caused by our policy and we wish you to know that customer satisfaction is our highest priority.

The specific usage or phrase in this case would be telling me not to worry, which is IMO appropriate to say only a) if I have expressed worry rather than a simple professional request; b) if you are about to resolve a problem that might be causing me worry; and/or c) if you know me personally.

, so you,

like "that marabou scarf is so you"?

mick signals, those go down a lot easier if you mentally read them in the voice of HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey

Huh! You're right. Even better if I mentally set myself adrift in frigid vacuum afterwards.

“There’s no need to press numbers. You can speak to me just like you would a real person.”

"rapey"

Had this yearly 15-minute meeting with my principal today where you look over whatever diagnostic testing you did in the fall, flag students of concern, etc. And this: "How are you empowering modern learners?" "Um...I talk about Richard Nixon a lot!"

I didn't actually say that--it occurred to me on the way home that that's what I should've said. (I instead, as I always do, mumbled something close to "Um, you know, a little bit of this, a little bit of that.") I have to remind myself that I'm retiring this year, and now's the time to openly mock every mind-numbing bit of jargon I've encountered the past 20 years.

clemenza, have you considered

~activating~ the modern learners?

they are full of stored up potential, waiting to be unleashed. but first you must activate

And me in love with modern learning
Me in love with modern rock & roll
Modern learning and modern rock & roll
Don't feel so alone, got the modern learners activated

"I had that dream again" is getting pretty tedious

"hellscape"

"jobby"

People that apologize for saying something weird. Being a normie isn't something people should strive for.

"what fresh hell..." was good when it was new. it is no longer new.

No longer fresh.

What everyone really needs to accept is that it’s horribly grating to hear anyone say anything that anyone else has ever said before

― devops mom (silby), Friday, July 6, 2018 6:18 PM (five months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ugh my mom used to say that

In The Flowers of Tarbes: or, Terror in Literature, Jean Paulhan distinguishes between rhetoricians – those who believe that language is a pre-existing reservoir of commonplace tropes – and terrorists – revolutionaries who demand that language be perpetually reinvented. I assume most of us itt are terrorists.

I like that construction

I'm absolutely a terrorist, there's nothing I love more than the abject crimes against comprehensibility I sometimes find in the wild

you might think of advertising and other forms of commercial text as tropey but the innovations I've seen in ads and headlines and marketing-speak have affected me profoundly

jazztalkers 4lyfe

on NPR I heard the termed "pwned" pronounced like "owned" with a p at the beginning ("poned" if you will). i don't know that i've ever attempted to pronounce pwned but would you say "poned" or just "owned" or "owned with a p"?

I still hear it in my head as "pawned"

I'd say it the NPR way.

made me cringe for some reason, but it's always a little embarrassing when internet lingo gets thrown around irl

That word should never be spoken

otm

pronounced "oat-um"

always heard poned, but have heard pawned before. i remember hearing the correct pronunciation is "owned", the p is not pronounced, but that's some dot-jiff shit best left in history's dustbin. actually the whole word is

like lets stop saying pwned we are no longer eagerly awaiting the 1.6 iteration of counterstrike

In my head pwned sort of rhymes with swooned. Not with boned.

Pwn basically rhymes with swoon.

This is partly by analogy with "cwm," a word derived from Welsh, meaning "valley," and it may be the only other English word in which way is a vowel.

But I acknowledge that this is not the general consensus.

* in which w functions as a vowel (I meant to say)

the term abu amza

when i used to play counterstrike and be on ventrilo back in the early 00s we (mainly British people with a few northern Europeans) used to say "poned"

cornpwn

i don't like the world progressive in most contexts that it's used - progressive politics, progressive rock, progressive house. i like the meaning that means going forward from step to step

agreed, it's an unpleasant word for some reason. "prog rock" is even worse.

ah, but the progressive income tax is a fine thing to behold

Pwned = teh l0lz

^

teh n00b

^
l337

"navigate expectations"

There is a complex science to avoiding letting anyone expect anything from you

when ppl use modernity to mean modern aka contemporary times as opposed to its term of art use as a particular era in history idk this is prescriptivist but esp in intellectual or political contexts bugs me