Barfly Best Practices

(plus yeah re tombot

If you’re aware of a shift change later in the day, don’t leave the change of a large bill on the bar to pay for your nexts — instead, tip for each as they’re poured. This makes it easier for the early shifter to sign off without them having to remind you and thus ask for their tip explicitly

Otm, I try to be aware of this when I can.

Sic: let's say you like to start drinking at 5:30, and you intend to stay for a while and have several drinks. But the bartender who gives you your first two drinks works only till 6. Then a different bartender comes in.

At this point, all the assembled barflies have a choice:

1. Close out their tab, so as to be sure their tips reach Bartender One. Then open a new tab with Bartender Two, so as to make sure that she or he gets tipped appropriately too.

2. Allow the tab to remain open and be transferred to Bartender Two. This runs the risk of stiffing Bartender One out of the tips on the first couple drinks.

Maybe the bar has a system for equitably distributing tips in this situation, maybe they don't; maybe they just figure it will work out karmically. You don't know, and it would be awkward to ask. So clearly Option 1 is better barfly etiquette.

CAVEAT: this assumes you are running a tab. If I understand Calstars correctly, calstars's seems to be talking more about a pay-as-you-go model. Which is also a tip-as-you-go model, unless you're a dick.

That model can be elegant, especially if you're using cash and rounding up generously to nice tidy whole-dollar amounts.

a slightly more elegant model is: pay a listed price for things.)

If carrying a cash balance on the bar itself, add new bills by placing them perpendicular, on the side of the bartender, to your stack of smaller bills.

Confirm your tip with the bartender. Never leave cash unattended.

I don’t worry about shift changes and tipping. I drink at the same bar all the time. They all know I got them overall.

Smoove Jeff
Respeck

can I get a buyback or what

Cal yr top tier single malt

Make a double, neat chief

When you’re on your 7th and wondering when the right time is to leave, do so whenever one of the following events occur:
- you belch loudly, causing a moment of silence to be observed around you
- navigation and walking control becomes difficult, possibly resulting in collisions with others
- you spill your drink on your running cash tab

- you immediately grab up the wet cash and try to suck out the absorbed liquor

the navigation rule is more otm than many of us would admit

Sometimes it’s ok to talk to the ugly one down the bar. They might have a friend.

the guy who posts to ilx about how irked he is at children being in the bar might have a friend too. but probably not

also might not be ugly (unlikely)

Tip well on the first, then moderately on subsequents. The aim is to strike the right balance between appearing to be generous and evidencing that you’re cheap enough to appreciate a buy back.

the miserable cunt landlord + his rude staff in my local wouldn't even get a steam off my piss tip off me. £4.60 for a pint of Stella, the place is full of unfriendly white-van yeomen arseholes and it's only 2 years since someone got murdered in the car park. The first time I went in there someone rudely shoulder barged past me because i wasn't a reg and the fool i was with sez: don't worry they were like me that with me for a few years as well.

Just out of interest calstars, how much do you pay for a pint in your bar?

$5 for the cheap stuff, $8 for everything else. Quite a jump. Occasionally there are happy surprises like seasonals that are out of season for half price.

that's just about as expensive as the some of godawful pubs here charge, although if you don't mind making a vile multi-millionaire richer it is much cheaper at Wetherspoons branches. Very much a no-tipping culture in the pubs here because we are such a socialist country.

Flashbacks to W4dd3ll sock puppets arguing with themselves in DNs above.

When ordering from a bar and sitting elsewhere, do so from out of arms-reach from others who are sitting at the bar. This reduces the opportunity for others to reach out and grab your tip.

This is not necessary if you never leave cash attended, which is the preferred practice.

Yeah I think in that situation I would either be running a tab (in which case I will tip upon settling up), handing over a card (in which case I will tip on the receipt) or handing over something like the right amount of cash (and suggesting that the change should be kept).

Not sure what barfly mechanics would entail my leaving cash within the reach of other patrons.

Further, if I'm ordering from the bar but not sitting at it, it's likely that the bar is so crowded that there IS no place out of arm's reach.

Sometimes you can’t help but be served by two bartenders. Sometimes there’s just no other option. In these cases you just have to roll with the punches and forgive however many lost buybacks you will miss.

if they care they close your tab when they're going off shift surely

Stupid Mexican beer in a pint glass with a lime slice on the lip drinking tip: rotate the lime a half turn every few draughts and sip from there

Or you could just squeeze the lime into the beer and leave it there

I had to completely refactor my mental calculus when drinking (or eating dinner) in Manhattan because the idea of separate checks or the wait staff splitting the check just does not compute. I mean, fair enough, I'm a traveler in a strange land, I must learn the ways. But it also explains why Venmo took off like crazy in NYC more than other places -- you're constantly having to send your friends cash because they got the tab!

so I guess I'd recommend paying per drink when sitting at the bar with a chum to make it easier, or carrying enough cash to just divvy up the bill. Or just buy the drinks and give the person you'll never see again a "you can get it next time!" wink

Keep in mind: mixed drinks don’t have a set alcohol content

When paying in small denominations, lay the cash out in separate piles for the drink and the tip

When finished with a can, crush it slightly to let the bartender know what’s up

If there are multiple bartenders and there is one you favorite, don’t be afraid to tell the others if you’re approached that you’re “good” with a wave of the hand. Then just be patient til you can order with your preferred.

One way to hit on a bartender is to say, “buy you a drink?”

An experienced server (one that’s probably worth your time) will tip cash face down. When you collect your change, leave the bills for the tip face up.

what is this nonsense

servers must fucking hate you

barfly best practice: run a tab, pay once, when you leave, tip 20-25%. fin.

does the alcohol go in the mouth or can it be drank another way

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GCcoaSq3x4

I don't get this leaving cash out on the bar.

Yeah, if it's a tip, but keep it in your pocket otherwise.

Keep in mind — from a bartender’s perspective, there’s nothing more useless than a patron commenting on the music.

ugh, nice newer bar and this group came in and they all are sitting, not waiting in a line. and two are doing the “holding cash up to get service” move. ok, it’s a small space and they are servicing _your group_ from left to right. you are the only people this guy is serving. and the guy near me has money in hand and singles on the bar in front of him, in some passive aggressive “this is the tip” move. and when he is about to be served, he puts those singles back in his wallet

diiiiiiieeee

If the tables are wobbly, place your drink in the middle

If the drinks are wobbly, place your

came here to post the same video as brownie upthread

When paying with a card at a new place, provide the most exclusive plastic (or metal) that you can. This may lead to better service and customer prioritization in anticipation of a large tip.

rich people are bad tippers so this probably won't work

my wife got a 10% tip from one of the countries wealthiest real estate developers/art patrons

lol yeah

this thread makes going to the bar seem like going to the soup nazi

“When in groups of 5 or multiples of 7, make sure to all sit on the same side on the booth and throw 8 five dollars bills folded into airplanes towards the bartender every 24 1/2 minutes”

also know the code name for your drink. calling it by its real name is an insult

Where I become language-cranky is around “I appreciate you”, what a fucking creepily passive-aggressive thing to say, oh I’m appreciated? like a painting or a vista lookout? It feels like a misuse of the word and a deliberate watering down of something more familiar, so “keeping you at arm’s length”. I don’t want to be appreciated I want to be loved gdi

― Stalin was a huge stoner and that’s why Communism (flamboyant goon tie included), Sunday, September 14, 2025 11:50 AM (five hours ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CchB1SDJ2-Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mb1ZvUDvLDY

re: "i appreciate you"
maybe inappropriate anecdote about inpatient psychiatric staff:
they prefer to take vitals twice daily and blood draws once every seven days. you can opt out. they prefer you not to. my roommate systematically refused and you don't know the true passive aggressive intimidation of the phrase "i appreciate you" until the tattoo covered 300lb 6 foot male nurse slightly flexes his scrubs tighter as he responds with it and puts the blood pressure monitor back on the cart.

hoping the best for calstars. i have not had a drink of alcohol in so long that i can't remember when the last one was. it was hard to stop. i knew i was being insufferable. i liked myself even less than i do now. i know this isn't really the thread for this, but i don't want anyone who i've met here to go through anything similar, even if they aren't the most exemplary people. agreed that timeouts are brilliant.

also ll otm "you hit submit, that's it!" alltime mantra!

❤️ I appreciate that

I actually like when people say they appreciate me. I don’t want anyone to love me for bringing their food but an appreciation is nice.

no, honestly! i wasn't gonna say anything but the discussion around when to delete/self-censor is relevant to my interests and you have some good points. so thank you!

and finally cosigning the round of thank yous for mods. thank you for reading, i will most likely never post in this thread again.👍🏻

It's a pretty versatile word in jocular use, "savage" as a verb to mean "ravage", or as adjective that is adjacent to "sick" (complimentary), or as an exclamation ("savages!") resembling "philistines!" to describe a group of people with whom you disagree on an aesthetic level. I just don't use it any more. Most of my Indigenous friends wouldn't care and aren't even aware that certain other Indigenous people object to it, but, you know, one objector is enough for me. Like "dyke", I've just retired it from my vocabulary entirely because one or two lesbians who doesn't like me saying it is enough for me to stop saying it in any context.

yeah i guess we just have different ways of dealing with this.