Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

https://i.imgur.com/b0YwwE0.jpg

ugh; I'd assume that's supposed to be ironic given recent circs of the company (or the ordinary) but perhaps not.

💦

I hate, hate, hate it the most when it's making a claim about what the company is like to work for. 'Cute and happy' does not fit in with the reality of what any job is like, even if the job is looking after the puppy in a shop that sells fairies and glitter. Imagine the mental stress involved in making 'cute and happy!' fit in with getting a bollocking off a boss for being below target and they're wrong but you need the money.

^ word. Know someone who briefly worked in a 'cat cafe' and they were cunts

not sure where to put this arsehole, maybe need a new thread idk

https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/536cd1016e0758ddcb18d70c049239c11b6aed80/717_694_4619_2771/master/4619.jpg?width=1920&quality=85&auto=format&usm=12&fit=max&s=3732ed123a70a6e941c06d595dc0ccbd

English Eccentrics that are complete cunts thread.

yeah something like that, a non-commercial equivalent of this thread basically

we've got this tiresome old bigot called Jake Mangel Wurzel, he has a bath mounted on top of his car, a dog called Manhole, wears wellington/pyjama combos. I always say ignore a vulgar attention seeker and they will get bored, but this fucker never gets bored.

i always say everybody needs some attention but not this way, not this way

I have a lot of time for autism spectrum mavericks, but anyone who could be bothered with such a maintained charade of "eccentricity" could only be a 100% neurotypical imo.

https://preview.ibb.co/jOjfZz/20180919_001421.jpg

Ha, I was just watching Limmy's Dee Dee sketch where he's in the kitchen and imagining the inner life of his t-shirt, this one sounds a bit less aggressive though.

I'm gonnae gi' its face a wee dunt wi' the iron. Show it who's boss.

lets to go back to the 70's and get a fucking washboard or twin tub, just so you can wear high maintenance fabrics. that sounds like fun.

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Wasn't there actually a terrible roller-coaster accident in this country not that long ago? I hope they've got their CRM/legal team in order.

I was going to say, I remember reading about people being seriously injured and a girl who had her leg amputated. Not cool.

Yeah, they can't even do twee bollocks right. Correct form would be "catastrophic knitting accident" or the like

when knitters die, do they pass through the purly gates?

Nothing says welcome back like "I've just been imagining your grisly death"

third cousin of mine put a needle straight through his own spleen a week back. last words to his wife were 'wear the scarf for me'

not sure this belongs here but I have two bugbears right now with social media adversiting:

1) announcements of local shows by performers are always phrased as: "San Francisco, we can't wait to see you!" Fuck off, I don't believe for a second anyone in the Damned thinks this.
2) I think this shit started with that stupid Omaze place but the photos of celebrities holding white signs with words written on them....drives me up the fucking wall.

wait, white signs w/words like in the Bob Dylan "Subterranean Homesick Blues" movie ... or something else?

it's 'cause some charities only get five minutes every six months with their celeb.

so they take a picture of them holding up a white piece of card and add the copy later

Here are the 'sales pitches' for all four of HSBC's adventures in city-branding: for Birmingham, Leeds, Manchester and London pic.twitter.com/rkA9r72tQH

— dan hancox (@danhancox) January 18, 2019

deeply fucking irritating? ✅

What point are the Hong Kong and Shanghai Bank trying to make there?

Argh, the Manchester one is "PM candidate visits McDonalds" level cringe.

Also, obvs more people know the song than the play, but "Look Back in Anger" is quoting John Osborne, who's from... Fulham

claim that Leeds invented fish and chips seems very questionable afaict

straight out of Harry Ramsden's bullshit origin story I'm guessing

actually, seeing the ayoade tv advert again, those echo the narration on those pretty closely.

my mum gave us some teething biscuits for our daughter from a company called BICKIEPEGS and occasionally i find the unbearably twee word BICKIEPEGS swimming unbidden into my consciousness and it makes me furious

even worse my daughter has a little drinking cup from BICKIEPEGS called the DOIDY CUP and i am occasionally haunted by the phrase ‘the DOIDY CUP from BICKIEPEGS’ which might be the worst string of syllables i’ve ever heard

lol

haha OTM
I quite like saying Doidy cup though

Everything to do with babies is vomit-inducing. My son's bunny is branded a 'sleepytot' and there's all sorts of 'babba wuv' type things. There is also a kids' clothing brand called Polarn O. Pyret which I can never ever remember the name of (spent 5 mins googling it just now) and constantly call it Porno for Pirates instead

"Sippy cup" is also a thing

Bickiepegs have been about since I was teething in the early 70s, and a quick Google shows they first went on sale in 1925. So not innocentsmoothieisation I'm afraid.

proto-smoothie, then

And doidy cups were around 50 years ago (at least); I had them as a toddler. It might not have been their official name, but that's what we called them. Back then they had a lid with a small spout: probably terribly bad for infant teeth.

The first time I saw an adult in London drinking a takeaway coffee through a sipper-lid (25 years ago? 30?), I thought "Ugh, Doidy Cup."

a doidy cup, iirc, is specifically designed to avoid the spout and it's potential damaging effects on tooth development. they're built with a slant to allow infants to learn to drink with potentially less spills, thus avoiding the need for a lid.

ime they don't work very well like, but still

deeply fucking irritating?

... I saw one of these in Glasgow too.

I recently bought some Bickiepegs online (don't stock them in our Boots). To be honest, the packaging looks reassuringly uncutesy and it's a relief they haven't been rebranded as Peggybickies.

https://i.imgur.com/UgqRnZW.png

y'all realize he does not want to go to back to the uk right?
(directed not at uk ilxors but at FIXR)

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is the animated MS paperclip an example of proto-Innocent aesthetic?

Kind of maybe but as i remember it didn't use the same ingratiating chummy slang that's the heart of Innocent speak

it's the only thing i can think of that remotely qualifies as "carefully crafted experiences that honor our Office heritage"

Yeah, i don't think that's an example of pure Innocent either, tho it's definitely Innocent-adjacent. It's more like hipster-artisanal.

The office paper clip bears culpability for the IA

Blood on his hands, if he had any, can't remember. Dickhead paperclip.