abysmal real names

Jennifer Dypw1ck

Dying rn.

I encountered the last name 'Titsworth' for the first time yesterday.

Splinter de Mooij

"The US ambassador to Myanmar, Scot Marciel, said the decision was “deeply troubling”. Dan Chugg, Britain’s ambassador to Myanmar, said he was extremely disappointed by the verdict."

I recall a substitute teacher coming through the halls of the primary school I used to work in whose surname was "Bigrigg." It didn't help that she was definitely on the heavyset side of the spectrum.

I had a substitute teacher named Suzanne Dull
Ms Dull to us

Correction -- she was a student teacher not a sub

In catholic grade school, Father Krapfl.

until last year there was a teacher at my son's school literally named Miss Booty

wrong thread tho obv

lol was she apprentice to Miss Thang?

Was watching a Truffaut film this afternoon and came across a Philippe Leotard

https://m.imdb.com/name/nm0529645/

I was not aware until this morning that 'Hawdon' was a real last name possessed by real and very unfortunate people.

Buffy Wicks
Jovanka Beckles

AND THEY HATE EACH OTHER

Brown Ferguson

^ And it's not a reference to two famous racial segregation cases decided by the Supreme Court? Also weird because Michael Brown was shot & killed in Ferguson, MO.

gill-ermo del toro

xp. it's a scottish guy, born in 1981, so completely unrelated

Brown Ferguson sounds like it should have a really NSFW Urban Dictionary entry

Delissa Kimmince

j0hn cockad@y

Keeps the doctor away, so I hear.

Baroness Garden of Frognal

can some of you pls just start 'prurient real names' already

Josh Groban

Justi*n Sukup (must have been tough in grade school)

Ross Voss

I see freeway signs for a car dealer named Krap0hl and found out recently that one the founders was named Harold who I really hope he went by "harry" at some point in his life.

Turner E. Hubby

Duckens Nazon

Chasten Buttigieg

I really thought his name was Buttleg until today

Platt D. Babbitt

19th century photographer who took pictures of a guy while he was spending 18 hours hanging on to a branch before dying down niagara falls after a failed rescue, and then sold it in his tourist trap shop!

My friend has a business meeting with a Đildo tomorrow - apparently a Croatian first name. I would have thought that if you're based in London you would surely go by a different name.

I was going to mention the name of the guy who runs the funeral home that took care of my parents' funeral arrangements but I see that Devilock already mentioned him on August 31, 2015. Let me tell you, though: while Dick Tips has a comedy name and that was a bizarre news story, they were nothing but kind and professional when I had dealings with them and I couldn't have asked for a better company, especially with regards to my mom's arrangements when I was making them by myself.

Another local LOLsome name is the founder of our one big supermarket chain, Howard E. Butt, hence the name HEB. No, I am not making this up, and yes, it is the absolute best supermarket chain around.

The sudden rise in awareness of the surname "Buttigieg" in the U.S. (thanks to Pete Buttigieg) is kinda funny to me because for the longest time I'd always associated that surname with Canadian home organizing guru (kinda a proto-Marie Kondo minus the gimmickry) Hellen Buttigieg, whose show "Neat" became a mini-obsession for me back in 2015 - 2016.

Dick Posthumus

from a cursory google she seems cool but I'm sorry, mayor of san francisco "London Breed", you have a weird name.

y0l4nd4 s1th0l3

who seems like a pretty amazing person otherwise :/

Sithole is a very common South African (Zulu) surname.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sithole

Leone Sextus Denys Oswolf Fraudatifilius Tollemache-Tollemache de Orellana Plantagenet Tollemache-Tollemache

I named my new foster cat jonjo shelvey

that's too many tollemaches

His surname at birth was "Tollemache-Tollemache", his father having doubled his original surname, "Tollemache", in 1876 after his second marriage. "de Orellana" derives from the naming customs of Spain, where his mother came from, and is a forename rather than part of his surname. The first "Tollemache-Tollemache" also seems to be an unusual forename. Leone was Ralph's sixth son, hence "Sextus". "Fraudatifilius" is Latin for "son of the defrauded one". "Leone" repeats a pattern seen in the names of his elder brothers and sisters (Lyonel, Lyonesse, Lyulph, Lyona, Leo, Lyonella and Lyonetta). His first five initials, "LSD OF", may include a reference to the divisions of the pre-decimal British currency, £sd, for pounds, shillings, and pence followed by half-pence (ob., "obol") and farthings (i.e., quarter-pence). This may be a reference to a financial dispute between his father Ralph and Ralph's first wife's trustees which had driven him bankrupt in 1863.[4] Similarly, an elder brother was named Lyulph Ydwallo Odin Nestor Egbert Lyonel Toedmag Hugh Erchenwyne Saxon Esa Cromwell Orma Nevill Dysart Plantagenet Tollemache-Tollemache[5]—his first 15 initials spell "LYONEL THE SECOND". In practice, Leone shortened his name to "Leone Sextus Tollemache".

"He died on active service on 20 February 1917 from double pneumonia" and doubtless would have died of even more pneumonia if he could get it

lol

The text size on my work computer is clearly set way too low because I initially misread that as 'Toiletmachete'.

(And yes, text size is directly responsible for my brain inserting multiple rogue 't's into a given word, thank you for asking.)

The motherlode.

His imagination took flight when he named the many children from his second marriage:

Dora Viola Gertrude Irenez de Orellana Dysart Plantagenet (11 November 1869 – 4 July 1874)

Mabel Helmingham Ethel Huntingtower Beatrice Blazonberrie Evangeline Vise de Lou de Orellana Plantagenet Toedmag Saxon (11 March 1872 – 5 January 1955)

Lyonesse Matilda Dora Ida Agnes Ernestine Curson Paulet Wilbraham Joyce Eugénie Bentley Saxonia Dysart Plantagenet (9 November 1874 – 26 August 1944)

Lyulph Ydwallo Odin Nestor Egbert Lyonel (LYONEL) Toedmag Hugh Erchenwyne (THE) Saxon Esa Cromwell Orma Nevill Dysart (SECOND) Plantagenet (21 August 1876 – 1961)

Lyona Decima Veroica Esyth Undine Cyssa Hylda Rowena Adela Thyra Ursuala Ysabel Blanche Lelias Dysart Plantagenet (19 April 1878 – 17 November 1962) (Decima for being the 10th child)

Leo Quintus Tollemache-Tollemache de Orellana Plantagenet (19 November 1879 – 1 November 1914) (Quintus for being the 5th son)

Lyonella Fredegunda Cuthberga Ethelswytha Ideth Ysabel Grace Monica de Orellana Plantagenet (14 January 1882 – 3 October 1952)

Leone Sextus Denys Oswolf Fraudatifilius Tollemache-Tollemache de Orellana Plantagenet (10 June 1884 – 20 February 1917) (Sextus for being the 6th son)

Lyonetta Edith Regina Valentine Myra Polwarth Avelina Phillipa Violantha de Orellana Plantagenet (14 February 1887 – 7 January 1951)

Lyunulph Cospatrick Bruce Berkeley Jermyn Tullibardine Petersham de Orellana Dysart Plantagenet (11 January 1892 – 30 November 1960)

Append 'Tollemache-Tollemache' to each of those names, obv.