one out all out: a brexit from the modern world and every one of its problems please (we're all gonna die lol)

these clueless idiots are like the being john malkovich gateway into jacob rees-mogg's inner monologue

being jake moggovich

xxp these are the people they ignored when putting the dementia tax into the manifesto, I’m absolutely sure they’ll ignore them again to get a deal because of their fear of Corbyn.

There was a fairly good comment about the inevitability of the DUP getting burned but I didn’t paste cos there was an unironic Soros reference. :|

everything will be alright. Liam Fox has sailed into New York harbour on the aircraft carrier HMS Queen Elizabeth today - big trade mission. The Torygraph are saying this highlights our lack of a shiny new royal superyacht for such an important event, and the need to splash out on a new one.

yacht rot

you don't need to go all the way to the US for some chlorinated offal, there is a plentiful supply in Keighley.

>> The EU are doing all they can to hurt us. The latest is dividing us from the US using time zones. I used to work closely with the US due to having some hours of overlap in the working day. The EU want now to break that.

> what in the fuck is this person talking about

there's forever talk of messing with DST, i'm guessing it's that.

from a couple of months ago:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-45366390

but i can never work out how this affects us.

first they straightened bananas, now they want to bend time

God the prospect of this government until 2022, I ... just can’t.

look on the bright side, we might all be wiped off the face of the earth by a cleansing blast of total nuclear war between now and then

promising progress on that front this week, certainly

full posadism when

All you really need to know about conservativehome.com remains that their slogan is "the home of conservatism".

Although I notice that this bastion of British bastadry is designed and maintained by a company run by an ex pat in northern Sweden who likes to brag about the superior air quality there.

Fuckerrrrrrs https://www.theguardian.com/business/2018/oct/23/governments-rogue-landlord-list-empty-after-six-months

well maybe out of the UK's 2.5 million landlords, maybe they are all just bloody good landlords and above reproach(inc Robbie Fowler)! Or on the other hand maybe Mao had the right idea.

BUPA moving HQ to Dublin:

https://www.irishtimes.com/business/financial-services/bupa-said-to-plan-brexit-move-of-european-health-insurance-hub-to-dublin-1.3673452

oh cmon thats entirely unrelated

there are two different things being talked about there and they are related.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/brexit-latest-no-deal-theresa-may-border-force-criminals-national-audit-office-talks-a8598206.html

Lol we're all going to die

organised crime does thrive in chaos, good time to become a crim!

tbf the efforts of enterprising organised criminals to set up a post-brexit black market might be the only thing standing between us and dying of starvation, this could turn out to be a net positive

be nice to get some chicken that hasn't been fucking bathed in chlorine dioxide from somewhere, let's be honest!

t/s: chlorinated chicken vs black market mystery chicken

Everything tastes like chicken really, you probably won't even notice.

I hear the former has benefit of marinating nicely in it's residual chemicals during the long Atlantic crossing, that's gotta be an improvement on the Dutch and Irish stuff!

remember goodman meats

love2eat chicken with that tantalising hint of swimming pool water

best of this i assume the majority of people who hate heavily spiced chlorine-disguising cuisine are Brexiters anyway

a good (not bad) result of all this will be the return of those exemplary and beloved nay iconic british trades: PIRATES and HIGHWAYMEN snd SMUGGLERS

🎶 "watch the wall my darling as the GENTLEMEN GO BY" ♬

https://media.giphy.com/media/4phy1mxig0384/giphy.gif

https://i.giphy.com/media/4phy1mxig0384/giphy.webp

... slavers, opium dealers.

^One well-known Remainer already enjoying his late career change

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/71/Captain_clegg_poster.jpg

as somebody who lives in a major Europe-facing port i'm sure this represents a wealth of new career opportunities

brb gonna become a spiv and get ahead of the curve on what is going to be the fastest-growing sector of the post-brexit economy

'ello guv'nor, can i interest you in some goods what fell off the back of a lorry, cheapest prices this side of the english channel'

EXCLUSIVE

** Times sees cabinet papers revealing next stage of brexit Plan
** Brexit transition WILL last for years under TM’s Plan officials say. They warn of “long-running” multi-year transition
** Plan A WILL involve NI in separate VAT area. Officials admit “uncomfortable”. https://t.co/uyJkKoocB2

— Sam Coates Times (@SamCoatesTimes) October 23, 2018

Meanwhile:

Wow! In Strasbourg Conservative MEP @SyedKamall points at Social Democrat leader claiming Nazi national socialism was a socialist ideology. @UdoBullmann and @guyverhofstadt call for apologies and retraction. Big f**k-up for UK/Tory diplomacy at worst possible time. pic.twitter.com/u5C9FpD1dd

— Mark Johnston 🇪🇺 (@MarkJohnstonLD) October 24, 2018

sounds like he might have have been watching a bit of Ch5/Chris Tarrant recently.

Tarrant is fash now?!

he's ch5's resident holocaust expert, apparently!

that may not be a high bar :(

after Chegwin died there some big boots to fill...

not going to judge Tarrant until I've seen Dean Gaffney's Caravaning tour of the General Government tho!

Gaffney Goes Gulag

dean does dachau

if we're thought-showering new tv progs what about I'm a centrist get me out of here

✔

https://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/139/750x445/882632.jpg

I'm a centrist get me out of here

how quickly we forgot kezia dugdale's appearance on i'm a celebrity

tbh the idea that the English develop a taste for chevaline would probably be in the top ten things about No-deal Britain.