everybody on ilx complains about reddit

is "dragons growing under the rug" a real saying because i can't make any sense of it?

it's the jordan peterson subreddit so i assume it's something to do with peterson's 'dragon of chaos'

alternatively it's a vivid metaphor for mental illness

"bugs growing under my skin"

i mean the thing is there isn't an ounce of truth in any of these posts so it diminishes the lulz somewhat

jordan peterson fandom: morgellons disease for misogynists

It’s fascinating to me how none of these assholes ever paint their walls or get rid of the w2w carpet

― El Tomboto, Monday, July 30, 2018 10:54 AM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

There are dragons under the rug that are growing. I need some help here.

Haha

That has to be a joke

unquestionably the best reddit thread is the legaladvice thread where the dude posted about finding strange post-it notes around his apartment and his computer being tampered with and someone in the comments saved his life by correctly guessing he had carbon monoxide poisoning

— blocked thot (@chaeronaea) August 9, 2018

and ff.

https://www.reddit.com/r/HistoryMemes/ is good

"The plum pudding method"

o god

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DoDA_23V4AAIIAg.jpg

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/9j1nkq/update_i_35m_caught_my_wife_29f_rehearsing_a/

wow the OP is definitely worth reading

sheer poetry

TL;DR: guy takes his girlfriend to see Jordan Peterson speak, she immediately tells him she wants to see other people, he doesn't understand why. pic.twitter.com/CSQjGyNUrX

— Sturgeon's Law (@Sturgeons_Law) October 18, 2018

Magic

Falling for the Navy Seal Copypasta and calling the cops as a result strikes me as a weirdly eloquent snapshot of contemporary America:

https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/9vq7n3/united_statesi_posted_the_navy_seal_copypasta_in/

we've reached peak reddit

https://i.redd.it/5gjfv8y9ztx11.jpg

chefkiss.png

https://preview.redd.it/gecuo8llc8z11.jpg?width=431&auto=webp&s=419cf57019e42689f4d0cba678a9fb7dd53bb967

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/a5dga8/my_25_m_girlfriend_26_f_baked_all_the_beans_now_i/

Not as good as the guy who found out he and his girlfriend were using a dildo based on her ex's penis.

I've actually really gotten into a few subreddits lately. r/niceguys is depressingly hilarious. r/legaladvice and r/choosingbeggars also. Good carcrash internet idiots fun.

please post dildo thread

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/a4cky3/i_27m_have_unknowingly_been_using_my_gfs_27f_exs/
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/a4ygtg/update_i_27m_have_unknowingly_been_using_my_gfs/

relationships.txt Twitter account does a fine job of curating

That was sadder than I expected.

r/aww is great for cheering you up, has all the pics of cute pets one could ever need.

dildo thread was poignant

r/wholesomememes also good cheer.

r/aww is hilarious for all the people who lose their shit over reposts, reddit points are serious business

lol yeah I see that a lot on r/niceguys. but tbf theres a couple of memes that honestly do get reposted almost every day. Reddit is a fecking huge audience.

TIFU by admitting to my girlfriend that I pretend she is a giant cockroach when we have sex.
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2i7jid/tifu_by_admitting_to_my_girlfriend_that_i_pretend/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-p5aMxobg-s

idk, feel like that's not likely to make a top five of most fucked up fetishes i read about on the internet this week. Almost vanilla.

TIFU by waking up as a giant cockroach

TIFU by showing off a new machine for punishing condemned criminals by inscribing their crime on their skin with needles, but the visitor to the colony wasn't impressed at all

I got downvoted (presumably by an ilxor) for bagging on said ilxor's food post, lol. Sorry bro, that looked like straight garbage.

The good news is... he has never posted on this thread, so perhaps he will never know that was me!

how do you know it was food by someone from ilx?

so i was at dinner with a britisher. she ordered a prawn and rocket pizza. when it came, she put ketchup on it. I have pics

The poster has the same unusual username here and there, and by browsing their posting history I could tell it was the same person.

their algorithm does some weird auto-downvoting shit to compensate for spam or brigading

u should just spill so we can all see the gross food thing ilxor posted to reddit and downvote it

haha, i'm petty but not quite that petty!

ooh good clue. who is the biggest tom petty fan?

food redditor, please post yr gross food thing itt

i think i see the post in question and uh are you sure it is the same person?

Same hometown and same current city?

r/relationships:

I [26m] just caught my girlfriend [20f] lying to the IRS saying she’s ‘single’ on her tax form. Should I be concerned?

Top Comment:
u/FoghornLeghorn365
Boy shut the, I say, shut the fuck up

— Mike Ginn (@shutupmikeginn) January 17, 2019

Anyone been following this Spongebob Squarepants thing?

The main Spongebob subreddit, https://www.reddit.com/r/BikiniBottomTwitter/ , started a change.org petition a while back for the NFL to pay tribute to Spongebob creator Stephen Hillenburg, who died last year. They wanted them to play a Spongebob song, Sweet Victory, which came from an episode about a football halftime performance. The petition gathered over a million signatures.

At some point the nfl's twitter account (i think) tweeted a gif of Spongebob, leading many to believe that the song would indeed be included in the halftime show. For several weeks, /r/bikinibottomtwitter posts about Sweet Victory would rise to the top of /r/all, indicating the redditors fevered anticipation. On game day, Maroon 5 posted a teaser trailer that included Spongebob and it seemed like the deal was sealed.

However, when the halftime show rolled around, the tribute was minimal. A little bit of Spongebob footage was used to introduce Travis Scott's portion and I guess that was it.

/r/bikinibottomtwitter went into a full meltdown. People were like "I never would have watched the Superbowl if it hadn't been for the promise of a Spongebob tribute." The subreddit changed its downvote button to the NFL logo. Many even began brigading /r/nfl, whose mods apparently just adopted a policy of deleting any spongebob-related posts on sight.

finding it very hard to know who to root for here

lol reddit xp

lmao @ watching one football game in your life and having it be *that* one